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<h2>It&#39;s not news that having a marriage, a child, a job, a social life, and a healthy physique is a challenge.</h2><p>Sometimes it feels like there just aren&#39;t enough hours in a day to be a good spouse, parent, employee, friend and gym member. Of course, the first sacrifice to make when you&#39;re overwhelmed by the juggling circus of life is usually your work out.</p><p>However, we all know that exercise is key to our overall mental and physical health. It lifts not only our heart rates, but also our energy levels and mood--all things that contribute back to being a good spouse, parent, employee, and friend. And alas, this is where it gets complicated. On second thought, maybe it&#39;s not so tragic to be single forever and drinking wine alone every night with unlimited time? *Rearranges five year plan.*</p><p>When a woman on the &quot;Am I The Asshole (AITA)&quot; section of <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cskg9j/aita_for_wanting_our_nanny_to_stay_for_an_extra_2/">Reddit </a>asked the internet for help with the stress of &quot;having it all,&quot; people were eager to offer their opinion (and judgment).</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>AITA for wanting our nanny to stay for an extra 2 hours on weeknights, so I can have time for the gym?</h2><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" onload="(__markFirstPostVisible || function(){})();" src="https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/img/renderTimingPixel.png" /></div></figure><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>My husband and I have a 4 year old daughter. We both work, so during the days we have a nanny come in. We still wanted to prioritize family time though.</p> <p>I have been feeling really drained recently, missing the hobbies I did before we had our daughter. Back then; I&#39;d do kickboxing right after work on Mondays and Wednesdays, and yoga right after work on Tuesdays and Thursdays.</p> <p>And I realized I could still swing it, potentially.</p> <p>My time away from home, work and commute combined, is 8:00 am - 4:30 pm.</p> <p>My husband is away from 8:00 am - 7:00 pm because he works longer hours and had a longer commute.</p> <p>If I started going back to working out, I&#39;d still be able to make it home before 6 or 7 every day, and still be able to spend time as a whole family. To be honest, when I have been getting home at 4:30 every day, and taking over from our nanny, all I&#39;ve wanted to do was zone out.</p> <p>So I mentioned to my husband that I was gonna offer our nanny more hours during the week, so I could get to the gym. He went &quot;ok&quot; but didn&#39;t seem to be thinking about details, and he didn&#39;t ask any more questions.</p> <p>So, for the last few weeks, I&#39;ve been having our nanny stay till 6:30 every weekday, she&#39;s happy to have the extra hours and I&#39;m enjoying getting back to my workouts. Plus I use Friday evening to do some grocery shopping alone because it&#39;s a lot easier than doing it with a kid in tow.</p> <p>I was casually taking to my husband about our monthly budget, which I manage because I&#39;m better with cash, and how I was offsetting the cost of having our nanny stay an extra 10 hours a week. I had stopped going out for lunch as often, and I&#39;d replaced some of our usual purchases (soap, TP, detergent, shampoo, etc) with bulk purchases online.</p> <p>And my husband was like &quot;What, 10 hours? You said you were just going out to the gym sometime&quot;. So I explained my schedule, and he wasn&#39;t happy with it. He said he didn&#39;t want to be the type of parents who push their kid off on a nanny all the time. Work is one thing, but going out for hours everyday after work was another.</p> <p>I told him about how it made me much more refreshed and happy, the time I all home. So while I&#39;m decreasing the time I&#39;m home a little, I&#39;m really increasing quality time with my family. Because I feel energized rather than drained. I didn&#39;t realize how much I missed working out regularly until I got back to it.</p> <p>My husband thinks I&#39;m being selfish; he doesn&#39;t like that I want so much time to recharge from family time. He thinks it should be fulfilling, not draining.</p> <p>And I&#39;m honestly happy it is for him. But I&#39;m an introvert, I like being able to spend some time just focusing on my workout and letting go of stress. And I really don&#39;t want to give it up, now that I&#39;ve been doing it for a few weeks.</p> <p>AITA for wanting this much &quot;me time&quot;?</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>This is tricky. Granted, I don&#39;t know what this child&#39;s specific bedtime is, but it seems that this plan only provides her and her husband 1-2 hours every day of actually being with their child? Perhaps her husband&#39;s concern was that working out every day is optional, whereas work is not. If he could be home earlier, he would perhaps enjoy more time with his daughter? That being said, if working out is the one thing that is keeping this woman happy in her schedule and her family life, there needs to be some way she can fit it in.