Pretty much everyone and their mother love food. If you don't love food, I'm deeply sorry about whatever villain previously poisoned the glorious experience for you.
Sadly though, despite a universal love of food, a LOT of people are bad at eating out. Some of them are stingy about tips, while others have ridiculous demands, and of course, there are the people who make messes fitting for a Godzilla-sized baby.
The task of quantifying the worst restaurant customers is near impossible, so I have resorted to photo evidence to narrow down some of the worst customers out there prowling for food.
1. The customer who makes puns instead of leaving servers money.
Every server has been inundated with an endless amount of dumb "jokes" that start with "HERE'S A TIP." Customers who take it to the next level by leaving notes instead of money should be legally barred from leaving their apartments, ever.
2. The customer with 18 replacements.
At this point it's better to just go to a salad bar or admit your fate and stay at home where you can shred every ingredient into the precise shape you require.
3. The customer who places their very precarious life in your hands.
Obviously, you can't help it if you have an allergy. Letting a kitchen know that you're allergic to tomatoes or lactose intolerant is completely reasonable. But if you have more than a page of food allergies it's safest to pack a lunch.
4. The hangry repeater.
Clarity is key when you're ordering food, but repeating the same sides on an order three times is obnoxious and might signal a deeper issue.
5. People who use God as an excuse for their cheapness.
Using God as an excuse for being a cheap bastard is NOT one of the ten commandments, and this note is passive aggressive as all hellfire.
6. The customer who fakes out their server with a sneaky tract.
Leaving FAKE MONEY is a heiness act, I consider this a hate crime against service workers.
7. Customers who don't know how to use a toilet as adults.
Besides being a total move for the environment, I just don't even understand how this happens in the first place?! If you're not potty-trained as an adult, you need a guardian to help you navigate restaurant restrooms.
8. Customers who make shitty trash art.
It might conceptually look cute (in this case it really doesn't), but it's a complete pain for the server to clean up.
9. The table that gets eight checks.
This is truly a collaboration from hell. Splitting it three ways is reasonable, splitting it more than four ways is an assault on the restaurant POS system. Just find an ATM and settle it like adults.
10. Tipping with pennies, in general.
This particular example is creative, which makes it more annoying because the person had some self-awareness but just not enough.
11. The person who dredges up their financial woes.
While most servers can empathize with the concept of being broke, expecting them to accept that as an excuse for short-changing them is ridiculous.
12. The douchewads who blame the server for bad.
SERVERS DON'T MAKE THE FOOD! Punishing servers for the quality of the food is like blaming an MTA worker for the whole train's infrastructure, they're just the service provider.
13. Customers who literally call servers "satan."
THIS IS NOT FUNNY OR OKAY ON ANY LEVEL.
14. Customers who say "nah" to tipping.
You shouldn't be allowed to call someone fam if you're going to fuck them over like this.
15. This guy who wrote the total as "penis."
This man shouldn't be allowed to eat in public or graduate from the third grade.