Mom defends sons after they prank stepsister's birthday cake.

There's a fine line between pulling off a funny and playful prank, and just being a straight-up jerk.

The only person who can truly be the 'decider' in these situations is the person being pranked. Regardless of the pranker's intention, if the recipient feels bullied or disrespected instead of teased, then it likely wasn't a good prank.

Of course, not everyone agrees on the right place and time for a prank, and arguments over this can be an endless circle.

In a recent post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for defending her sons after they pulled a prank on her stepdaughter.

She wrote:

AITA for telling my husband he exaggerated when he said my kids ruined his daughter's birthday?

Last week was my stepdaughter's (SD) 14th birthday. She was in the hospital days prior for a medical issue and now she's better. My husband threw her a small birthday party.

Unbeknownst to me, my boys (16) & (12) decided to pull a funny prank and mess with the birthday cake that they made for her. Instead of adding icing on the cake, they added mayonnaise.

It didn't go well and my SD's reaction was to cry. My husband blew up at the boys for what they did but they said they were just trying to prank her since it's the norm and they always prank each other.

My husband said it was the wrong time to do this on her birthday especially after getting out of the hospital. He told the boys they ruined her birthday but I told him he exaggerated with this statement.

He got upset and yelled at me for defending this behavior and being an enabler. I don't think I am, the boys love her that's why they act like this, but my husband was having none of it. Both he and SD aren't speaking to me nor the boys.

AITA for saying he exaggerated?

The internet quickly shared their thoughts.

cleanDice77 wrote:

Let me rephrase that: 'AITA for telling my husband he exaggerated for calling my boys bullies who ruined his recovering daughter's birthday?'

Duh...YTA. Times a million.

NeverIncorrectBanana wrote:

It is giving “boys will be boys” and “he only hits you cuz he likes you.' As a mom of 4 boys who also love to prank and razz each other for fun (we all do in our family) part of that whole thing is knowing when it is appropriate and when it isn’t.

You never go for hurtful. If they had made a cupcake with the prank and then surprise her with a proper cake that is one thing, but it was her birthday cake, they pranked her by ruining the one treat you should be able to count on every year.

YTA. If you don’t teach your boys the difference between a “prank” and “teasing” and abusive behavior and gaslighting (which you're doing to your husband and SD) not only are they in for a rude awakening in life, but you will have failed as a parent.

They pranked her, it went wrong, they need to apologize. Until you and they do, YTA.

tubesweaterguru wrote:

Unless there was a second cake with actual icing, that’s seriously not a prank. It’s just being an a**hole. And I don’t even like cake! YTA.

BlueRFR3100 wrote:

YTA. I would say that if the birthday girl is crying, that's a pretty clear sign that the birthday has been ruined. I notice that there is no mention of having a real cake ready to go as soon as the prank was revealed.

FoolMe1nceShameOnU wrote:

YTA

Let's be crystal clear:

'My boys (16) & (12) decided to pull a funny prank and mess with the birthday cake that they made for her. Instead of adding icing on the cake, they added mayonnaise.'

Your stepdaughter was just sick enough to be in the hospital. She came home, probably still not feeling great, and definitely vulnerable.

It was her BIRTHDAY, a day she should have been made to feel BETTER THAN USUAL, loved and happy, and your sons decided to RUIN HER BIRTHDAY CAKE. Explain to me what about that is funny, exactly?

'It didn't go well and my SD's reaction was to cry. My husband blew up at the boys for what they did but they said they were just trying to prank her since it's the norm and they always prank each others.'

'It's the norm' for your sons to make your stepdaughter cry? Or you're so delusional that you think it's normal for people to do sh**ty things to their family members on their special occasions?

Or do you think that 'pranks' in the form of doing sh***y things to people you're supposed to love is 'the norm' just in general? Please...I'm dying to hear which of these options you think is the defensible one.

Furthermore, do you genuinely not get the fact that your sons enjoy pranking EACH OTHER?

Something that they both apparently consent to and do as a MUTUAL entertainment, does not make it even a little bit okay to do those things to other people who haven't consented to be a part of their nonsense and don't enjoy it?

'My husband said it was the wrong time to do this on her birthday especially after getting out of the hospital. He told the boys they ruined her birthday but I told him he exaggerated with this statement.'

How did he exaggerate? In the most literal, bare bones description of the situation, they ruined her birthday cake at a special occasion meant to cheer her up right after she got out of the hospital, and upset her so badly that she cried.

How much worse would you need it to be to acknowledge that they ruined her birthday? 'The boys love her that's why they act like this.'

Wow. WOW. Did you actually just claim that your boys RUINED HER BIRTHDAY CAKE AND MADE HER CRY because...they LOVE her? Do you also think that hitting people is an expression of love?

Calling them ugly names? Like, how exactly do you decide what kind of bullying, cruel behaviour is 'an act of love'? What's the criteria? Does it have to full-on cause tears, or just destroy something the person was looking forward to?

YTA, and so are your sons, but they've clearly learned this ugly, disgusting behaviour from you, a mother who has taught them to express love through acts of destruction and cruelty. Y'all need therapy, and to leave your poor husband and his daughter alone.

000-Hotaru_Tomoe wrote:

If your boys thought their prank was so funny, I hope they ate the whole mayonnaise cake. YTA and your husband is right: you enabled a wrong behaviour.

Dittoheadforever wrote:

YTA. Good grief, she just got out of the hospital and they ruined her birthday cake and you're trying to pass it off as a harmless prank. She is owed an apology.

Clearly, OP needed a big wake up call, and the internet was ready to give it to her.