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<p>Attending a family member&#39;s wedding can be incredibly stressful, seeing as the situation includes two very tense topics: weddings and family. Things can get even more complicated when you are currently working on sobriety.</p><h2>A man shared his complex and upsetting situation at his sister&#39;s wedding on <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cmvrbe/aita_for_getting_upset_that_my_sisters_fiancé/" target="_blank">reddit</a> recently, after he encountered a high-stress situation and left feeling angry.</h2><p>He had recently decided to become sober, and was attending his sister&#39;s wedding.</p><p>His sister had helped him out in time of need, so being at her wedding was a pretty big deal. He explained:</p><blockquote> <p>I&rsquo;m 24 and I&rsquo;m an addict who has been in recovery for the past six months.</p> <p>I used and used until I was basically in poverty and my older sister helped bail me out more than once.</p> <p>She&rsquo;s my best friend and I know it hurt her a lot to see me like that.</p> <p>She also met her fianc&eacute; two years ago and he really only knew me as the junkie brother then. He&rsquo;s not my biggest fan to say the least considering how much I put my sister through.</p> <p>Despite this she still invited me to her wedding last week because I am her brother and she wanted me to be there.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>Things took a turn for the worse when the groom insisted on stop-and-frisking this guy in front of everyone.</h2><blockquote> <p>When I get to the reception, my brother in law is greeting people as they walk in.</p> <p>When I walk by he pulls me to the side and in front of everyone starts patting me down and says that he needs to check me to make sure I &ldquo;didn&rsquo;t bring anything in&rdquo;. I instinctively pull away, because why wouldn&rsquo;t I, and I tell him not to touch me.</p> </blockquote><h2>Not wanting to be treated like a second-class citizen at his sister&#39;s wedding, he refused to be searched, and things got heated.</h2><blockquote> <p>He tells me to &ldquo;calm down&rdquo; and that if I want to be here then he needs to do this. I tell him he&rsquo;s being ridiculous and I try to push past him. He stops me and tells me that he doesn&rsquo;t want to throw me out but he &ldquo;will if he has to.&rdquo; I told him that he&rsquo;s trying to look tough but it&rsquo;s just making him look stupid.</p> <p>At this point I&rsquo;m getting more and more angry and I&rsquo;m practically yelling in his face at this point. Bystanders came between us and separated us and told my BIL to just &ldquo;drop it.&rdquo; He said he would but that &ldquo;they can deal with it when I get out of hand.&rdquo;</p> <p>I just went to go find a seat after that.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>That was the end of the confrontation, but not the resolution of this issue. Unfortunately, this man&#39;s family is still upset over the matter.</h2><blockquote> <p>After the reception, a lot of my family told me that I should&rsquo;ve let him just do it and that I was acting like a huge asshole and like I had &ldquo;something to hide.&rdquo;</p> <p>I don&rsquo;t think he had any right to pat me down, especially in front of people and I don&rsquo;t think my reaction was over the top. If anything, he was the one acting like a huge douche by trying to start drama so he can look tough. My sister has refused to take any sides in this.</p> <p>AITA?</p> </blockquote><h2>So, now he wants to know if he was the assh*le in the situation. And the good people of reddit had answers for him.</h2><h2>Most didn&#39;t think this guy was in the wrong, and noted that the groom&#39;s choice to do this in public was especially offensive.</h2><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cmvrbe/aita_for_getting_upset_that_my_sisters_fiancé/" target="_blank">Sailor_Chibi</a> said:</h2><blockquote> <p>NTA. His reaction was so unnecessary and he is the one who caused a spectacle by trying to pat you down in front of everyone.</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cmvrbe/aita_for_getting_upset_that_my_sisters_fiancé/" target="_blank">Zeusified30</a> replied:</h2><blockquote> <p>Yup, his choice to do this in public is embarrasing and a real dick move. He should&#39;ve let you know beforehand that he would have issues with you being there, like a man.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>And <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cmvrbe/aita_for_getting_upset_that_my_sisters_fiancé/" target="_blank">LilBabyADHD</a> said:</h2><blockquote> <p>Absolutely. Like I get 6 months of recovery isn&#39;t a <em>ton</em> of time passed, but it&#39;s also not nothing (also honestly good on you, OP, for making it 6 months)! And if he felt this strongly that this was something they needed to do, that OP was at risk of relapse because of their wedding (?), he should have:</p> <ul> <li> <p>discussed it with OP&#39;s sister and been in agreement with her about it;</p> </li> <li> <p>told OP beforehand that it was a condition for his attendance; AND</p> </li> <li> <p>arranged for it to happen discretely, in a private place and not in front of everyone</p> </li> </ul> <p>you don&#39;t just get to spring that shit on someone, in public no less, and then attempt to embarrass them into compliance.</p> </blockquote><h2>Then, in another comment on the post, it became clear that this guy had gotten into physical altercations with his brother-in-law while high at other family functions. Some people felt this detail took away his rights to be treated as any other attendee at the wedding.</h2><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cmvrbe/aita_for_getting_upset_that_my_sisters_fiancé/" target="_blank">rocker3k</a> said:</h2><blockquote> <p>Yeah I have to go with ESH, OP NEEDED to put that info in the text box. I think that it&rsquo;s so influential to the post that it should be counted as voter manipulation. Obviously no one would say not that asshole without the important facts. honestly given the fact that op neglected to put in the glaring facts that completely change the voting mods should make him re upload the post with the extra information. Don&rsquo;t get me wrong though I respect OP for even putting in that information at all even though it was in the comment section, and frankly the brother in law should have gone about the testing differently which is why I voted ESH.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>And <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cmvrbe/aita_for_getting_upset_that_my_sisters_fiancé/" target="_blank">Keanucordenbleu</a> said:</h2><blockquote> <p>ESH, he doesn&rsquo;t have any right to do that but yelling is not going to get anyone on your side.</p> <p>You&rsquo;ve fucked over your sister in the past, maybe you should give the guy that loves her a break.</p> </blockquote><p>Obviously, this story has a lot of layers, and it&#39;s difficult to have an informed opinion on such a personal matter. But I think we can all agree that weddings are the worst.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Man asks if he's wrong for refusing to be patted down for drugs at his sister's wedding.

