While the ideal scenario is that children grow up with two sets of loving grandparents, life isn't always a Hallmark movie. Especially when racism is involved.
Differing political beliefs and religious views can tear families apart and when children come into the equation, people rightfully become more protective. However, racism is obviously entirely inexcusable and if your family is unrelentingly racist, it's best they're not involved in your life or your children's lives.
When a recent Reddit user consulted the moral compass of the internet (Reddit's "Am I the As*hole?" thread) to ask about cutting off her racist family, strangers were definitely ready to give her advice.
I (Caucasian F26) married (Filipino M 28) 2018. Everyone in my family is married to someone Caucasian, literally no-one is in a mixed relationship. About 2 years ago I met my husband and we've been in love ever since. My parents never approved of our relationship and gave me an ultimatum. If I didn't leave him they'd kick me out and never speak to me again. There was not one reason to hate him bc 1. They've never met him 2. They didn't want to meet him at all and 3. As soon as I mentioned he was Asian they looked visibly upset and my dad turned beet red. And since I didn't leave him, everyone in my family shunned me. For over two years my family didn't talk to me and didn't even know if I was okay. I tried to call them and even visit, but they'd never answer. After a while I got tired of trying.
Fast forward 2018, my husband proposed and we agreed on having a small wedding with just close friends and family (80 people approx). I invited my parents, siblings, and close family but no-one showed up. I was so heartbroken because I never got my parents blessing and this is a one in a lifetime event. Towards the end of 2018 I find out I'm pregnant with our first child and we're so excited to be parents. I plan out a small baby shower and I again invite my family and no-one shows up. My mom decides to phone me later that night to tell me that my child will never be accepted into their family and that I'm a disgrace. At this point I'm fed up with them because they have so much hatred to their own grandson and he's just an innocent baby. A few weeks later I give birth and no-one in my family shows up to see him. But I didn't let them affect my happiness.
Fast forward to this year 2020, my son is 6 months old and he doesn't know who his aunts, uncles, cousins, or grandparents are. He doesn't know any family besides my husband's. Two nights ago, my mom called to meet her grandkid but I immediately said no and didn't explain why. I'm afraid they might hurt my child to begin with and they never cared for him until now.