Mom asks if she's wrong for refusing to thank husband for taking care of their baby.

Being a parent is a full time job...

If you're considering having a child, but you're only interested in working part time, it's probably best that you just sit this one out. If you're in a relationship, working with your partner to be the best team of parents you can be is critical and while it is fun, it can also be a bit of a messy challenge.

If you're a mom and you're the main caretaker of your children, having your husband watch the kids isn't 'babysitting,' it's just being a dad. Watching over children is hard, sticky, exhausting, and sometimes painful.

You get spit on, sneezed on, vomited on and you're forced to constantly prevent them from hurting themselves. If you have a mentally and physically taxing job, you come home to a different kind of mentally and physically taxing job.

So, when a recent Reddit user asked the moral compass of the internet's 'Am I the As*hole?' section, 'AITA for not thanking my husband for taking care of the baby?' people were ready to help.

AITA for not thanking my husband for taking care of the baby?

I'm on maternity leave. My husband works 4 10's. After work today I told him to feed the baby and distract him if he gets fussy so that I could have a chance to go through my clothes.

I'm returning to work soon and I still have some baby weight so I need to see if anything fits. I can technically do this while my husband is at work but the kiddo was really fussy and I was working through a new recipe so I didn't have the time.

Later on in the evening my husband made a comment about how he didn't get to rest after work and how I didn't even thank him for helping me out tonight. I got upset and said that spending time with his child is not a favor he's doing for me, it's just being a parent. He said that on the days he is working, the kiddo should be my responsibility since I'm on maternity leave and I have time to rest during the day.

I put in way more than 40 hours a week taking care of the baby and I even sleep in a separate room so the nightly feedings don't wake my husband up. I just get so sick of being 'on-call' all the time. Sometimes I just want to focus on a task for a few hours without having to drop everything to feed or play with the baby... I feel guilty for reacting so negatively now.

He really is the most amazing person and he works so hard to give us a great life. I make it a point to acknowledge the effort he puts in and thank him for everything he does which is why he made that comment about not thanking him for helping. AITA for expecting him to interact with the baby on some of the days he works and not seeing it as a favor he's doing for me?

'Dusty_Dinkelman' wrote:

Your husband should realize he’s the co-parent of the child. You asked for something pretty minuscule and he’ll have to get used to it for many years to come. I mean come on. There doesn’t need to be thanks. It’s implied that he’s helping and you can work on organizing your clothes.

'Silentboatman' wrote:

It takes two people to make a baby and a village to raise it. Op is def NTA (Not the As*hole) and husband needs to learn that taking care of his own child isn't deserving of a thank you. It's a bare minimum function. It's like fathers who say 'I'm babysitting' no you're not you're being a parent. TF is wrong with some people.

'adrionallama' wrote:

The other day my husband did the dishes and said to our son “look how I helped mommy with the dishes!” He genuinely thought he was modeling good behavior so our son would grow up to help with the chores.

I told him that was nice, but to be careful of implying that the chores are my job and that it’s something the other family members “help” with. As if they deserve praise every time they “help” me.

The funniest part about this exchange was that the dishes my husband “helped” me with was 100% his own mess.

'amazingmikenyc' wrote:

yeah you need to point out that caring for a little one is a full-time job too, and that you're as entitled to rest as much as him! When my wife was off on maternity I would take over when I got in from work - sometimes it was annoying because I was exhausted but often so was my wife so I sucked it up and usually enjoyed hanging with my son for an hour or 2.

Hopefully he is just ignorant and hasn't really thought about it properly. Does he have any manfriends who have had similar experiences who can sort him out (I say this because sometimes it is better to have such constructive criticism come from a 3rd party)

'findingreddit' wrote:

if he feels entitled to ‘time out’ after a certain amount of hours worked, then he can also schedule your ‘time out’ hours for the work you do. If he feels entitled be thanked for taking care of his child, then I sure hope he comes home and thanks you every single day for doing the same.

I’m sure he’s a lovely husband in most other ways & nobody is perfect. But you need to address this attitude now or it will forever be a cross you need to bear.

'chinatowngirl' wrote:

I think it's pretty rich that he clearly doesn't consider her being home all day taking care of their child as 'work', yet he thinks of it as work when he has to do it.

'Martian_Pudding' wrote:

So, there you have it! This mom is 100% not the as*hole in this situation and her husband is going to have to step up his dad game ASAP.