Attending a family member&#39;s wedding can be incredibly stressful, seeing as the situation includes two very tense topics: weddings and family. Things can get even more complicated when you are currently working on sobriety.A man shared his complex and upsetting situation at his sister&#39;s wedding on reddit recently, after he encountered a high-stress situation and left feeling angry.He had recently decided to become sober, and was attending his sister&#39;s wedding.His sister had helped him out in time of need, so being at her wedding was a pretty big deal. He explained: I&rsquo;m 24 and I&rsquo;m an addict who has been in recovery for the past six months. I used and used until I was basically in poverty and my older sister helped bail me out more than once. She&rsquo;s my best friend and I know it hurt her a lot to see me like that. She also met her fianc&eacute; two years ago and he really only knew me as the junkie brother then. He&rsquo;s not my biggest fan to say the least considering how much I put my sister through. Despite this she still invited me to her wedding last week because I am her brother and she wanted me to be there. Things took a turn for the worse when the groom insisted on stop-and-frisking this guy in front of everyone. When I get to the reception, my brother in law is greeting people as they walk in. When I walk by he pulls me to the side and in front of everyone starts patting me down and says that he needs to check me to make sure I &ldquo;didn&rsquo;t bring anything in&rdquo;. I instinctively pull away, because why wouldn&rsquo;t I, and I tell him not to touch me. Not wanting to be treated like a second-class citizen at his sister&#39;s wedding, he refused to be searched, and things got heated. He tells me to &ldquo;calm down&rdquo; and that if I want to be here then he needs to do this. I tell him he&rsquo;s being ridiculous and I try to push past him. He stops me and tells me that he doesn&rsquo;t want to throw me out but he &ldquo;will if he has to.&rdquo; I told him that he&rsquo;s trying to look tough but it&rsquo;s just making him look stupid. At this point I&rsquo;m getting more and more angry and I&rsquo;m practically yelling in his face at this point. Bystanders came between us and separated us and told my BIL to just &ldquo;drop it.&rdquo; He said he would but that &ldquo;they can deal with it when I get out of hand.&rdquo; I just went to go find a seat after that. That was the end of the confrontation, but not the resolution of this issue. Unfortunately, this man&#39;s family is still upset over the matter. After the reception, a lot of my family told me that I should&rsquo;ve let him just do it and that I was acting like a huge asshole and like I had &ldquo;something to hide.&rdquo; I don&rsquo;t think he had any right to pat me down, especially in front of people and I don&rsquo;t think my reaction was over the top. If anything, he was the one acting like a huge douche by trying to start drama so he can look tough. My sister has refused to take any sides in this. AITA? So, now he wants to know if he was the assh*le in the situation. And the good people of reddit had answers for him.Most didn&#39;t think this guy was in the wrong, and noted that the groom&#39;s choice to do this in public was especially offensive.Sailor_Chibi said: NTA. His reaction was so unnecessary and he is the one who caused a spectacle by trying to pat you down in front of everyone. Zeusified30 replied: Yup, his choice to do this in public is embarrasing and a real dick move. He should&#39;ve let you know beforehand that he would have issues with you being there, like a man. And LilBabyADHD said: Absolutely. Like I get 6 months of recovery isn&#39;t a ton of time passed, but it&#39;s also not nothing (also honestly good on you, OP, for making it 6 months)! And if he felt this strongly that this was something they needed to do, that OP was at risk of relapse because of their wedding (?), he should have:   discussed it with OP&#39;s sister and been in agreement with her about it;   told OP beforehand that it was a condition for his attendance; AND   arranged for it to happen discretely, in a private place and not in front of everyone   you don&#39;t just get to spring that shit on someone, in public no less, and then attempt to embarrass them into compliance. Then, in another comment on the post, it became clear that this guy had gotten into physical altercations with his brother-in-law while high at other family functions. Some people felt this detail took away his rights to be treated as any other attendee at the wedding.rocker3k said: Yeah I have to go with ESH, OP NEEDED to put that info in the text box. I think that it&rsquo;s so influential to the post that it should be counted as voter manipulation. Obviously no one would say not that asshole without the important facts. honestly given the fact that op neglected to put in the glaring facts that completely change the voting mods should make him re upload the post with the extra information. Don&rsquo;t get me wrong though I respect OP for even putting in that information at all even though it was in the comment section, and frankly the brother in law should have gone about the testing differently which is why I voted ESH. And Keanucordenbleu said: ESH, he doesn&rsquo;t have any right to do that but yelling is not going to get anyone on your side. You&rsquo;ve fucked over your sister in the past, maybe you should give the guy that loves her a break. Obviously, this story has a lot of layers, and it&#39;s difficult to have an informed opinion on such a personal matter. But I think we can all agree that weddings are the worst.

Attending a family member&#39;s wedding can be incredibly stressful, seeing as the situation includes two very tense topics: weddings and family. Things can get even more complicated when you are currently working on sobriety.  A man...