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<h2>Parenting is full of difficult decisions about what is and isn&#39;t age-appropriate, but sometimes being too strict can backfire...</h2><p>Children are naturally curious and learning and experimenting with the world around them is just part of growing up and developing interests and skills. Still, it&#39;s natural for parents to want to protect their kids from diving into anything too adult before they&#39;re fully ready. While clothes, makeup and fashion trends can be a big part of how young people express themselves and build an identity, does a five-year-old really need to be playing with mascara and lipstick? Where is the line between playing &quot;dress-up&quot; and potentially sending mixed messages about self-image or the value of beauty? Or, is it completely harmless for children to play with adult clothing and accessories as long as they&#39;re not rolling into kindergarten with fake lashes and a designer bag?</p><p>So, when a concerned mom decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit&#39;s &quot;Am I the As*hole&quot; about whether or not she was wrong to not allow her daughter to get a makeover at a party, people were quick to deem a verdict.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/mgjxvp/aita_for_not_allowing_my_daughter_to_get_a/">AITA</a> (Am I the As*hole) for not allowing my daughter to get a makeover at a birthday party?</h2><blockquote> <p>Because of actions my parents did when I was a kid I do not allow my daughter, Maisie (F5), to play with make-up. When I was a kid my parents fucked up my self confidence and self worth by convincing me the only way I&#39;d ever find love or success was if I was pretty. At 8 my mom started perming my hair. By 13 I was getting highlights. By 14 she was having my brows waxed. At 16 she convinced me I needed a nose job or the boys would never like me. Around 15 she was reminding me to wear lipstick and something pretty in case any boys saw me. For years I defined my own worth based on whether or not I was pretty. It took years to repair that damage. I swore I&#39;d never do that to my kids.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>Maisie&#39;s classmate &quot;Anna&quot; had her 5th birthday party and Maisie was invited. The party was dance-club themed but there were also activity stations set up as well. Build your own cupcake, make your own crayons, make your own clay sculpture, finger painting, etc, and one of the stations was profession party makeup. Anna&#39;s parents had hired three professional stylists to give the girls fun makeover and do things to their hair like temporary color dye and clip-in extensions for curls and such.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>My Maisie, while enjoying toys and clothes from both sections of the store, is mostly a girly-girl and she&#39;s always been curious about makeup. She sees those kid-friendly sets at the store or is sometimes gifted them by relatives and she wants to play with them but I don&#39;t allow it. When Maisie is a teenager she and I will discuss makeup and how to use it properly and when I believe she&#39;s mature enough to wear it and not let beauty define her I will let her wear it. And, once she&#39;s 18 she can do whatever she wants.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>The stylists required parental consent before doing anything so Maisie came and asked me if she could have her makeup done and her hair fixed. I said no and explained why. Maisie took it well and in a moment her favorite song came on and her friends took her away to dance and eventually the matter was forgotten. Maisie enjoyed the party and we went home happy.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>But, through the other parents, word got around that I refused to let Maisie get her makeup done and now the other parents are calling me some crazy helicopter mom who is trying to control her kids. Apparently they think that it was an as*hole move to make Maisie go without a makeover when most of the other girls (it was an all-girl party) had their makeup done.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>Now its gotten back to my husband and he said he agrees that Maisie doesn&#39;t need makeup every day but surely I could have let her wear it at the party and washed it off when the party ended. We didn&#39;t fight, but he told me that if he&#39;d been there he&#39;d have thought I was being controlling, too.</p> <p>Was I an as*hole for not letting Maisie get her makeup done?</p> </blockquote><h2>Here&#39;s what the jury of internet strangers had to say:</h2><blockquote> <p>This is a hard one to judge, because you are the parent and you know what is best for your child. However I do think YTA (You&#39;re the As*hole) very lightly. It&#39;s a one time thing, where she can go have fun doing all the things at a party. You can tell her that makeup is just for fun and that she absolutely does not need it to look or feel pretty. - immamoose-_-</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>YTA but honestly a lot of it is because of your residual trauma.</p> <p>A single case of a makeover will not impact your child the same way you were, especially if you re-enforce it with support and guidance as she grows up. Instead now you&#39;re harming her in another way. You are a loving and supportive parent so don&#39;t allow your trauma to become hereditary. - IllustriousComplex6</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>ESH (Everyone Sucks Here) except your husband and Maisie</p> <p>You made a valid parenting decision and it didn&rsquo;t seem to bother your daughter so the other parents should have minded their own business. You are going overboard in trying to do the opposite of what your parents did. Get off the wild pendulum swing and find a comfy spot in the middle. Teach your daughter that dressing up and putting on makeup is optional and she should do what makes her feel good. - ScubaCC</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>YTA. Wow. Stop projecting your own issues onto your daughter. - potentialsmbc2023</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>YTA. You&rsquo;ve allowed your past trauma to negatively affect your daughter. Makeup is not inherently evil and can be a fun experience for little girls (and boys). You can explain that makeup does not define her but still allow her to play with and use it. If she uses it and is still happy with herself, there is no harm. If you teach her now that makeup is evil and terrible, she may become confused and bitter as she matures into a young woman. - anarchyshift</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>YTA. You&#39;ve let an extreme and unhealthy situation from your own past shade how you view something that is not unhealthy and not bad. Now you are denying your daughter and in this situation you made her watch while all her friends were doing fun things that you wouldn&#39;t allow her to do. - Tinkerrific</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>So, there you have it!</h2><p>While most people understood why this mom was being extra protective, most people thought she was projecting her past trauma onto a one-time fun activity for her daughter at a birthday party, and perhaps the judgment from the other parents is justified. Good luck, everyone!</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Mom asks if she was wrong for not letting 5-year-old get makeover at party.