</p><h2>The people of Reddit weighed in:</h2><h2>&quot;Violetsmommy&quot; wrote:</h2><blockquote> <p>Yeah, I am really confused on &ldquo;family time&rdquo; with this schedule. I have a five year old, and our bedtime routine (shower, snack, 15 minutes movie and bedtime story) starts at 745-8 pm. I work until 5 and already feel like we hardly have any time together during the week.</p> <p>I think honestly both parents need to adjust their schedules. While I understand completely the need for personal time, I also feel losing some of that is just part of having children. I am the only parent for my daughter so I get maybe one evening a month to do something with friends and that is it. I see nothing wrong with exercise, especially if it has a positive impact on OPs mental health, but I think scaling it back is reasonable. Maybe just two nights per week? I also think OPs husband should be making schedule changes to get home earlier as well. It is unfair to expect OP to be responsible for all of the &ldquo;family time&rdquo; that is so important to the husband.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>&quot;afmastro&quot; thinks she is NTA (Not the Asshole):</h2><blockquote> <p>Another option, though not pleasant for me, but many people do it, is OP can work out in the morning before work. OP and her husband leave work at 8am right now. If he doesn&rsquo;t want his daughter without a parent too long, he can take care of the mornings and OP can do afternoon.</p> <p>NTA, OP. I don&rsquo;t blame you for wanting your me time, but if you can swing getting up earlier, maybe go to the gym in the morning.</p> <p>I don&rsquo;t know if the fun classes are in the morning. The YMCA I used to belong to only had spin classes at 5am when they opened. Those are boring IMO. The fun yoga and Zumba classes were in the afternoon and evening.</p> <p>Another option would be to look into maybe finding a designated place to set up a workout video in your home and getting some workout videos.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>&quot;rawbface&quot; voted that she&#39;s the asshole:</h2><blockquote> <p>Do you really spend 2 hours at the gym every day Monday through Friday? With those hours I&#39;d be convinced my wife is cheating on me.</p> <p>I have a baby at home and I have a very intense 30 minute workout that I&#39;ll do at the gym a few times a week. With changing and showering after it&#39;s probably an extra hour until I&#39;m home doing home stuff.</p> <p>With your gym schedule it sounds like you really want to get away from that 4 year old. Poor kid. You&#39;re entitled to me time of course, this just seems way excessive.</p> </blockquote><h2>&quot;bills13mq&quot; wrote:</h2><blockquote> <p>not for taking some extra time to take care of your mental and physical health, but for tacking on an extra TEN HOURS a week to do so.</p> <p>I try to workout daily, and I&rsquo;m having a really, really hard time seeing why you need two hours every day to get a workout in. 45 minutes should really be enough&mdash; bump that to an hour maybe for travel/simplicity. Doubling that time is frankly over-indulgent.</p> <p>The fact that in the comments you compare your husband&rsquo;s long <em>commute</em> to these two hour relaxation periods confirms for me that yeah, YTA.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>&quot;Malmrawr&quot; voted &quot;Not the Asshole&quot;:</h2><blockquote> <p>Honestly kind of shocked at all the posters with the judgment. It makes me think they aren&#39;t mothers or don&#39;t have children. Women in general (studies have proven this) do more household and childrearing work than men, all other things equal, and I&#39;m guessing from the details in this post that this is the case with your family as well. It seems you do all the shopping, all the budgeting/financing, and presumably most of the cooking and housework as well. And prior to your new schedule, you were also providing more childcare than your husband. What no one seems to acknowledge is that taking care of a child is work - and it&#39;s hard work. Yes, it is rewarding, but you should absolutely not be expected to sacrifice your needs for the sake of spending every spare hour with your four-year-old. Just because you aren&#39;t at work as long as your husband does not mean you don&#39;t deserve personal time. If your husband needs personal time too, then it&#39;s on him to bring it up and work to find a compromise that allows you both time to take care of your needs. I find time to go to the gym every day, and I do not regret it. It makes me a better mother. Also by your own math, you are still spending more time with your child than your husband. There&#39;s probably a compromise in there somewhere - shorten the workout, take the kiddo shopping with you on Friday, etc. - but you shouldn&#39;t ever apologize for taking time for yourself. NTA.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>So, there you have it. This is a complicated issue. Most people on Reddit said this mom was in the wrong, but in my opinion, she&#39;s not. Even the hours she&#39;s using to not go to the gym (Friday) she&#39;s spending grocery shopping and providing for the house and her family. She deserves to do what made her happy before she had a child, and she&#39;s still coming home when her husband comes home. Cut her some slack!</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Mom asks if she's selfish to have her nanny work extra hours so she can work out.

