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<p>There&#39;s still a lot of stigma around addiction, and because of this, a lot of people don&#39;t understand how to best support their loved ones. While this applies to all addictions, the stakes raised when it comes to hard drugs like heroin, since a <a href="https://www.addictioncenter.com/addiction/addiction-statistics/" target="_blank">lower percentage of the general population</a> has personal experience with the drug, and it has a <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/philip-seymour-hoffman-overdose-2014-2">higher death rate upon relapse</a> than alcohol or other drugs.</p><p>That being said, one of the worst ways to express &quot;support&quot; for someone fighting addiction is by gossiping, making unsubstantiated accusations, and not believing them about their own recovery process.</p><h2>In a recent post on <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cb10pv/aita_for_yelling_at_my_sister_in_law/" target="_blank">the subreddit Am I The Asshole</a>, an ex-heroin addict shared how they finally lost their temper with their sister-in-law after dealing with false relapse accusations.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;Context here: I&#39;m an ex heroin addict. The why and how isn&#39;t important, but I got hooked at 15, tried to get clean at 17 but relapsed hard, finally got my act together and got off it for good at 21. I&#39;m 26 now and completely clean. I don&#39;t even drink, except for on special occasions where I&#39;ll have two or three drinks at most.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>OP started the post by sharing they&#39;ve been clean from heroin for six years after one final, scary relapse years back.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;Now, my older brother and his wife have been together since shortly before I had my bad relapse, and she&#39;s convinced that I&#39;m just a ticking time bomb waiting to relapse again. The first year or so, I understood her concerns and she wasn&#39;t the only person who had them. However, it&#39;s been almost six years since I was anywhere near the stuff and she <em>still</em> won&#39;t have that I&#39;m gonna stay clean.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>OP&#39;s sister-in-law married their brother right before the final relapse, and has treated OP like a ticking time bomb ever since.</h2><p>For the first year, OP understood, particularly since other people were also keeping close watch. But now that it&#39;s been years, it feels pointed, condescending and personal.</p><blockquote> <p>&quot;She&#39;s very vocal about these concerns, too. If I get sick, she tells our entire family that she thinks I&#39;ve relapsed again and I&#39;m having withdrawals. She made a huge scene on Christmas day two years ago because I had a cold and was a bit sniffly and she decided that I must have been doing a ton of coke. If anything goes missing from any of the family&#39;s houses, she accuses me of having stolen it for drug money. I mostly just grin and bear it so as not to make waves, but recently she took it a step too far.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>To make matters worse, OP&#39;s sister-in-law is very outspoken about her concerns and freaks out every time OP is mildly sick, claiming it&#39;s a withdrawal or relapse.</h2><p>She also accuses OP of stealing any time something goes missing during a family event.</p><blockquote> <p>&quot;I went away recently with some friends. On the first day of my trip, I dropped and broke my phone. Because she and my brother were unable to get ahold of me for a few days, she became convinced I had gone on a massive dope bender, and began telling my family and friends that she knew this to be the case.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>The dynamic came to a climax when OP&#39;s phone broke during a recent trip with some friends.</h2><p>This caused the sister-in-law to tailspin, she immediately assumed the inability to call or text meant OP was off on a massive bender.</p><blockquote> <p>&quot;When I got home, I found myself being given an intervention and told how disappointed people were. It was kinda the straw that broke the camel&#39;s back, and I sort of flipped at my sister in law. I yelled at her, asking why the fuck she doesn&#39;t trust me and why she&#39;s so hellbent on undermining my success and believing that I&#39;m incapable of staying clean.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>When OP got home from the trip, the sister-in-law had gathered the entire family for an &quot;intervention&quot; despite the fact that OP was still clean. This was the last straw.</h2><p>OP understandably called their sister-in-law out for not trusting them, and undermining the past six years of consistency.</p><blockquote> <p>&quot;She got upset and told me she was only concerned for my wellbeing, but I said imo that&#39;s bullshit; at this point it&#39;s absolutely about her not having faith in me and if she feels that way she should stay the fuck out of my business. At that point she started crying and she and my brother left. I&#39;m being told left and right that I&#39;m an asshole and ungrateful because she&#39;s only looking out for me and I need to apologise, but I&#39;m still upset that she evidently believes I&#39;m incapable of doing this. AITA?