News

<p>Having a brand new baby is exciting! After months of growing this little bugger in your stomach, they have finally made their way into the outside world, and you can hear and behold both their cuteness and their screams.</p><p>It&#39;s fairly common for friends and family members to want to immediately gather around and coo over the new child, and in theory that is sweet and supportive. However, for the mother who just endured the greatest pain of her life, sleeplessness, and a variety of bodily fluids, being surrounded by visitors isn&#39;t always the ideal during the day after birth.</p><h2>The blogger Katie Bowman&#39;s recent post about the struggles of hosting visitors after birth quickly went viral for just how relatable it was.</h2><p> </p><div class="oembedall-container sec-iframe sec-oembed-iframe"><div class="fb-post" data-href="https://www.facebook.com/livingmyfamilylife/posts/156162642406429?__xts__%5B0%5D=68.ARAoNBKMT-Xt1i0waeWagx3ZlZzUzqy0MQW7buoQUez1FLr3lwePVoB9eYQNTLZhm6fgWjWTNW1oGMclGpHAkttREubpx28bLwfr_dIaqqftqoBA6xl_nTqdfalSBckcDyogdL3kkbsptdjT-6b55VyIJB3NX9YPznkX_bBkCRKAFGy69r8F-F7OkAnwal1oHwq-NO7kz5VXdkXRwGvlIj9LQOrhagfpzqSnH5nwBi21lnUGSANJHDp_L_AEB01WeZ5_0YQJJxv4b9xnhd20RFa97DJnnwcRkRt3VPH1uqwqhoRq7lMdFvgqjJWtgHmf-Gj_2Bk5e0oBqIkJIDHTWkw&amp;amp%3B__tn__=K-R" data-width="552"><blockquote cite="https://graph.facebook.com/106948317327862/posts/156162642406429/" class="fb-xfbml-parse-ignore"><p>A picture really is worth 1000 words. This is me, roughly 24 hours after giving birth to my eldest. I have no idea who...</p>Posted by <a href="https://www.facebook.com/livingmyfamilylife">Katie B.</a> on <a href="https://graph.facebook.com/106948317327862/posts/156162642406429/">Tuesday, December 3, 2019</a></blockquote></div></div><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>She wrote:</p><blockquote> <p>A picture really is worth 1000 words.</p> <p>This is me, roughly 24 hours after giving birth to my eldest. I have no idea who took the picture, but you can probably already tell how I feel just by looking at it.</p> </blockquote><h2>The popular post on Bowman&#39;s <a href="https://www.facebook.com/livingmyfamilylife/posts/156162642406429?__tn__=K-R" target="_blank">Living My Family Life</a> page laid out just how hard it is to function right after birth, and that even the most well-meaning guests can feel crowded and overwhelming.</h2><blockquote> <p>1 or 2 days. Is that too much to ask for?<br /> 1 or 2 days for a new mum to come to terms with the fact she had a tiny human emerge from her body. 1 or 2 days for her to finally have a shower and wash the sweat and blood from her body. 1 or 2 days for her to push through the pain of her sore nipples as she learns to breastfeed. 1 or 2 days for her to try to have some sleep because she is absolutely exhausted.</p> </blockquote><h2>While Bowman fully understands (and appreciates) why people want to meet newborns ASAP, she suggested excited loved ones wait at least a few days before pushing for a visit.</h2><blockquote> <p>Before being introduced to your new life as a mother, you have just gone through one of the most painful, exhausting, and mind blowing experiences in your life. Labour. Has everyone forgotten how tolling that can be on both your emotional and physical well being? The last thing you then want, is for everyone to be bombarding your room to play pass the parcel, before you have even had a chance to recover.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>Even the most social of mothers is likely to be dealing with a huge amount of pain and physical discomfort, so even if she&#39;s feeling excited to show off her fresh baby, her body might have other plans.</h2><blockquote> <p>Learning to breastfeed is no private affair. You don&rsquo;t just slip your nipple out and your baby connects to it like a magnet. You get your whole boob out, and slide your baby up and down waiting for them to latch on. The nurse comes in and helps you massage some colostrum out. Then you try the other side, so now you&rsquo;ve got both boobs out.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Your vagina or stomach is in a world of pain. More often than not, there&rsquo;s been a cut somewhere. You struggle to get comfortable in that hard hospital bed, because no position feels ok. You can barely sit, stand, lie down, or walk. Honestly, my vagina still hurt for 2 or 3 weeks after that. The hospital doesn&rsquo;t like you to leave until they know you have emptied your bowels without your vagina falling out too. When do you fit in trying to pass that painful lump when your room is full of visitors?</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>To add to that, visitors often want to take photos with the baby, which can upset the baby&#39;s sleep schedule and place the mother smack dab in the middle of a photo-shoot while feeling like a sleep-deprived sloth.</h2><blockquote> <p>Everyone is so excited to have a photo with the new baby, the new mum doesn&rsquo;t get a photo with her own damn baby! I had to ask for a photo with mine, other than that one photo, the only others I have are of her fresh out of my uterus, with us laying there naked and covered in blood. Thank you to the saintly midwife who was kind enough to grab my phone and capture the most precious photos that exist to me. From there on, it&rsquo;s mostly selfies.