Parenting is full of difficult decisions about what is and isn&#39;t age-appropriate, but sometimes being too strict can backfire...Children are naturally curious and learning and experimenting with the world around them is just part of growing up and developing interests and skills. Still, it&#39;s natural for parents to want to protect their kids from diving into anything too adult before they&#39;re fully ready. While clothes, makeup and fashion trends can be a big part of how young people express themselves and build an identity, does a five-year-old really need to be playing with mascara and lipstick? Where is the line between playing &quot;dress-up&quot; and potentially sending mixed messages about self-image or the value of beauty? Or, is it completely harmless for children to play with adult clothing and accessories as long as they&#39;re not rolling into kindergarten with fake lashes and a designer bag?So, when a concerned mom decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit&#39;s &quot;Am I the As*hole&quot; about whether or not she was wrong to not allow her daughter to get a makeover at a party, people were quick to deem a verdict.AITA (Am I the As*hole) for not allowing my daughter to get a makeover at a birthday party? Because of actions my parents did when I was a kid I do not allow my daughter, Maisie (F5), to play with make-up. When I was a kid my parents fucked up my self confidence and self worth by convincing me the only way I&#39;d ever find love or success was if I was pretty. At 8 my mom started perming my hair. By 13 I was getting highlights. By 14 she was having my brows waxed. At 16 she convinced me I needed a nose job or the boys would never like me. Around 15 she was reminding me to wear lipstick and something pretty in case any boys saw me. For years I defined my own worth based on whether or not I was pretty. It took years to repair that damage. I swore I&#39;d never do that to my kids.   Maisie&#39;s classmate &quot;Anna&quot; had her 5th birthday party and Maisie was invited. The party was dance-club themed but there were also activity stations set up as well. Build your own cupcake, make your own crayons, make your own clay sculpture, finger painting, etc, and one of the stations was profession party makeup. Anna&#39;s parents had hired three professional stylists to give the girls fun makeover and do things to their hair like temporary color dye and clip-in extensions for curls and such.   My Maisie, while enjoying toys and clothes from both sections of the store, is mostly a girly-girl and she&#39;s always been curious about makeup. She sees those kid-friendly sets at the store or is sometimes gifted them by relatives and she wants to play with them but I don&#39;t allow it. When Maisie is a teenager she and I will discuss makeup and how to use it properly and when I believe she&#39;s mature enough to wear it and not let beauty define her I will let her wear it. And, once she&#39;s 18 she can do whatever she wants.   The stylists required parental consent before doing anything so Maisie came and asked me if she could have her makeup done and her hair fixed. I said no and explained why. Maisie took it well and in a moment her favorite song came on and her friends took her away to dance and eventually the matter was forgotten. Maisie enjoyed the party and we went home happy.   But, through the other parents, word got around that I refused to let Maisie get her makeup done and now the other parents are calling me some crazy helicopter mom who is trying to control her kids. Apparently they think that it was an as*hole move to make Maisie go without a makeover when most of the other girls (it was an all-girl party) had their makeup done.   Now its gotten back to my husband and he said he agrees that Maisie doesn&#39;t need makeup every day but surely I could have let her wear it at the party and washed it off when the party ended. We didn&#39;t fight, but he told me that if he&#39;d been there he&#39;d have thought I was being controlling, too. Was I an as*hole for not letting Maisie get her makeup done? Here&#39;s what the jury of internet strangers had to say: This is a hard one to judge, because you are the parent and you know what is best for your child. However I do think YTA (You&#39;re the As*hole) very lightly. It&#39;s a one time thing, where she can go have fun doing all the things at a party. You can tell her that makeup is just for fun and that she absolutely does not need it to look or feel pretty. - immamoose-_-  YTA but honestly a lot of it is because of your residual trauma. A single case of a makeover will not impact your child the same way you were, especially if you re-enforce it with support and guidance as she grows up. Instead now you&#39;re harming her in another way. You are a loving and supportive parent so don&#39;t allow your trauma to become hereditary. - IllustriousComplex6  ESH (Everyone Sucks Here) except your husband and Maisie You made a valid parenting decision and it didn&rsquo;t seem to bother your daughter so the other parents should have minded their own business. You are going overboard in trying to do the opposite of what your parents did. Get off the wild pendulum swing and find a comfy spot in the middle. Teach your daughter that dressing up and putting on makeup is optional and she should do what makes her feel good. - ScubaCC  YTA. Wow. Stop projecting your own issues onto your daughter. - potentialsmbc2023  YTA. You&rsquo;ve allowed your past trauma to negatively affect your daughter. Makeup is not inherently evil and can be a fun experience for little girls (and boys). You can explain that makeup does not define her but still allow her to play with and use it. If she uses it and is still happy with herself, there is no harm. If you teach her now that makeup is evil and terrible, she may become confused and bitter as she matures into a young woman. - anarchyshift  YTA. You&#39;ve let an extreme and unhealthy situation from your own past shade how you view something that is not unhealthy and not bad. Now you are denying your daughter and in this situation you made her watch while all her friends were doing fun things that you wouldn&#39;t allow her to do. - Tinkerrific So, there you have it!While most people understood why this mom was being extra protective, most people thought she was projecting her past trauma onto a one-time fun activity for her daughter at a birthday party, and perhaps the judgment from the other parents is justified. Good luck, everyone!

Parenting is full of difficult decisions about what is and isn&#39;t age-appropriate, but sometimes being too strict can backfire...  Children are naturally curious and learning and experimenting with the world around them is just part of...