&quot;</p> </blockquote><p>OP&#39;s sister-in-law immediately started crying when she got called out, and now several family members are claiming OP should apologize. But for OP, the sister-in-law&#39;s actions don&#39;t feel like loving concern so much as judgment and a lack of faith.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/ncole90/">ncole90</a> thinks OP is completely reasonable and that the sister-in-law is being manipulative.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;NTA. Not only do you have to keep a straight head because you&rsquo;re being mindful that you did in fact have a drug problem before, but you also have to deal with someone constantly accusing you of something you worked so hard to overcome? You have every right to be angry and annoyed.&quot;</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>&quot;Also I don&rsquo;t think she doesn&rsquo;t trust you; I think she likes to be the center of attention and wants you to fail so she can say I told you so&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/alisha1017/">alisha1017</a> agrees that the sister-in-law is in the wrong here, and making it about herself.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;NTA. I&rsquo;m late to the party but I came to say this exactly. This isn&rsquo;t about him relapsing, this is about her need to siphon attention via him possibly relapsing someday. She gets to look like she cares by creating worry and fear from the people who actually do care about the OP. She&rsquo;s 100% the asshole here.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/kearacollom/">kearacollom</a> thinks OP owes it to themselves to stay away from the toxic sister-in-law.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;NTA -Your SIL needs to reevaluate her feelings towards you, and keep her trap shut. There&rsquo;s absolutely no reason to try to undermine you and put your own family against you.&quot;</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>&quot;I&rsquo;m so proud of you for getting and staying clean, I know it&rsquo;s hard on a person to stay in recovery. Keep doing you and be healthy and maybe she will finally see straight and get over herself.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/thicklover/">thicklover</a> thinks the whole situation speaks more to the sister-in-law&#39;s issues than OP&#39;s addiction.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;NTA.</p> <p>Organizing an intervention because you were out of contact while on a trip with friends? Telling people you relapse every time you get sick? Sounds like she might have some issues going on that she doesn&#39;t want a light pointed on.&quot;</p> </blockquote><p>Hopefully, OP and their sister-in-law are able to reach some sort of mutual understanding. But at this point, the healthiest thing might be for OP to take space from the people undermining them</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Sister-in-law gets called out for being 'undermining' after shaming recovered heroin addict in front of entire family.

There&#39;s still a lot of stigma around addiction, and because of this, a lot of people don&#39;t understand how to best support their loved ones. While this applies to all addictions, the stakes raised when it comes to hard drugs like heroin, since a lower percentage of the general population has personal experience with the drug, and it has a higher death rate upon relapse than alcohol or other drugs.That being said, one of the worst ways to express &quot;support&quot; for someone fighting addiction is by gossiping, making unsubstantiated accusations, and not believing them about their own recovery process.In a recent post on the subreddit Am I The Asshole, an ex-heroin addict shared how they finally lost their temper with their sister-in-law after dealing with false relapse accusations. &quot;Context here: I&#39;m an ex heroin addict. The why and how isn&#39;t important, but I got hooked at 15, tried to get clean at 17 but relapsed hard, finally got my act together and got off it for good at 21. I&#39;m 26 now and completely clean. I don&#39;t even drink, except for on special occasions where I&#39;ll have two or three drinks at most.&quot; OP started the post by sharing they&#39;ve been clean from heroin for six years after one final, scary relapse years back. &quot;Now, my older brother and his wife have been together since shortly before I had my bad relapse, and she&#39;s convinced that I&#39;m just a ticking time bomb waiting to relapse again. The first year or so, I understood her concerns and she wasn&#39;t the only person who had them. However, it&#39;s been almost six years since I was anywhere near the stuff and she still won&#39;t have that I&#39;m gonna stay clean.