It&#39;s not news that having a marriage, a child, a job, a social life, and a healthy physique is a challenge.Sometimes it feels like there just aren&#39;t enough hours in a day to be a good spouse, parent, employee, friend and gym member. Of course, the first sacrifice to make when you&#39;re overwhelmed by the juggling circus of life is usually your work out.However, we all know that exercise is key to our overall mental and physical health. It lifts not only our heart rates, but also our energy levels and mood--all things that contribute back to being a good spouse, parent, employee, and friend. And alas, this is where it gets complicated. On second thought, maybe it&#39;s not so tragic to be single forever and drinking wine alone every night with unlimited time? *Rearranges five year plan.*When a woman on the &quot;Am I The Asshole (AITA)&quot; section of Reddit asked the internet for help with the stress of &quot;having it all,&quot; people were eager to offer their opinion (and judgment).AITA for wanting our nanny to stay for an extra 2 hours on weeknights, so I can have time for the gym? My husband and I have a 4 year old daughter. We both work, so during the days we have a nanny come in. We still wanted to prioritize family time though. I have been feeling really drained recently, missing the hobbies I did before we had our daughter. Back then; I&#39;d do kickboxing right after work on Mondays and Wednesdays, and yoga right after work on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And I realized I could still swing it, potentially. My time away from home, work and commute combined, is 8:00 am - 4:30 pm. My husband is away from 8:00 am - 7:00 pm because he works longer hours and had a longer commute. If I started going back to working out, I&#39;d still be able to make it home before 6 or 7 every day, and still be able to spend time as a whole family. To be honest, when I have been getting home at 4:30 every day, and taking over from our nanny, all I&#39;ve wanted to do was zone out. So I mentioned to my husband that I was gonna offer our nanny more hours during the week, so I could get to the gym. He went &quot;ok&quot; but didn&#39;t seem to be thinking about details, and he didn&#39;t ask any more questions. So, for the last few weeks, I&#39;ve been having our nanny stay till 6:30 every weekday, she&#39;s happy to have the extra hours and I&#39;m enjoying getting back to my workouts. Plus I use Friday evening to do some grocery shopping alone because it&#39;s a lot easier than doing it with a kid in tow. I was casually taking to my husband about our monthly budget, which I manage because I&#39;m better with cash, and how I was offsetting the cost of having our nanny stay an extra 10 hours a week. I had stopped going out for lunch as often, and I&#39;d replaced some of our usual purchases (soap, TP, detergent, shampoo, etc) with bulk purchases online. And my husband was like &quot;What, 10 hours? You said you were just going out to the gym sometime&quot;. So I explained my schedule, and he wasn&#39;t happy with it. He said he didn&#39;t want to be the type of parents who push their kid off on a nanny all the time. Work is one thing, but going out for hours everyday after work was another. I told him about how it made me much more refreshed and happy, the time I all home. So while I&#39;m decreasing the time I&#39;m home a little, I&#39;m really increasing quality time with my family. Because I feel energized rather than drained. I didn&#39;t realize how much I missed working out regularly until I got back to it. My husband thinks I&#39;m being selfish; he doesn&#39;t like that I want so much time to recharge from family time. He thinks it should be fulfilling, not draining. And I&#39;m honestly happy it is for him. But I&#39;m an introvert, I like being able to spend some time just focusing on my workout and letting go of stress. And I really don&#39;t want to give it up, now that I&#39;ve been doing it for a few weeks. AITA for wanting this much &quot;me time&quot;? This is tricky. Granted, I don&#39;t know what this child&#39;s specific bedtime is, but it seems that this plan only provides her and her husband 1-2 hours every day of actually being with their child? Perhaps her husband&#39;s concern was that working out every day is optional, whereas work is not. If he could be home earlier, he would perhaps enjoy more time with his daughter? That being said, if working out is the one thing that is keeping this woman happy in her schedule and her family life, there needs to be some way she can fit it in.The people of Reddit weighed in:&quot;Violetsmommy&quot; wrote: Yeah, I am really confused on &ldquo;family time&rdquo; with this schedule. I have a five year old, and our bedtime routine (shower, snack, 15 minutes movie and bedtime story) starts at 745-8 pm. I work until 5 and already feel like we hardly