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<p>Good news for everybody who wanted to know just <em>how </em>hairy President Trump&#39;s testicles are!</p><p><a href="https://www.someecards.com/news/news/stormy-daniels-savage-response-michael-cohen-guilty/">Stormy Daniels</a>, the adult film star your children will be learning about in AP US History, released her memoir <i><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Full-Disclosure-Stormy-Daniels-ebook/dp/B07GC83R9T/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1538500130&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=stormy+daniels&amp;dpID=51-bjOgZgBL&amp;preST=_SY445_QL70_&amp;dpSrc=srch">Full Disclosure</a> </i>and boy, does it live up to its name.</p><p>While the book covers more than just the Trump Affair (she also writes about the legal battle that made <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2018/08/22/politics/michael-cohen-felonies-trump-falsely-said-not-crimes/index.html">Michael Cohen a felon</a> and Trump an unindicted co-conspirator!), it goes into great detail about her encounters with the president. Here&#39;s what you need to know about Trump and Stormy&#39;s affair to help your children study for their AP US History test.</p><h2>1. Stormy&#39;s breasts are nicknamed Thunder and Lightning.</h2><h2>2. She was introduced to Trump alongside other adult film star actresses at the American Celebrity Golf Championship in Lake Tahoe in 2006. He was surprised to learn that she doesn&#39;t just star in adult films, but directs them, too.</h2><h2>3. Trump didn&#39;t ask her out directly&mdash;his bodyguard did on his behalf.</h2><blockquote> <p>[The bodyguard] was in his late forties, mostly bald except for a wisp of close-cropped light hair up top. &quot;Mr. Trump wants to know if you can have dinner with him tonight,&quot; he said.</p> </blockquote><p>The bodyguard, Keith Schiller, went on to work in the White House for awhile, and currently makes <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2018/02/21/trumps-ex-bodyguard-makes-15000-a-month-from-a-gop-slush-fund.html">$15,000 from a GOP &quot;slush fund.&quot; </a></p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>4. She wasn&#39;t interested in meeting Trump for dinner, but was talked into it with the guy she was casually dating, a publicist named Mike Moz.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;What&#39;s wrong with you?&quot; he said. &quot;You have to go.&quot; Moz was very career focused and was always telling me about the importance of relationships in business and how it&#39;s all about who you know. &quot;It&#39;s a great opportunity for you. Just think of it as a once-in-a-lifetime thing.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>5. Stormy didn&#39;t think that Trump wanted sex.</h2><blockquote> <p>What&#39;s funny is that sex never once entered my mind. Call me na&iuml;ve, but he was one of the few straight guys&mdash;hell, any guy&mdash;who didn&#39;t immediately stare at my tits. Plus, he seemed really struck by the fact that I was a director. And I certainly didn&#39;t think he was asking me there as an escort. I never thought in that frame of mind because I wasn&#39;t an escort.</p> </blockquote><h2>6. She wasn&#39;t going to call Schiller, but agreed to a dinner with Trump when the bodyguard called her.</h2><h2>7. Stormy met Trump in the penthouse of his hotel (the hotel he was staying in, not one of the ones that has his name on it).</h2><h2>8. When Stormy got to the suite, Trump was in his pajamas&mdash;a classic<a href="https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/lauren-holly-details-hotel-encounter-harvey-weinstein-i-pushed-him-ran-1049418"> Weinstein move. </a></h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;Hellllllloooo?&quot; I called out.</p> <p>And Trump came swooping in, wearing black silk pajamas and slippers.</p> <p>&quot;Hi there,&quot; he said.</p> <p>Look at this motherf**ker, I thought. I was just so mad.</p> <p>&quot;Excuse me, I have the wrong room,&quot; I said, adding a southern edge of polite malice to my voice. &quot;Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Hefner. I&#39;m looking for Mr. Trump.&quot;</p> <p>His jaw went slack, and his eyes bugged.</p> <p>&quot;What are you doing?&quot; I yelled. &quot;Go put some f**king clothes on.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>9. Trump wasn&#39;t just shocked by the fact that she&#39;s a director, but that she&#39;s sober, too.</h2><h2>10. They laughed over the similarities between stripping and real estate.</h2><h2>11. Trump is a boring, offensive conversationalist.</h2><blockquote> <p>We started talking, which meant he proceeded to go on and on without asking me anything about myself. It was one pretentious brag after another. I will spare you. I found myself getting more and more offended. My Louisiana roots were showing, and this was just socially inappropriate. When you&#39;ve invited someone to meet, it can&#39;t be a one-sided conversation. I&#39;m not his therapist, and this was not a job interview.