Raising a baby, while rewarding, comes with a lot of both physical and mental challenges and if you're already mental ill, it's critically important to seek treatment before adding more chaos to you and you partner's life.
When a recent Reddit user consulted "Am I the As*hole?" to ask about a disagreement he got into with his wife over whether she was ready to have a baby, people were there for him. Is obsessively cleaning your home every day a red flag for motherhood? You decide!
My wife has self diagnosed anxiety. She won’t talk to her doctor about it because she says that she has it managed. She says cleaning relieves her anxiety.
The problem is that I think the cleaning is a symptom of her anxiety and not a solution. She constantly cleans. I mean constantly. Our house smells like cleaning products at all times. We try to buy eco friendly cleaners but she says some stuff you just need the “hard chemicals” to get it as clean as she wants.
I have begged her to go to the dr about her anxiety but she refuses.
We decided we would start trying for a baby after 2 years of marriage. We recently hit the 2 year mark and she wants to start trying.
I told her she needs to see a dr about her anxiety first and get control of her obsessive cleaning. I don’t think it would be safe to bring a baby in our house with all of the cleaning fumes. I don’t even think it’s safe for us. The one compromise we’ve come to is no harsh chemicals in our bedroom but everything else is free game. Now I’m wanting to take it a step further. Like one day a week she can clean with harsh chemicals and the rest, we need to just stick to soap or vinegar and water.
I told her I will not willingly try for a baby until we get this under control. She’s pissed at me for giving her an “ultimatum” and thinks I’m implying that she’d be a bad mom.
Am I wrong for not wanting to try for a baby under these circumstances?