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<p>Parenting is hard, and no one is expected to get it right one-hundred percent of the time. That being said, there are something that parents do/say that can really scar and harm their kids without them realizing it. Sometimes things with the best intentions have the worse effects.</p><p>Reddit user <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cd1ohi/what_are_some_common_things_parents_dosay_that_is/" target="_blank">killcommander_</a> wanted to explore what some of these mistakes parents make are, so they asked people to share what things their parents did that hurt them. We picked out fifteen of the ones that resonated most. Spoiler alert: passive aggressive comments take the cake.</p><h2>1. The Snitch (frankajc)</h2><blockquote> <p>When you open up to your Mom on some private issue and she says &ldquo;its only between us&rdquo; but then she starts snitching to other people.</p> </blockquote><h2>2.The Silent Treatment (Back2Bach)</h2><blockquote> <p>The silent treatment:</p> <p>It made my brother and me feel terrible when Mom wouldn&#39;t talk to us or explain what was wrong when we asked.</p> <p>The &quot;silent treatment&quot; is demeaning - especially when you don&#39;t honestly know why you&#39;re being punished.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>3. The Comparing (andyl1m)</h2><blockquote> <p>When they start comparing you with the other kids</p> </blockquote><h2>4. The Betrayal (Tizi_)</h2><blockquote> <p>&ldquo;If you tell me the truth I won&rsquo;t be mad&rdquo; Proceeds to scream at you for w/e the truth was</p> <p> </p> </blockquote><h2>5. The Dissapointment (jrpp113)</h2><blockquote> <p>&ldquo;Wow, you got 90% on this test? Where&rsquo;s the other 10%?&rdquo;</p> <p> </p> </blockquote><h2>6. The Competitor (onetruepairings)</h2><blockquote> <p>constant one-upping. my siblings and I are all older (17-21) and we can&rsquo;t say a word about having a long day or being in pain or anything because my mom will come out of the woodworks explaining how her day was much longer and harder and she&rsquo;s in more pain, etc. just because you may have it worse doesn&rsquo;t mean someone else&rsquo;s struggle isn&rsquo;t real to them.</p> </blockquote><h2>7. The Condescender (xxPhoenixPrincesxx)</h2><blockquote> <p>Pointing out their flaws. In a mean and condescending way. I pointed this out to my parents numerous times and they told me &ldquo;you always take everything so seriously. We&rsquo;re just trying to help you&rdquo;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>8. The Backhanded Compliment (killcommander_)</h2><blockquote> <p>Something my mom likes to say a lot is &quot;well it&#39;s so easy, even you could do it&quot;</p> <p>well thanks mom, thats a way of calling me stupid</p> </blockquote><h2>9. The &#39;When I Was Your Age...&#39;MicroPixel</h2><blockquote> <p>Invalidating your child&#39;s feelings (usually by saying something along the lines of &#39;it wasn&#39;t that bad&#39;. Or &quot;when I was your age... So you have it easy&#39;, etc...</p> </blockquote><h2>10. The Physical Appearance Comments (Kynsade)</h2><blockquote> <p>Commenting on their appearance constantly, in either a positive or negative way.</p> <p>If all the compliments you give your child (or let other people give your child) are about their appearance, they will begin to equate the way they look with their value as a person.</p> <p>On the other hand, if you constantly nag at them about their appearance or their weight or the way they dress, they&#39;ll develop lifelong insecurities about (and related to) their appearance.</p> </blockquote><h2>11. The Body Image Issues (little-chili-baby)</h2><blockquote> <p>Similarly, parents being aware that commenting on their child&rsquo;s appearance is wrong, but focusing these comments instead on themselves.</p> <p>&ldquo;I ate so much today. [lists food] I&rsquo;m so fat.&rdquo;</p> <p>&ldquo;I feel so guilty because I skipped the gym today. I feel like a cow.&rdquo;</p> <p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;m so excited, I was able to size down in pants!&rdquo;</p> <p>These one-off comments aren&rsquo;t too terrible, but repeatedly over years certainly models for a child how they should perceive their own body and worth.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>12. The Uknown Study (paul_maybe)</h2><blockquote> <p>Educator here.</p> <p>When kids succeed or do well, many parents compliment them by calling them smart. As it turns out, studies have shown that calling kids smart motivates them to attempt easy tasks and avoid hard ones. The child is trying to fish for that compliment and wants to appear smart, thus only attempts things it knows it will succeed at.</p> <p>It&#39;s much better to compliment a child on working hard, whether he succeeds or fails, rather than tell him he&#39;s smart when he succeeds.</p> </blockquote><h2>13. All of the Feelings (MsAndie1)</h2><blockquote> <p>&ldquo;Don&rsquo;t cry.&rdquo; &ldquo;Don&rsquo;t be sad.&rdquo; &ldquo;Oh, just enjoy it!&rdquo; All feelings are valid.</p> </blockquote><h2>14. The Shamer (s_hinoku)</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;Don&#39;t be silly&quot; after a kid has expressed a fear or concern. You don&#39;t make them brave, you just make them feel ashamed.</p> <p> </p> </blockquote><h2>15. The &#39;Smile More&#39; UllsStratocaster</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;You&#39;d be so pretty if you put some makeup on/ got your hair out of your face/ wore different clothes/ smile more.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

15 people share things their parents did that they didn't realize affected them until later.

