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<h2>Nothing like being forced to sleep in your childhood bedroom that your parents converted into a gym while your partner of three years who you currently live with has to sleep on the couch downstairs at the family holidays....</h2><p>While there&#39;s an understandable level of protection from parents concerning their child&#39;s romantic partners in high school or early adulthood, once your kid is almost thirty, it can be pretty ridiculous to enforce a &quot;can&#39;t share a bed until you&#39;re married&quot; house rule. Many people choose to never get married but still have a loving and supportive longterm partner, and not allowing two people who live together to share a bed just because they never had a big, white, expensive party is disrespectful to your adult children. Still, if religious reasons or family traditions prevent you from letting your adult child share a bedroom at your house despite the fact that they already have three kids and a dog together, the &quot;my house, my rules&quot; approach can be enforced if you wish. However, don&#39;t expect your kids to visit very often.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>So, when a frustrated mom decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit&#39;s &quot;Am I the As*hole&quot; about her mid-twenties daughter not being allowed to share a bed with her boyfriend under her roof, people were quick to deem a verdict.</p><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/mkp8hj/aita_for_not_allowing_my_daughter_to_sleep_in_the/">AITA </a>(Am I the As*hole) for not allowing my daughter to sleep in the same bed as her boyfriend?</h2><blockquote> <p>My daughter and her boyfriend celebrated Easter with us (me, my husband, and our son/her brother). I asked her boyfriend to stay in our guest room, as they aren&rsquo;t married yet and my husband and I believe it&rsquo;s inappropriate to share a bed before marriage. Neither her or her boyfriend said anything at the time, but later it came up that they don&rsquo;t visit more often because we won&rsquo;t &ldquo;allow&rdquo; them to sleep together.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>I think this is ridiculous. After all, it&rsquo;s our house and our rules. My daughter agreed, but then said she&rsquo;d still prefer to sleep with her boyfriend and thinks our rule is what&rsquo;s actually ridiculous. She then tried to tell us that they still respect our rule. I pointed out that she was clearly lying about that, since she was withholding her very presence from her own family.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>I said she was punishing us for having a very reasonable rule, and that she obviously doesn&rsquo;t truly respect &ldquo;our house, our rules&rdquo;. She changed the subject then. At the end of their trip I asked when the next we&rsquo;ll see them again, and was told &ldquo;maybe the 4th of July, unless [they] make plans with [boyfriend&rsquo;s] family first&rdquo;. When I pointed out she was still trying to punish us (who waits three months in between visits to their parents?), she just left.</p> <p>My husband feels that I&rsquo;m right and our daughter is being unspeakably rude, but my son thinks we&rsquo;re in the wrong and it&rsquo;s &ldquo;not a big deal&rdquo;.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p><strong>EDIT:</strong> She&rsquo;s 25 and he&rsquo;s 26. They&rsquo;ve been together for three years and living together for two. I didn&rsquo;t include this because the rule isn&rsquo;t based on their ages or if they&rsquo;re cohabiting, so I didn&rsquo;t think it was important. They will be allowed to share a bed under our roof once they&rsquo;re married and not a second sooner. Some people seem to think we&rsquo;re upset that she&rsquo;s choosing to stay in a hotel room instead of with us. This is not the case. She&rsquo;s choosing to avoid seeing us at all, instead of spending time with her family.</p> <p><strong>EDIT 2: </strong>A lot of people are under the impression that my daughter and her boyfriend visit every three months - this isn&rsquo;t the case at all. They usually only visit 2 or 3 times a year. I could understand before, with the pandemic, and before that they were in college, but we expected more frequent visits now that they&rsquo;re not as busy. Her brother manages to see us once a month, so we know it&rsquo;s not too unreasonable of an ask. But she certainly doesn&rsquo;t visit every three months. If she chooses not to come in July, we won&rsquo;t get to see her until October at the earliest.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>Here&#39;s what the jury of internet strangers had to say:</h2><blockquote> <p>YTA (You&#39;re the As*hole). They respect your rule. They just choose not to visit often because of the rule and don&#39;t agree with it. You are choosing your rule over them visiting. - sheramom4</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Their ages are 25 and 26 and they have been cohabitating partners for 3 years. For all intents and purposes, they live as a stable married couple. This is relevant to your story. Do you have the right to set such a rule for your household? Sure you do, no one is stopping you. But this rule infantilizes your adult daughter and trivialises her long-term relationship. This guy might be your son one day, why not treat him like family now? Also, 3 months in between parental visits is not a long time. For all these reasons you are the as*hole even though it is your house your rules. - RainbowDMacGyver</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>YTA, but for a specific reason. You can set whatever rules you want, but if they decide not to come because of those rules THEY ARE STILL RESPECTING THE RULES, and you are TA if you get mad about that.</p> <p>&quot;My house, my rules!&quot; &quot;OK, then, we won&#39;t come to your house because we don&#39;t like those rules. - havartna</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>YTA because they&#39;re right, it&#39;s not a reasonable rule. You can choose to enforce whatever rules you want, and they can choose not to come over because of it. She&#39;s not &quot;punishing&quot; you by not coming over, she just prefers to stay with in-laws who presumably respect that they&#39;re a couple and they&#39;re adults and thus can share a bed together. - independentask42</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Shes not &quot;withholding&quot; anything from you. She is going to the places she wants to go, because you aren&#39;t entitled to her. She is not punishing you or taking things from you. She is an adult human being going to the places where she is happy. This isn&#39;t <em>about</em> you, really. - Jazmadoodle</p> </blockquote><h2>So, there you have it!</h2><p>Everyone agreed that this mom was 100% in the wrong here, not necessarily for enforcing her archaic bed rule, but for still expecting her daughter to visit when she&#39;s addressed she doesn&#39;t like making her boyfriend sleep in a separate bed. Good luck, everyone!</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Mom asks if she’s wrong to make adult daughter and boyfriend sleep in separate beds.

