In most scenarios, it's good practice to not meddle in an ex's new relationship. Regardless of intentions, it can make you look desperate or vindictive, plus you really can't know how much someone has changed in a new relationship.

However, if your ex was an abuser - emotionally or physically, alerting their next partner can save another person from months or years of pain. The only issue is, approaching an ex's partner to tell them the truth can be an awkward and tricky situation to navigate.

In a recent post on the Am I The *sshole subreddit, a guy asked if he was wrong for letting his ex's boyfriend know about her behavior.

AITA for warning my ex’s boyfriend about her?

OP shared that his ex was intensely verbally abusive and would constantly undermine his self-worth.

I dated a really horrible person who was verbally abusive to me. She would constantly say things like i wasn’t good enough for her and she was never there for me when I needed it most. Before we broke up she would go through periods of several days of just ghosting me and she even made a post talking about how girls should ghost their boyfriends to make them miss them.

On top of everything else, at the end of their relationship OP found out she cheated on him.

She ghosted me for 5 days and then I decided that I’m done and I broke up with her. She instantly got my text notifying I was breaking up with her and she called me constantly and when I finally picked up she screamed and cursed me out, then begged me to come back. I later found out she cheated on me. A month later I see her at a bar with a new boyfriend and I waited until he went to the bathroom.

A month after their split, OP ran into his ex and her new boyfriend at the bar.

He looked scared as I went and said “look bro I don’t want any trouble-“ I cut him off and told him I was here to warn him about how much of a crazy b*tch she is. I just played him the voice mails, audio messages and showed him her texts. He was horrified at all the nasty and horrible things my girlfriend said and I told him the whole story. He thanked me and left the bar. I later found out he broke up with her.

When his ex's new boyfriend went to the bathroom, OP decided to introduce himself and warn the new guy about his ex's behavior. OP pulled up screenshots of texts and voicemails detailing just how cruel his ex could be. This ultimately resulted in them breaking up.

brydeswhale thinks OP did the right thing.

NTA

Women warn other women about their abusive boyfriends. Why can’t men do the same?

Kareeenina believes people can change, but given the timeline thinks OP did the right thing.

NTA. It was nice of you to warn him about her her, you probably saved him from a lot of trouble. Even though I believe people might change in the way they treat others, a month doesn't seem enough time for her to let go of her abusive behaviour.

Filitass thinks OP did the new boyfriend a massive favor.

NTA.

I for one would appreciate that. The dude dodged a bullet because of you, and not every man would be as honest as you were. I had a similar GF back in highschool, and her ex was all like "oh I wish you the best of luck yada yada", if I only had known then...turned out he broke up with her because she cheated multiple times. So yea. He could have saved me trouble there and I wouldnt have wasted 6 months of my life because, yea you guessed it, she cheated.

Also, prepare for some bullies who will call you TA simply for calling her a crazy b*tch. You are NOT TA and you did the guy a favor.

All in all, OP did the right thing and set a good precedent for other men who got out of abusive relationships. It's already code for women to warn each other about male abusers, so the same should be applied to men getting out of similarly dangerous relationships.

Man asks if he's wrong to show his ex's new boyfriend her threatening texts.