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Mom asks if she was wrong to boycott family Easter because it’s too ‘kid-centric.’

Mom asks if she was wrong to boycott family Easter because it’s too ‘kid-centric.’


Family-friendly activities and events that allow parents to bond with their children can be fun, but parents also have an identity outside of constant conversation about the best kindergarten or the healthiest cookie recipe...

So, when a frustrated mom decided to consult the online courtroom of moral philosophy otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole?' about her family's constant kid-centric activities, people were eager to help.

'AITA (Am I the As*hole) for following through and not going to Easter because I'm tired of EVERY family thing being about the kids?'

I'm 26, two kids, and 4/5 sisters have kids, with the exception of Serena, who is the travel the world with a knapsack kind of gal. I love my family, but every single family outing, get together, every dinner, lunch, everything has to be 'family friendly' and kid-centric.

I can never get my sisters other than Serena (when she's even in town) to go to a movie, have lunch, sit and chat without it being all about the kids.

Even if the kids are having kid play time with each other and the adults are sitting around drinking coffee, the conversations are about the kids, kids are called over to talk to us, etc etc. Recently I asked my sister Julie to come with me to get our nails done and just have 'us' time.

She changed her mind last minute and said she was bringing her daughter as a 'bonding activity' We do nothing but bonding activities. And the same thing has happened time and again. Shopping? The kids NEED to come. Taking a hike? All on board!

I expressed my frustration and she acted like I was being super out of line, shocked and went on about how she can't imagine doing things without her mini me and that it was weird. It became a whole 'are you okay? are you SURE? are you depressed?' thing.

The requisite zoom family things were all about the kids with no adult time. So when we were talking about getting together for Easter, I thought hey, maybe they'll want to catch up!! I asked during a planning call, 'Do you think we can maybe just have some time for the adults when the kids are playing, so we can all catch up?'

My mom and sisters acted like it was the most ridiculous ask, Mom did the 'Are you okay?' and 'I can't imagine wanting to spend time with my family and exclude you girls from any part of it. That's not normal.'

I said that I really can't sit through another kid-centric get together and that if we aren't going to at least do something and sit and have cake and coffee together and catch up, just the family, then count me out.

Well, they went through with it and I ended up sending the girls over and staying home and having a great time just me and Serena. She said that she understands how I feel, and she stands with me, because they exclude her as well since she doesn't have kids and has been clear that she never will.

Of course she and I are being talked down to and told we're as*holes to treat family like that, that we should have all been together as a family, and that it's time to 'grow up' and accept that it'll never just be the sisters again. I cried about this a lot. Am I really wrong here? Is this normal and I just need to accept never seeing my other sisters one on one without their kids being the focus of everything?

Later, she edited the post to clarify:

I didn't ask for a kid-free Easter. At all. I asked for some time for the adults to drink coffee and catch up with each other while the kids were playing.

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say:

NTA (Not the As*hole). Being a parent is important, but so is nourishing all the parts of you that exist outside being a parent. - Lucyfirr

NTA you deserve (and need!) adult time with your family. It is not a ridiculous ask at all. - lotiloo

NTA. Like you, I adore my children, but I am my own person and need some adult & alone time. It sounds like your sister Serena gets left out a lot as she doesn’t have children and that’s really sad. - MamaofTwinDragons

NTA. It’s weird to never have adult conversations. The kids will be fine on their own for a few hours as long as they’re in the house/property. Also wanted to mention if everything is kid-centric you guys are actively excluding Serena which I think is the biggest problem - sensual_baboon

Definitely NTA. I find it disturbing when adults have no other aspect to their personality aside from being a parent. It is like their personal development stunted when they had children. I am a mom, a wife and a professional business woman. I cannot imagine abandoning any aspects of “me”. - Dark54g

So, there you have it!

Everyone agreed that this woman was not at all wrong to expect some adult-time with her family, especially if her child-free sister is constantly being excluded. Good luck, everyone!

Sources: Reddit
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