Nothing like being forced to sleep in your childhood bedroom that your parents converted into a gym while your partner of three years who you currently live with has to sleep on the couch downstairs at the family holidays....While there&#39;s an understandable level of protection from parents concerning their child&#39;s romantic partners in high school or early adulthood, once your kid is almost thirty, it can be pretty ridiculous to enforce a &quot;can&#39;t share a bed until you&#39;re married&quot; house rule. Many people choose to never get married but still have a loving and supportive longterm partner, and not allowing two people who live together to share a bed just because they never had a big, white, expensive party is disrespectful to your adult children. Still, if religious reasons or family traditions prevent you from letting your adult child share a bedroom at your house despite the fact that they already have three kids and a dog together, the &quot;my house, my rules&quot; approach can be enforced if you wish. However, don&#39;t expect your kids to visit very often.So, when a frustrated mom decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit&#39;s &quot;Am I the As*hole&quot; about her mid-twenties daughter not being allowed to share a bed with her boyfriend under her roof, people were quick to deem a verdict.AITA (Am I the As*hole) for not allowing my daughter to sleep in the same bed as her boyfriend? My daughter and her boyfriend celebrated Easter with us (me, my husband, and our son/her brother). I asked her boyfriend to stay in our guest room, as they aren&rsquo;t married yet and my husband and I believe it&rsquo;s inappropriate to share a bed before marriage. Neither her or her boyfriend said anything at the time, but later it came up that they don&rsquo;t visit more often because we won&rsquo;t &ldquo;allow&rdquo; them to sleep together.   I think this is ridiculous. After all, it&rsquo;s our house and our rules. My daughter agreed, but then said she&rsquo;d still prefer to sleep with her boyfriend and thinks our rule is what&rsquo;s actually ridiculous. She then tried to tell us that they still respect our rule. I pointed out that she was clearly lying about that, since she was withholding her very presence from her own family.   I said she was punishing us for having a very reasonable rule, and that she obviously doesn&rsquo;t truly respect &ldquo;our house, our rules&rdquo;. She changed the subject then. At the end of their trip I asked when the next we&rsquo;ll see them again, and was told &ldquo;maybe the 4th of July, unless [they] make plans with [boyfriend&rsquo;s] family first&rdquo;. When I pointed out she was still trying to punish us (who waits three months in between visits to their parents?), she just left. My husband feels that I&rsquo;m right and our daughter is being unspeakably rude, but my son thinks we&rsquo;re in the wrong and it&rsquo;s &ldquo;not a big deal&rdquo;.   EDIT: She&rsquo;s 25 and he&rsquo;s 26. They&rsquo;ve been together for three years and living together for two. I didn&rsquo;t include this because the rule isn&rsquo;t based on their ages or if they&rsquo;re cohabiting, so I didn&rsquo;t think it was important. They will be allowed to share a bed under our roof once they&rsquo;re married and not a second sooner. Some people seem to think we&rsquo;re upset that she&rsquo;s choosing to stay in a hotel room instead of with us. This is not the case. She&rsquo;s choosing to avoid seeing us at all, instead of spending time with her family. EDIT 2: A lot of people are under the impression that my daughter and her boyfriend visit every three months - this isn&rsquo;t the case at all. They usually only visit 2 or 3 times a year. I could understand before, with the pandemic, and before that they were in college, but we expected more frequent visits now that they&rsquo;re not as busy. Her brother manages to see us once a month, so we know it&rsquo;s not too unreasonable of an ask. But she certainly doesn&rsquo;t visit every three months. If she chooses not to come in July, we won&rsquo;t get to see her until October at the earliest. Here&#39;s what the jury of internet strangers had to say: YTA (You&#39;re the As*hole). They respect your rule. They just choose not to visit often because of the rule and don&#39;t agree with it. You are choosing your rule over them visiting. - sheramom4  Their ages are 25 and 26 and they have been cohabitating partners for 3 years. For all intents and purposes, they live as a stable married couple. This is relevant to your story. Do you have the right to set such a rule for your household? Sure you do, no one is stopping you. But this rule infantilizes your adult daughter and trivialises her long-term relationship. This guy might be your son one day, why not treat him like family now? Also, 3 months in between parental visits is not a long time. For all these reasons you are the as*hole even though it is your house your rules. - RainbowDMacGyver  YTA, but for a specific reason. You can set whatever rules you want, but if they decide not to come because of those rules THEY ARE STILL RESPECTING THE RULES, and you are TA if you get mad about that. &quot;My house, my rules!&quot; &quot;OK, then, we won&#39;t come to your house because we don&#39;t like those rules. - havartna  YTA because they&#39;re right, it&#39;s not a reasonable rule. You can choose to enforce whatever rules you want, and they can choose not to come over because of it. She&#39;s not &quot;punishing&quot; you by not coming over, she just prefers to stay with in-laws who presumably respect that they&#39;re a couple and they&#39;re adults and thus can share a bed together. - independentask42  Shes not &quot;withholding&quot; anything from you. She is going to the places she wants to go, because you aren&#39;t entitled to her. She is not punishing you or taking things from you. She is an adult human being going to the places where she is happy. This isn&#39;t about you, really. - Jazmadoodle So, there you have it!Everyone agreed that this mom was 100% in the wrong here, not necessarily for enforcing her archaic bed rule, but for still expecting her daughter to visit when she&#39;s addressed she doesn&#39;t like making her boyfriend sleep in a separate bed. Good luck, everyone!

Nothing like being forced to sleep in your childhood bedroom that your parents converted into a gym while your partner of three years who you currently live with has to sleep on the couch downstairs at the family holidays....  While...