Parenting is hard, and no one is expected to get it right one-hundred percent of the time. That being said, there are something that parents do/say that can really scar and harm their kids without them realizing it. Sometimes things with the best intentions have the worse effects.Reddit user killcommander_ wanted to explore what some of these mistakes parents make are, so they asked people to share what things their parents did that hurt them. We picked out fifteen of the ones that resonated most. Spoiler alert: passive aggressive comments take the cake.1. The Snitch (frankajc) When you open up to your Mom on some private issue and she says &ldquo;its only between us&rdquo; but then she starts snitching to other people. 2.The Silent Treatment (Back2Bach) The silent treatment: It made my brother and me feel terrible when Mom wouldn&#39;t talk to us or explain what was wrong when we asked. The &quot;silent treatment&quot; is demeaning - especially when you don&#39;t honestly know why you&#39;re being punished. 3. The Comparing (andyl1m) When they start comparing you with the other kids 4. The Betrayal (Tizi_) &ldquo;If you tell me the truth I won&rsquo;t be mad&rdquo; Proceeds to scream at you for w/e the truth was   5. The Dissapointment (jrpp113) &ldquo;Wow, you got 90% on this test? Where&rsquo;s the other 10%?&rdquo;   6. The Competitor (onetruepairings) constant one-upping. my siblings and I are all older (17-21) and we can&rsquo;t say a word about having a long day or being in pain or anything because my mom will come out of the woodworks explaining how her day was much longer and harder and she&rsquo;s in more pain, etc. just because you may have it worse doesn&rsquo;t mean someone else&rsquo;s struggle isn&rsquo;t real to them. 7. The Condescender (xxPhoenixPrincesxx) Pointing out their flaws. In a mean and condescending way. I pointed this out to my parents numerous times and they told me &ldquo;you always take everything so seriously. We&rsquo;re just trying to help you&rdquo; 8. The Backhanded Compliment (killcommander_) Something my mom likes to say a lot is &quot;well it&#39;s so easy, even you could do it&quot; well thanks mom, thats a way of calling me stupid 9. The &#39;When I Was Your Age...&#39;MicroPixel Invalidating your child&#39;s feelings (usually by saying something along the lines of &#39;it wasn&#39;t that bad&#39;. Or &quot;when I was your age... So you have it easy&#39;, etc... 10. The Physical Appearance Comments (Kynsade) Commenting on their appearance constantly, in either a positive or negative way. If all the compliments you give your child (or let other people give your child) are about their appearance, they will begin to equate the way they look with their value as a person. On the other hand, if you constantly nag at them about their appearance or their weight or the way they dress, they&#39;ll develop lifelong insecurities about (and related to) their appearance. 11. The Body Image Issues (little-chili-baby) Similarly, parents being aware that commenting on their child&rsquo;s appearance is wrong, but focusing these comments instead on themselves. &ldquo;I ate so much today. [lists food] I&rsquo;m so fat.&rdquo; &ldquo;I feel so guilty because I skipped the gym today. I feel like a cow.&rdquo; &ldquo;I&rsquo;m so excited, I was able to size down in pants!&rdquo; These one-off comments aren&rsquo;t too terrible, but repeatedly over years certainly models for a child how they should perceive their own body and worth. 12. The Uknown Study (paul_maybe) Educator here. When kids succeed or do well, many parents compliment them by calling them smart. As it turns out, studies have shown that calling kids smart motivates them to attempt easy tasks and avoid hard ones. The child is trying to fish for that compliment and wants to appear smart, thus only attempts things it knows it will succeed at. It&#39;s much better to compliment a child on working hard, whether he succeeds or fails, rather than tell him he&#39;s smart when he succeeds. 13. All of the Feelings (MsAndie1) &ldquo;Don&rsquo;t cry.&rdquo; &ldquo;Don&rsquo;t be sad.&rdquo; &ldquo;Oh, just enjoy it!&rdquo; All feelings are valid. 14. The Shamer (s_hinoku) &quot;Don&#39;t be silly&quot; after a kid has expressed a fear or concern. You don&#39;t make them brave, you just make them feel ashamed.   15. The &#39;Smile More&#39; UllsStratocaster &quot;You&#39;d be so pretty if you put some makeup on/ got your hair out of your face/ wore different clothes/ smile more.&quot; 

Parenting is hard, and no one is expected to get it right one-hundred percent of the time. That being said, there are something that parents do/say that can really scar and harm their kids without them realizing it. Sometimes things with...