Finding out your partner cheated on you is never an easy pill to swallow, and navigating the fall out is even more complicated when you're married with kids.
To add to that, the current pandemic makes moving or divorcing someone more of a logistical undertaking, and that's just the cherry on top of all of the difficult feelings.
Needless to say, finding out your partner cheated on you while you were pregnant during a pandemic is horrible enough as is, but if you add a child from the other woman into the picture - it's a verified nightmare.
AITA for not wanting to accept my husband’s affair child?
My husband and I have been married for 7 years...happily I thought. We have two girls 5, 4 and two boys 2 and unborn. He’s due any day. I lost my job back in March due to the pandemic and it’s been so nice being a stay at home mom to the kids.
To make matters more complicated, the woman he cheated with had his baby two months ago and was recently arrested - which puts him first in line for custody.
Our 4th child is due any day now and about two days ago I received a bombshell...my husband had an affair. It broke me to the core. He is the love of my life, then he hit me with the second part of the news they had a baby about a month ago he’s about two months early and in intensive care and his mother is an addict and was arrested and they want custody to go to my husband.
His side of the family is pressuring her, claiming it's monstrous to even consider not accepting this baby. But for OP, this is all still a huge bombshell.
He told me I let myself go all these months and that it was a moment of weakness. He’s telling me that we could still be a happy family and that his baby needs a father. AITA for not wanting any of this? His side of the family is calling me a monster for turning away a child in need. I feel like I’m living a nightmare.
NTA. Either seek marriage counseling or file for divorce. Your husband doesn't get to use his love child to guilt you into accepting his philandering.
I personally think there is no win for OP. It's the best for her to tell her husband to piss off forever
Let's imagine for a second,
A) He doesn't accept the child and send him somewhere, say his parents or the mistress's parents. Would you like to be with a guy who doesn't care for his son? Someone who is willing to sacrifice the child for his own happiness?
B) He convinces you to accept the child. Can you really deal with a child without any resentment? Can you guarantee that you under no circumstances will have any bias or ill-feeling toward this child?
NTA. Get yourself in for a STD test ASAP - addicts are not known for being careful with their sexual health and obviously he was fucking her with no condom.
After that, call a divorce attorney to find out what your options are and, if possible, move in with family until after you give birth and recover somewhat - you don't have to make any legal decisions immediately (I personally think divorce is the best thing for you and your kids.
He cheated, blamed you for 'letting yourself go' and wants to stick you with raising his cheat-baby - he has no remorse for what he did or what it will do to your family, but you do have time to think). Get some counseling for yourself, too.
Because if you choose to accept this kid, you should never under any situation make this child feel like you are doing a favour.
You need to leave is the answer. Pack your kids and go. He doesn’t get to act happy when he’s blaming you for his affair. If he wasn’t happy with you it was simple, tell you or leave. Not f*ck someone else.
Woah woah hold the effing door before we slam it in his face YOU LET YOURSELF GO, HES BLAMING YOU FOR BEING A LYING CHEATING SACK OF 💩
His family can take care of him and his child in need of they’re so fricken concerned.
NTA For not wanting to accept the child. This is a horrible thing to happen, but I’m not sure how you can avoid accepting the kid while staying married to your husband. Are you suggesting that your husband put the baby up for adoption?
Because, he’s at least going to be legally responsible for the baby and he’s morally responsible as well. There doesn’t seem to be a universe where your husband stays your husband and the baby isn’t a big part of your life one way or another. It’s horrible, but this is what your husband has done.
Does your husband’s family live nearby? Could they help take care of the baby while you figure out what you want to do? It sounds like you need time and quiet to decide what you want to do. I’m so sorry you’re facing this.
BTW, the fact that your husband is asking you to take care of a newborn baby born of his affair while you’re pregnant and tried to blame you for the affair makes him sound less like someone worthy of being “the love of your life” and more like a “selfish jerk.”
It's abundantly clear that strangers across the world believe OP deserves better than her cheating husband, hopefully, she is able to see that as well.