Lo and behold! Sixty-eight days after he delivered his report to the Attorney General, Special Counsel Robert S. Mueller III has emerged from the shadows to introduce the world to what his voice sounds like.
His voice sounds like that of an aggravated professor begging his class to DO THE DAMN READING. Mueller took to the podium to officially resign from his role of special counsel now that the report has been written, and to highlight the conclusions in said report.
The former FBI director stated that Trump is not NOT a criminal, explaining that the only reason why his office didn't consider charges was because of a longstanding Department of Justice decision that a sitting president can't be indicted. That's a far cry from Trump's (and his handpicked Attorney General with coverups on his resume) insistence that Mueller's report is a "complete and total exoneration."