</p> </blockquote><h2>Even with the physical pain, shock of birth, and photo aspect aside, there are people who make unwarranted comments about how a new mother looks.</h2><blockquote> <p>Everyone wants the bragging rights to say they saw the new baby within 24 hours. They simply must satisfy their need to hold this new baby. If you don&rsquo;t allow them to come visit you in the hospital, you&rsquo;re a selfish, delicate, drama queen. Then people come in with their comments of &ldquo;now you only look 4 months pregnant instead of 9&rdquo; or &ldquo;you look tired&rdquo; I&rsquo;m sorry, but in what world is it ok for you to comment on a new mother&rsquo;s appearance? WE ARE SO BLOODY FRAGILE RIGHT NOW! If my vagina wasn&rsquo;t so sore, I might have pulled some Kung Fu Panda on your ass.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>Bowman finished the post by clarifying that she knows there are people who want a slew of visitors right away, and this post isn&#39;t about them: it&#39;s about mothers who politely ask for a day or two and are pressured nonetheless.</h2><blockquote> <p>Sure, some people can&rsquo;t wait to have visitors. That&rsquo;s not what this is about. This is about people who have tried to ask visitors to wait a day or 2, but been made to feel like they told them they can&rsquo;t be in the baby&rsquo;s life. I feel so loved that everyone couldn&rsquo;t wait to meet our new baby, and so happy that everyone wanted to be part of our baby&rsquo;s life. What I didn&rsquo;t realize was how hard trying to ask people to stay away for a day would be. &ldquo;It&rsquo;ll just be a quick visit.&rdquo; You&rsquo;re too tired to argue, so you sit and wait for them to get their baby fix.</p> </blockquote><h2>In closing, Bowman wrote, the most crucial way to support a new mother is by listening to her and respecting her boundaries, even if it means holding off a few extra days.</h2><blockquote> <p>The next time someone you know has a baby, remember how tired this new mother looks. I know you are excited, but remember it is not your right to visit a new baby, it is a privilege. If that offends you, go home and put it in your burn book.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>The post quickly went viral, and ushered in a flood of comments from mothers with similar frustrations and stories.</h2><p>Some of them have family members who blew the need for boundaries out of proportion.</p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="Facebook" data-attribution-url="https://www.facebook.com/livingmyfamilylife/posts/156162642406429?__tn__=K-R" height="262" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/grandma-PfLwQv.jpg" width="700" /></div> <figcaption></figcaption> <div class="image-attribution"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/livingmyfamilylife/posts/156162642406429?__tn__=K-R">Facebook</a></div></figure><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>While others needed extra rest after particularly physically stressful birthing processes.</h2><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="Facebook" data-attribution-url="https://www.facebook.com/livingmyfamilylife/posts/156162642406429?__tn__=K-R" height="277" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/babes-LuC572.jpg" width="700" /></div> <figcaption></figcaption> <div class="image-attribution"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/livingmyfamilylife/posts/156162642406429?__tn__=K-R">Facebook</a></div></figure><div className="ad-splitter"></div><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="Facebook" data-attribution-url="https://www.facebook.com/livingmyfamilylife/posts/156162642406429?__tn__=K-R" height="964" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/babee-JFG6gz.jpg" width="700" /></div> <figcaption></figcaption> <div class="image-attribution"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/livingmyfamilylife/posts/156162642406429?__tn__=K-R">Facebook</a></div></figure><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>Others felt strange about the pressure to allow people into the room during the very act of labor.</h2><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="Facebook" data-attribution-url="https://www.facebook.com/livingmyfamilylife/posts/156162642406429?__tn__=K-R" height="190" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/labor-DXtWhs.jpg" width="700" /></div> <figcaption></figcaption> <div class="image-attribution"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/livingmyfamilylife/posts/156162642406429?__tn__=K-R">Facebook</a></div></figure><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>Basedo n the amount of responses and shares Bowman&#39;s post received, it&#39;s clear this is a big issue that&#39;s not often talked about in a public forum. Hopefully, this discussion will encourage more women to set their own boundaries, while teaching others why backing off can be the most loving move right after a friend has given birth.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

People react to new-mom's post about 'non-stop' visits while giving birth.