&quot; OP&#39;s sister-in-law married their brother right before the final relapse, and has treated OP like a ticking time bomb ever since.For the first year, OP understood, particularly since other people were also keeping close watch. But now that it&#39;s been years, it feels pointed, condescending and personal. &quot;She&#39;s very vocal about these concerns, too. If I get sick, she tells our entire family that she thinks I&#39;ve relapsed again and I&#39;m having withdrawals. She made a huge scene on Christmas day two years ago because I had a cold and was a bit sniffly and she decided that I must have been doing a ton of coke. If anything goes missing from any of the family&#39;s houses, she accuses me of having stolen it for drug money. I mostly just grin and bear it so as not to make waves, but recently she took it a step too far.&quot; To make matters worse, OP&#39;s sister-in-law is very outspoken about her concerns and freaks out every time OP is mildly sick, claiming it&#39;s a withdrawal or relapse.She also accuses OP of stealing any time something goes missing during a family event. &quot;I went away recently with some friends. On the first day of my trip, I dropped and broke my phone. Because she and my brother were unable to get ahold of me for a few days, she became convinced I had gone on a massive dope bender, and began telling my family and friends that she knew this to be the case.&quot; The dynamic came to a climax when OP&#39;s phone broke during a recent trip with some friends.This caused the sister-in-law to tailspin, she immediately assumed the inability to call or text meant OP was off on a massive bender. &quot;When I got home, I found myself being given an intervention and told how disappointed people were. It was kinda the straw that broke the camel&#39;s back, and I sort of flipped at my sister in law. I yelled at her, asking why the fuck she doesn&#39;t trust me and why she&#39;s so hellbent on undermining my success and believing that I&#39;m incapable of staying clean.&quot; When OP got home from the trip, the sister-in-law had gathered the entire family for an &quot;intervention&quot; despite the fact that OP was still clean. This was the last straw.OP understandably called their sister-in-law out for not trusting them, and undermining the past six years of consistency. &quot;She got upset and told me she was only concerned for my wellbeing, but I said imo that&#39;s bullshit; at this point it&#39;s absolutely about her not having faith in me and if she feels that way she should stay the fuck out of my business. At that point she started crying and she and my brother left. I&#39;m being told left and right that I&#39;m an asshole and ungrateful because she&#39;s only looking out for me and I need to apologise, but I&#39;m still upset that she evidently believes I&#39;m incapable of doing this. AITA?&quot; OP&#39;s sister-in-law immediately started crying when she got called out, and now several family members are claiming OP should apologize. But for OP, the sister-in-law&#39;s actions don&#39;t feel like loving concern so much as judgment and a lack of faith.ncole90 thinks OP is completely reasonable and that the sister-in-law is being manipulative. &quot;NTA. Not only do you have to keep a straight head because you&rsquo;re being mindful that you did in fact have a drug problem before, but you also have to deal with someone constantly accusing you of something you worked so hard to overcome? You have every right to be angry and annoyed.&quot;  &quot;Also I don&rsquo;t think she doesn&rsquo;t trust you; I think she likes to be the center of attention and wants you to fail so she can say I told you so&quot; alisha1017 agrees that the sister-in-law is in the wrong here, and making it about herself. &quot;NTA. I&rsquo;m late to the party but I came to say this exactly. This isn&rsquo;t about him relapsing, this is about her need to siphon attention via him possibly relapsing someday. She gets to look like she cares by creating worry and fear from the people who actually do care about the OP. She&rsquo;s 100% the asshole here.&quot; kearacollom thinks OP owes it to themselves to stay away from the toxic sister-in-law. &quot;NTA -Your SIL needs to reevaluate her feelings towards you, and keep her trap shut. There&rsquo;s absolutely no reason to try to undermine you and put your own family against you.&quot;  &quot;I&rsquo;m so proud of you for getting and staying clean, I know it&rsquo;s hard on a person to stay in recovery. Keep doing you and be healthy and maybe she will finally see straight and get over herself.&quot; thicklover thinks the whole situation speaks more to the sister-in-law&#39;s issues than OP&#39;s addiction. &quot;NTA. Organizing an intervention because you were out of contact while on a trip with friends? Telling people you relapse every time you get sick? Sounds like she might have some issues going on that she doesn&#39;t want a light pointed on.&quot; Hopefully, OP and their sister-in-law are able to reach some sort of mutual understanding. But at this point, the healthiest thing might be for OP to take space from the people undermining them

There's still a lot of stigma around addiction, and because of this, a lot of people don't understand how to best support their loved ones.