While advertisements show visions of cheery-eyed families bathing in pools of ornaments and festive cheer, not everyone loves the holidays, especially Christmas. Whether you celebrate Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, identify as atheist, or celebrate Christmas begrudging, the pressure of family time and massive festivity can be enough to make you dream of running away. And that is exactly what Stormy the Cow did.
On Thursday morning, the Philadelphia-based cow affectionately named Stormy escaped a live nativity scene not once, but TWICE.
Yessss girl, get your freedom. I highly doubt that anyone sat down with her and asked if she's religious. For all they know, she doesn't identify with baby Jesus and felt TRAPPED as a living symbol in this religious mirage.
Because Stormy is a swift escape artist who runs and never looks back, Philly cops were forced to warn people about the possible traffic delays due to the cow on the loose.
Again, they had to warn people not once but TWICE.
While Stormy successfully sent cops on the ultimate chase TWICE, she was (unfortunately) eventually apprehended on the fourth floor of a garage parking lot.
How did she walk up those stairs?! Stormy must be doing squats. Hopefully the church got the message and won't force her to be in their captive pageant anymore.
While the ordeal was likely a pain for the Philly cops, they took the opportunity to riff on Twitter about the absurd chase scene.
Meanwhile, other people on Twitter were rooting for Stormy's freedom.
How could you not?! She was so utterly (I'M SORRY) determined to escape.
If she escapes a third time, I think we can expect a #FreeStormy hashtag to explode.