20 of the most funny and awkward conversations parents had with their kids.

Dec 19, 2022 | 11:07 A.M. ET

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Kids truly can say some of the wildest things on earth.

There is something about the sweet spot of being young enough to be uninhibited that brings out some of the most absurd and entertaining quotes and interactions.

Being a parent is often a teeter-totter of exhaustion and sweet moments, and the only thing better than the sweet moments are the funny and strange conversations.

Twitter is chock full of parents sharing the funny, awkward, and disturbing things their kids have said.

So if you need a laugh or a quizzical brow furrow, look no further.

1.

My toddler, who was not previously accustomed to being awake after dark, just looked outside and screamed “where is the backyard?!”
— Mel (@Tweetsnwhatnot) November 10, 2021

2.

“Dad isn’t it weird that the word chicken can mean an animal or a type of food?”

- my kid, on the verge of making a horrific realization
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) March 29, 2021

3.

My son got his report card today and academically he did well but his teacher wrote a note specifying “ he needs to use kind words with friends “ . I asked him about it and he said “ My friends are dumb and they need to know “
— ⬆️⬆️⬇️⬇️⬅️➡️⬅️➡️🅱️🅰️ (@PurestInNoSense) March 24, 2018

4.

I bought my son a book about bats and halfway through it he shouted out, “WHAT??? BATS ARE REAL?!?!” All this time he thought they were made up for Halloween like ghosts and witches
— Ally (@TragicAllyHere) August 16, 2018

5.

Hats off to the waiter that kept a straight face as my 5yo ordered the vagina for lunch instead of the lasagna.
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) June 22, 2021

6.

(4yo daughter is crying her eyes out)

Me: "What's wrong, tutu?"

4yo (moving her hands on the sofa): "If my fingers were markers they would ruin the sofa!"

Me: "But your fingers...are not...markers?"

4yo (peak distress): "I said IF!"
— Tomer Ullman (@TomerUllman) July 31, 2020

7.

Me: What's the first rule of cooking?

4: Don't put your hands in your butt.

Me:

4:

Me: Correct.
— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) November 13, 2019

8.

my 5yo: why do you say mommy is hot?

my husband: it means she's really pretty

my 5yo: *pointing and yelling across a crowded store* THAT LADY IS 𝗛𝗢𝗧 DADDY!
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) April 7, 2022

9.

Daughter didn’t want “sunscream” so I put her outside and yelled “SUN.... GET HER” and now she’s flipping out.
— Nik (@jacaristar) August 25, 2018

10.

My son keeps grabbing fists of air and screaming ‘mine’. My daughter is crying saying Tj is stealing my air....they are in my bedroom, on a Saturday morning....😪😪😪
— MaMthombeni (@knowbuntu) July 7, 2018

11.

Son: I had some scary thoughts.

Me, rolling up sleeves to have a big father-son talk about All Of This: Okay. What kind of scary thoughts?

Son: Vacuum cleaners. Broccoli.

Me: ...

Son: Vacuum cleaners are LOUD.
— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) April 22, 2020

12.

I was arguing with my husband and my son screamed "yay! TWO christmases!" from the other room.
— JennyPentland, GED (@JennyPentland) May 6, 2017

13.

Me: Man I suck at life
My husband: it’s okay I do too
My 6yo: you guys are suck buddies!
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) October 6, 2022

14.

Today my 3 year old niece cried because she remembered she hit her leg somewhere 3 days ago. She said she forgot to cry about her leg that day.
— a plate of bamya (@NourAbadiii) March 30, 2021

15.

Just heard my 4 year old say "it's time to milk the farm dog" and my 2 yo squeal "YEAH" and I better go see what they're doing
— New Lettuce for 2023 (@RateMySalad) February 5, 2022

16.

I was reading to my kids today and in the story, there was a pregnant woman.

My 3 year-old asked, "What happened to her belly?"

I replied, "There's a baby in there."

3 was horrified; "She ate a baby?!"

Sensing a good opportunity, I said "Yes."

Sleep well tonight, kid.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) October 7, 2019

17.

I woke up to 3 yo kid #4 petting my head. I asked what she needed and she said 'i wish i had a piece of you that i could carry with me all the time. like your finger.' Haven't slept soundly since.
— marie bourgeois (@mmbtox) January 28, 2018

18.

my daughter asked why she can’t just quit school and i told her it’s against the law and they’ll put me in jail and my sweet sweet child looked me in the eye and said “i’ll visit you”
— ceciATL (@CeciATL) January 28, 2021

19.

Me: Can you stop asking for things I’m getting sick of having to tell you no

6yo: Maybe you should tell me yes then
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) July 19, 2022

20.

Kid: My sandwich has too much peanut butter on it.

Me: *makes new sandwich*

Kid: This one has too little.

Me: *makes one just right*

Kid: I don’t like peanut butter anymore.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 9, 2019

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