</p> </blockquote><h2>12. &quot;His monologue went on for a good ten or fifteen minutes.&quot;</h2><h2>13. Out of nowhere, Trump whipped out the copy of Forbes magazine with him (and Ivanka and Don Jr. on the cover).</h2><p>Stormy asked if that move usually worked.</p><h2>14. Here&#39;s how the now-notorious spanking came about:</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;Are you so insecure that you have to brag about yourself,&quot; I continued, &quot;or are you just a fucking asshole? Which is it?&quot;</p> <p>He was so stunned, he just stood there. I lowered my voice to growl, &quot;Someone should take that magazine and spank you with it.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>15. To Stormy, the spanking was non-sexual.</h2><blockquote> <p>It was a power moment, not at all sexual. It wasn&#39;t dirty play or even foreplay. It was me being pissed off and him being shocked and neither of us wanting to back down from a challenge.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>16. He lowered his pants, and Stormy spanked Trump with his own face.</h2><h2>17. That&#39;s when Trump told Stormy he reminded her of his daughter.</h2><blockquote> <p>Now, I know everyone has made that sound sexual, and I feel so sorry for Ivanka because she&#39;s had to hear all these things. Yes, he said what he said, but it was not a creepy or sexual conversation. It was not some perverted, &quot;You remind me of my daughter. She&#39;s so hot.&quot; No, it was, &quot;You remind me of my daughter.&quot; And these exact words he added: &quot;You&#39;re smart, you&#39;re beautiful. You&#39;re just like her. Your&#39;re a woman to be reckoned with.</p> </blockquote><h2>18. Trump asked, &quot;Do you know about my daughter? Have you seen her?&quot;</h2><h2>19. He asked her if she had seen <em>The Apprentice</em> (she hadn&#39;t). He pointed out that it&#39;s a huge hit.</h2><h2>20. Trump said she should be on the show, but Stormy argued that NBC would never accept a porn star.</h2><p>He argued that &quot;it would show the world that [she&#39;s] not a stereotypical porn star&quot; and that it would be huge.</p><h2>21. Stormy asked Trump about Melania. He said, &quot;Don&#39;t worry about that. It&#39;s not a big deal, and anyway, we have separate bedrooms.&quot;</h2><h2>22. He took out a picture of Melania with four month old Barron.</h2><p>&quot;I could tell it made him genuinely proud.&quot;</p><h2>23. Trump asked her about royalties in the adult business.</h2><h2>24. After they discussed the business, she asked him about his hair.</h2><p>Trump said that he knows &quot;it&#39;s ridiculous&quot; and was offered makeovers by every celebrity stylist. Giving up the combover would not only mean giving up his trademark, but also would insult all the celebrity stylists he didn&#39;t choose, he explained.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>25. Stormy called a fellow porn star friend to prove that she was indeed with Donald Trump, and Trump invited her to join them.</h2><h2>26. She went to the restroom, and when she came back, he was &quot;perched on the edge, like had had tried out different poses.&quot;</h2><blockquote> <p>A poor attempt at looking powerful. He had taken off the suit, and was down to his white briefs, a white V-neck, and socks.</p> </blockquote><h2>27. Stormy felt insulted, and somewhat betrayed.</h2><blockquote> <p>I sighed inwardly, keenly aware of two thoughts in that moment. There was the simple &quot;Oh f**k, here we go.&quot; But there was also a much more complex, sad feeling that none of what he said was true. He didn&#39;t respect me. Everything he said to me was bullsh*t.</p> </blockquote><h2>28. She didn&#39;t see his stripping coming.</h2><blockquote> <p>For someone who is now famous for &quot;Grab &#39;em by the pussy,&quot; you&#39;d think we would have grabbed me by the pussy hours earlier. But up until that moment, he wasn&#39;t vulgar or suggestive. I thought we had a great conversation and we&#39;d gotten past the pajama thing by making him my bitch and and proving my worth. And it all meant nothing.</p> </blockquote><h2>29. There was no foreplay, and it was &quot;one position. Missionary.&quot;</h2><h2>30. His kisses were as bad as you imagine.</h2><blockquote> <p>We kissed and his hard, darting tongue pushed in and out of my mouth. I thought, &quot;He&#39;s even a terrible kisser.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>31. &quot;He was a little verbal, but nothing dirty.&quot;</h2><p>&quot;That&#39;s great,&quot; he said. &quot;That&#39;s great. Oh, you&#39;re so beautiful.&quot; I certainly didn&#39;t do any kind of performance. I just kind of lay there.</p><h2>32. The president&#39;s penis is &quot;smaller than average&mdash;below the true average, not the porn average.