Having a brand new baby is exciting! After months of growing this little bugger in your stomach, they have finally made their way into the outside world, and you can hear and behold both their cuteness and their screams.It&#39;s fairly common for friends and family members to want to immediately gather around and coo over the new child, and in theory that is sweet and supportive. However, for the mother who just endured the greatest pain of her life, sleeplessness, and a variety of bodily fluids, being surrounded by visitors isn&#39;t always the ideal during the day after birth.The blogger Katie Bowman&#39;s recent post about the struggles of hosting visitors after birth quickly went viral for just how relatable it was. A picture really is worth 1000 words. This is me, roughly 24 hours after giving birth to my eldest. I have no idea who...Posted by Katie B. on Tuesday, December 3, 2019She wrote: A picture really is worth 1000 words. This is me, roughly 24 hours after giving birth to my eldest. I have no idea who took the picture, but you can probably already tell how I feel just by looking at it. The popular post on Bowman&#39;s Living My Family Life page laid out just how hard it is to function right after birth, and that even the most well-meaning guests can feel crowded and overwhelming. 1 or 2 days. Is that too much to ask for? 1 or 2 days for a new mum to come to terms with the fact she had a tiny human emerge from her body. 1 or 2 days for her to finally have a shower and wash the sweat and blood from her body. 1 or 2 days for her to push through the pain of her sore nipples as she learns to breastfeed. 1 or 2 days for her to try to have some sleep because she is absolutely exhausted. While Bowman fully understands (and appreciates) why people want to meet newborns ASAP, she suggested excited loved ones wait at least a few days before pushing for a visit. Before being introduced to your new life as a mother, you have just gone through one of the most painful, exhausting, and mind blowing experiences in your life. Labour. Has everyone forgotten how tolling that can be on both your emotional and physical well being? The last thing you then want, is for everyone to be bombarding your room to play pass the parcel, before you have even had a chance to recover. Even the most social of mothers is likely to be dealing with a huge amount of pain and physical discomfort, so even if she&#39;s feeling excited to show off her fresh baby, her body might have other plans. Learning to breastfeed is no private affair. You don&rsquo;t just slip your nipple out and your baby connects to it like a magnet. You get your whole boob out, and slide your baby up and down waiting for them to latch on. The nurse comes in and helps you massage some colostrum out. Then you try the other side, so now you&rsquo;ve got both boobs out.  Your vagina or stomach is in a world of pain. More often than not, there&rsquo;s been a cut somewhere. You struggle to get comfortable in that hard hospital bed, because no position feels ok. You can barely sit, stand, lie down, or walk. Honestly, my vagina still hurt for 2 or 3 weeks after that. The hospital doesn&rsquo;t like you to leave until they know you have emptied your bowels without your vagina falling out too. When do you fit in trying to pass that painful lump when your room is full of visitors? To add to that, visitors often want to take photos with the baby, which can upset the baby&#39;s sleep schedule and place the mother smack dab in the middle of a photo-shoot while feeling like a sleep-deprived sloth. Everyone is so excited to have a photo with the new baby, the new mum doesn&rsquo;t get a photo with her own damn baby! I had to ask for a photo with mine, other than that one photo, the only others I have are of her fresh out of my uterus, with us laying there naked and covered in blood. Thank you to the saintly midwife who was kind enough to grab my phone and capture the most precious photos that exist to me. From there on, it&rsquo;s mostly selfies. Even with the physical pain, shock of birth, and photo aspect aside, there are people who make unwarranted comments about how a new mother looks. Everyone wants the bragging rights to say they saw the new baby within 24 hours. They simply must satisfy their need to hold this new baby. If you don&rsquo;t allow them to come visit you in the hospital, you&rsquo;re a selfish, delicate, drama queen. Then people come in with their comments of &ldquo;now you only look 4 months pregnant instead of 9&rdquo; or &ldquo;you look tired&rdquo; I&rsquo;m sorry, but in what world is it ok for you to comment on a new mother&rsquo;s appearance? WE ARE SO BLOODY FRAGILE RIGHT NOW! If my vagina wasn&rsquo;t so sore, I might have pulled some Kung Fu Panda on your ass. Bowman finished the post by clarifying that she knows there are people who want a slew of visitors right away, and this post isn&#39;t about them: it&#39;s about mothers who politely ask for a day or two and are pressured nonetheless. Sure, some people can&rsquo;t wait to have visitors. That&rsquo;s not what this is about. This is about people who have tried to ask visitors to wait a day or 2, but been made to feel like they told them they can&rsquo;t be in the baby&rsquo;s life. I feel so loved that everyone couldn&rsquo;t wait to meet our new baby, and so happy that everyone wanted to be part of our baby&rsquo;s life. What I didn&rsquo;t realize was how hard trying to ask people to stay away for a day would be. &ldquo;It&rsquo;ll just be a quick visit.&rdquo; You&rsquo;re too tired to argue, so you sit and wait for them to get their baby fix. In closing, Bowman wrote, the most crucial way to support a new mother is by listening to her and respecting her boundaries, even if it means holding off a few extra days. The next time someone you know has a baby, remember how tired this new mother looks. I know you are excited, but remember it is not your right to visit a new baby, it is a privilege. If that offends you, go home and put it in your burn book. The post quickly went viral, and ushered in a flood of comments from mothers with similar frustrations and stories.Some of them have family members who blew the need for boundaries out of proportion.  FacebookWhile others needed extra rest after particularly physically stressful birthing processes.  Facebook  FacebookOthers felt strange about the pressure to allow people into the room during the very act of labor.  FacebookBasedo n the amount of responses and shares Bowman&#39;s post received, it&#39;s clear this is a big issue that&#39;s not often talked about in a public forum. Hopefully, this discussion will encourage more women to set their own boundaries, while teaching others why backing off can be the most loving move right after a friend has given birth.