have any time together during the week. I think honestly both parents need to adjust their schedules. While I understand completely the need for personal time, I also feel losing some of that is just part of having children. I am the only parent for my daughter so I get maybe one evening a month to do something with friends and that is it. I see nothing wrong with exercise, especially if it has a positive impact on OPs mental health, but I think scaling it back is reasonable. Maybe just two nights per week? I also think OPs husband should be making schedule changes to get home earlier as well. It is unfair to expect OP to be responsible for all of the &ldquo;family time&rdquo; that is so important to the husband. &quot;afmastro&quot; thinks she is NTA (Not the Asshole): Another option, though not pleasant for me, but many people do it, is OP can work out in the morning before work. OP and her husband leave work at 8am right now. If he doesn&rsquo;t want his daughter without a parent too long, he can take care of the mornings and OP can do afternoon. NTA, OP. I don&rsquo;t blame you for wanting your me time, but if you can swing getting up earlier, maybe go to the gym in the morning. I don&rsquo;t know if the fun classes are in the morning. The YMCA I used to belong to only had spin classes at 5am when they opened. Those are boring IMO. The fun yoga and Zumba classes were in the afternoon and evening. Another option would be to look into maybe finding a designated place to set up a workout video in your home and getting some workout videos. &quot;rawbface&quot; voted that she&#39;s the asshole: Do you really spend 2 hours at the gym every day Monday through Friday? With those hours I&#39;d be convinced my wife is cheating on me. I have a baby at home and I have a very intense 30 minute workout that I&#39;ll do at the gym a few times a week. With changing and showering after it&#39;s probably an extra hour until I&#39;m home doing home stuff. With your gym schedule it sounds like you really want to get away from that 4 year old. Poor kid. You&#39;re entitled to me time of course, this just seems way excessive. &quot;bills13mq&quot; wrote: not for taking some extra time to take care of your mental and physical health, but for tacking on an extra TEN HOURS a week to do so. I try to workout daily, and I&rsquo;m having a really, really hard time seeing why you need two hours every day to get a workout in. 45 minutes should really be enough&mdash; bump that to an hour maybe for travel/simplicity. Doubling that time is frankly over-indulgent. The fact that in the comments you compare your husband&rsquo;s long commute to these two hour relaxation periods confirms for me that yeah, YTA. &quot;Malmrawr&quot; voted &quot;Not the Asshole&quot;: Honestly kind of shocked at all the posters with the judgment. It makes me think they aren&#39;t mothers or don&#39;t have children. Women in general (studies have proven this) do more household and childrearing work than men, all other things equal, and I&#39;m guessing from the details in this post that this is the case with your family as well. It seems you do all the shopping, all the budgeting/financing, and presumably most of the cooking and housework as well. And prior to your new schedule, you were also providing more childcare than your husband. What no one seems to acknowledge is that taking care of a child is work - and it&#39;s hard work. Yes, it is rewarding, but you should absolutely not be expected to sacrifice your needs for the sake of spending every spare hour with your four-year-old. Just because you aren&#39;t at work as long as your husband does not mean you don&#39;t deserve personal time. If your husband needs personal time too, then it&#39;s on him to bring it up and work to find a compromise that allows you both time to take care of your needs. I find time to go to the gym every day, and I do not regret it. It makes me a better mother. Also by your own math, you are still spending more time with your child than your husband. There&#39;s probably a compromise in there somewhere - shorten the workout, take the kiddo shopping with you on Friday, etc. - but you shouldn&#39;t ever apologize for taking time for yourself. NTA. So, there you have it. This is a complicated issue. Most people on Reddit said this mom was in the wrong, but in my opinion, she&#39;s not. Even the hours she&#39;s using to not go to the gym (Friday) she&#39;s spending grocery shopping and providing for the house and her family. She deserves to do what made her happy before she had a child, and she&#39;s still coming home when her husband comes home. Cut her some slack!

It&#39;s not news that having a marriage, a child, a job, a social life, and a healthy physique is a challenge.  Sometimes it feels like there just aren&#39;t enough hours in a day to be a good spouse, parent, employee, friend and gym...