&quot;</h2><h2>33. Stormy thought that he needed to shave his balls.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;They were unusually hairy, hairier than the rest of him....But his hair down there was better than what was on his head.</p> </blockquote><h2>34. Here&#39;s how she describes his penis:</h2><blockquote> <p>His penis is distinctive in a certain way, and I sometimes think that&#39;s one of the reasons he initially didn&#39;t tweet at me like he does so many women. He knew I could pick his dick out of a lineup. He knows he has an unusual penis. It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool.</p> <p>I lay there, annoyed that I was getting f**ked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart.</p> </blockquote><h2>34. The president ejaculated on her, rather than in her.</h2><h2>35. It lasted two to three minutes, and may have been &quot;the least impressive sex&quot; she&#39;d ever had.</h2><h2>36. After he rolled over, Trump said, &quot;we&#39;re so good together, honey bunch,&quot; which instantly became her nickname.</h2><h2>37. He dangled getting her on <em>The Apprentice </em>so she would see him again.</h2><h2>38. She never called him, but he kept calling her.</h2><p>They spoke on the phone at least a dozen times. He would say, &quot;Honey bunch! How&#39;s your day?&quot;</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>39. They met again on January 17, 2007, at the launch of Trump Vodka in Vegas.</h2><p>She brought a friend so they wouldn&#39;t end up alone.</p><h2>40. <a href="http://www.someecards.com/news/politics/donald-trump-affair-playmate-karen-mcdougal/">Karen McDougal</a>, the Playboy Playmate with whom Trump had an affair, was also at the party.</h2><p>&quot;My hat&#39;s off to him for having the balls to juggle two women at the party,&quot; she wrote.</p><p>Yes, Trump had the balls&mdash;and they were hairy.</p><h2>41. Stormy met him again in Beverly Hills on July 29, 2007. Shark Week.</h2><h2>42. Trump kept insisting that he was close to a deal to getting her on the show.</h2><h2>43. He wanted to cuddle and watch Shark Week. (Not a euphemism).</h2><blockquote> <p>I sat on the crook of his arm as he became entranced by the documentary &quot;Ocean of Fear: The Worst Shark Attack Ever.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>44. According to Stormy, while they were watching Shark Week, HILLARY CLINTON CALLED.</h2><p>Yes, that Hillary Clinton, who at that point was raising money for her first presidential bid.</p><h2>45. Trump really, really hates sharks&mdash;and doesn&#39;t understand the food chain.</h2><p>&quot;I hate sharks,&quot; he said. &quot;I&#39;ll donate to just about anything, but the only shark charity I would donate to is one that promised to kill all the sharks.&quot;</p><h2>46. Trump was allegedly &quot;effusive about Hillary.&quot;</h2><p>&quot;I love her,&quot; he said. &quot;She is so smart.&quot;</p><h2>47. Stormy lied about having her period when Trump began to touch her thigh.</h2><h2>48. Their final phone call was on January 4, 2008.</h2><p>Stormy was in LA, and he called her from New York, oblivious to the time difference. He was apologizing for the fact that Jenna Jameson was on the show when he previously couldn&#39;t cast a porn star.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

48 bonkers details about the Trump affair from Stormy Daniels' new tell-all.

Good news for everybody who wanted to know just how hairy President Trump&#39;s testicles are!Stormy Daniels, the adult film star your children will be learning about in AP US History, released her memoir Full Disclosure and boy, does it live up to its name.While the book covers more than just the Trump Affair (she also writes about the legal battle that made Michael Cohen a felon and Trump an unindicted co-conspirator!), it goes into great detail about her encounters with the president. Here&#39;s what you need to know about Trump and Stormy&#39;s affair to help your children study for their AP US History test.1. Stormy&#39;s breasts are nicknamed Thunder and Lightning.2. She was introduced to Trump alongside other adult film star actresses at the American Celebrity Golf Championship in Lake Tahoe in 2006. He was surprised to learn that she doesn&#39;t just star in adult films, but directs them, too.3. Trump didn&#39;t ask her out directly&mdash;his bodyguard did on his behalf. [The bodyguard] was in his late forties, mostly bald except for a wisp of close-cropped light hair up top. &quot;Mr. Trump wants to know if you can have dinner with him tonight,&quot; he said. The bodyguard, Keith Schiller, went on to work in the White House for awhile, and currently makes $15,000 from a GOP &quot;slush fund.&quot; 4. She wasn&#39;t interested in meeting Trump for dinner, but was talked into it with the guy she was casually dating, a publicist named Mike Moz. &quot;What&#39;s wrong with you?&quot; he said. &quot;You have to go.&quot; Moz was very career focused and was always telling me about the importance of relationships in business and how it&#39;s all about who you know. &quot;It&#39;s a great opportunity for you. Just think of it as a once-in-a-lifetime thing.&quot; 5. Stormy didn&#39;t think that Trump wanted sex. What&#39;s funny is that sex never once entered my mind. Call me na&iuml;ve, but he was one of the few straight guys&mdash;hell, any guy&mdash;who didn&#39;t immediately stare at my tits. Plus, he seemed really struck by the fact that I was a director. And I certainly didn&#39;t think he was asking me there as an escort. I never thought in that frame of mind because I wasn&#39;t an escort. 6. She wasn&#39;t going to call Schiller, but agreed to a dinner with Trump when the bodyguard called her.7. Stormy met Trump in the penthouse of his hotel (the hotel he was staying in, not one of the ones that has his name on it).8. When Stormy got to the suite, Trump was in his pajamas&mdash;a classic Weinstein move.  &quot;Hellllllloooo?&quot; I called out. And Trump came swooping in, wearing black silk pajamas and slippers. &quot;Hi there,&quot; he said. Look at this motherf**ker, I thought. I was just so mad. &quot;Excuse me, I have the wrong room,&quot; I said, adding a southern edge of polite malice to my voice. &quot;Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Hefner. I&#39;m looking for Mr. Trump.&quot; His jaw went slack, and his eyes bugged. &quot;What are you doing?&quot; I yelled. &quot;Go put some f**king clothes on.&quot; 9. Trump wasn&#39;t just shocked by the fact that she&#39;s a director, but that she&#39;s sober, too.10. They laughed over the similarities between stripping and real estate.11. Trump is a boring, offensive conversationalist. We started talking, which meant he proceeded to go on and on without asking me anything about myself. It was one pretentious brag after another. I will spare you. I found myself getting more and more offended. My Louisiana roots were showing, and this was just socially inappropriate. When you&#39;ve invited someone to meet, it can&#39;t be a one-sided conversation. I&#39;m not his therapist, and this was not a job interview. 12. &quot;His monologue went on for a good ten or fifteen minutes.&quot;13. Out of nowhere, Trump whipped out the copy of Forbes magazine with him (and Ivanka and Don Jr. on the cover).Stormy asked if that move usually worked.14. Here&#39;s how the now-notorious spanking came about: &quot;Are you so insecure that you have to brag about yourself,&quot; I continued, &quot;or are you just a fucking asshole? Which is it?&quot; He was so stunned, he just stood there. I lowered my voice to growl, &quot;Someone should take that magazine and spank you with it.&quot; 15. To Stormy, the spanking was non-sexual. It was a power moment, not at all sexual. It wasn&#39;t dirty play or even foreplay. It was me being pissed off and him being shocked and neither of us wanting to back down from a challenge. 16. He lowered his pants, and Stormy spanked Trump with his own face.17. That&#39;s when Trump told Stormy he reminded her of his daughter. Now, I know everyone has made that sound sexual, and I feel so sorry for Ivanka because she&#39;s had to hear all these things. Yes, he said what he said, but it was not a creepy or sexual conversation. It was not some perverted, &quot;You remind me of my daughter. She&#39;s so hot.&quot; No, it was, &quot;You remind me of my daughter.&quot; And these exact words he added: &quot;You&#39;re smart, you&#39;re beautiful. You&#39;re just like her. Your&#39;re a woman to be reckoned with. 18. Trump asked, &quot;Do you know about my daughter? Have you seen her?&quot;19. He asked her if she had seen The Apprentice (she hadn&#39;t). He pointed out that it&#39;s a huge hit.20. Trump said she should be on the show, but Stormy argued that NBC would never accept a porn star.He argued that &quot;it would show the world that [she&#39;s] not a stereotypical porn star&quot; and that it would be huge.21. Stormy asked Trump about Melania. He said, &quot;Don&#39;t worry about that. It&#39;s not a big deal, and anyway, we have separate bedrooms.&quot;22. He took out a picture of Melania with four month old Barron.&quot;I could tell it made him genuinely proud.&quot;23. Trump asked her about royalties in the adult business.24. After they discussed the business, she asked him about his hair.Trump said that he knows &quot;it&#39;s ridiculous&quot; and was offered makeovers by every celebrity stylist. Giving up the combover would not only mean giving up his trademark, but also would insult all the celebrity stylists he didn&#39;t choose, he explained.25. Stormy called a fellow porn star friend to prove that she was indeed with Donald Trump, and Trump invited her to join them.26. She went to the restroom, and when she came back, he was &quot;perched on the edge, like had had tried out different poses.&quot; A poor attempt at looking powerful. He had taken off the suit, and was down to his white briefs, a white V-neck, and socks. 27. Stormy felt insulted, and somewhat betrayed. I sighed inwardly, keenly aware of two thoughts in that moment. There was the simple &quot;Oh f**k, here we go.&quot; But there was also a much more complex, sad feeling that none of what he said was true. He didn&#39;t respect me. Everything he said to me was bullsh*t. 28. She didn&#39;t see his stripping coming. For someone who is now famous for &quot;Grab &#39;em by the pussy,&quot; you&#39;d think we would have grabbed me by the pussy hours earlier. But up until that moment, he wasn&#39;t vulgar or suggestive. I thought we had a great conversation and we&#39;d gotten past the pajama thing by making him my bitch and and proving my worth. And it all meant nothing. 29. There was no foreplay, and it was &quot;one position. Missionary.&quot;30. His kisses were as bad as you imagine. We kissed and his hard, darting tongue pushed in and out of my mouth. I thought, &quot;He&#39;s even a terrible kisser.&quot; 31. &quot;He was a little verbal, but nothing dirty.&quot;&quot;That&#39;s great,&quot; he said. &quot;That&#39;s great. Oh, you&#39;re so beautiful.&quot; I certainly didn&#39;t do any kind of performance. I just kind of lay there.32. The president&#39;s penis is &quot;smaller than average&mdash;below the true average, not the porn average.&quot;33. Stormy thought that he needed to shave his balls. &quot;They were unusually hairy, hairier than the rest of him....But his hair down there was better than what was on his head. 34. Here&#39;s how she describes his penis: His penis is distinctive in a certain way, and I sometimes think that&#39;s one of the reasons he initially didn&#39;t tweet at me like he does so many women. He knew I could pick his dick out of a lineup. He knows he has an unusual penis. It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool. I lay there, annoyed that I was getting f**ked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart. 34. The president ejaculated on her, rather than in her.35. It lasted two to three minutes, and may have been &quot;the least impressive sex&quot; she&#39;d ever had.36. After he rolled over, Trump said, &quot;we&#39;re so good together, honey bunch,&quot; which instantly became her nickname.37. He dangled getting her on The Apprentice so she would see him again.38. She never called him, but he kept calling her.They spoke on the phone at least a dozen times. He would say, &quot;Honey bunch! How&#39;s your day?&quot;39. They met again on January 17, 2007, at the launch of Trump Vodka in Vegas.She brought a friend so they wouldn&#39;t end up alone.40. Karen McDougal, the Playboy Playmate with whom Trump had an affair, was also at the party.&quot;My hat&#39;s off to him for having the balls to juggle two women at the party,&quot; she wrote.Yes, Trump had the balls&mdash;and they were hairy.41. Stormy met him again in Beverly Hills on July 29, 2007. Shark Week.42. Trump kept insisting that he was close to a deal to getting her on the show.43. He wanted to cuddle and watch Shark Week. (Not a euphemism). I sat on the crook of his arm as he became entranced by the documentary &quot;Ocean of Fear: The Worst Shark Attack Ever.&quot; 44. According to Stormy, while they were watching Shark Week, HILLARY CLINTON CALLED.Yes, that Hillary Clinton, who at that point was raising money for her first presidential bid.45. Trump really, really hates sharks&mdash;and doesn&#39;t understand the food chain.&quot;I hate sharks,&quot; he said. &quot;I&#39;ll donate to just about anything, but the only shark charity I would donate to is one that promised to kill all the sharks.&quot;46. Trump was allegedly &quot;effusive about Hillary.&quot;&quot;I love her,&quot; he said. &quot;She is so smart.&quot;47. Stormy lied about having her period when Trump began to touch her thigh.48. Their final phone call was on January 4, 2008.Stormy was in LA, and he called her from New York, oblivious to the time difference. He was apologizing for the fact that Jenna Jameson was on the show when he previously couldn&#39;t cast a porn star.

Good news for everybody who wanted to know just how hairy President Trump&#39;s testicles are!  Stormy Daniels, the adult film star your children will be learning about in AP US History, released her memoir Full Disclosure and boy, does it...

48 bonkers details about the Trump affair from Stormy Daniels' new tell-all.

1. Stormy's breasts are nicknamed Thunder and Lightning.

2. She was introduced to Trump alongside other adult film star actresses at the American Celebrity Golf Championship in Lake Tahoe in 2006. He was surprised to learn that she doesn't just star in adult films, but directs them, too.

3. Trump didn't ask her out directly—his bodyguard did on his behalf.