15 people share the toxic behaviors society still makes excuses for.
There are a lot of behaviors normalized in widespread society that aren't healthy. In fact, some of the most rewarded traits prioritize profit or power over emotional connectivity.
In some cases, growing healthy as an individual can sometimes look counter to our culture.
In a popular Ask Reddit thread, people shared the toxic behaviors society still makes excuses for, and it's a pretty exhaustive list.
1. From thrashmetaldinosaur:
That family is allowed to not respect boundaries. It's something I see a lot and often trying to set healthy boundaries with them makes them treat you like the bad guy.
And media and society tends to promote this behavior as love, when it's often actually dysfunction.
There's a difference between being close and taking care of your loved ones and being expected to give up reasonable rights to personal space or to self-sacrifice for them.
UPDATE: Wow, this blew up. I'm glad so many people are finding some catharsis by reading this and knowing they're not alone dealing with familial boundary issues.In my own personal life I have seen this in varied ways.
Some family surprised me by not only accepting my boundaries but adapting positively to them for my mental health once I got the strength to be clear about it. It actually made the bond stronger and healthier.
And I've had family I had to cut out completely because they are unable to see past their own toxicity. You are not a bad person or selfish for needing to protect yourself.
It's extremely hard and I empathize with anyone who is struggling with this. You're not alone!
2. From sayhellotojenn:
People have gotten absolutely insane when it comes to celebrity culture - between inviting celebs to their wedding/prom/other big life events, bombarding their social media pages, or waiting outside their hotel rooms or houses, it’s nuts.
People feel so entitled to time and attention and it’s just gotten worse with social media making everyone so accessible.
3. From saltysaltedsal:
That if you agree with a majority of people, you are correct.
4. From Action-a-go-go-baby:
Hustle Culture. You don’t need/have to monetize every moment of your private life to make more money - you don’t need a side gig or to start your own business or to turn your hobby into a job to be happy.
It’s actually really scary that so many people get drawn into this way of living and don’t realize they’re literally missing the living part of their lives.
5. From lemonlady7:
The “cute but psycho” mentality. It’s not cute to be toxic or treat people like sh*t because you think it’s “cute” or acceptable because of your attractiveness.
6. From Daryno90:
Believing that being a parent is about power and control and not guidance.
7. From NoHedgehog1650:
White collar crime. And it often appears that the more money involved in the crime and/or fraud, the less likely commensurate repercussions will be brought.
The consequences of big money financial fraud are widespread and significant. It ruins many lives and often leads to the death of innocents.
8. From SailorLuna41518181:
Mistaking partner's possessiveness for love/caring.
9. From phantonyte:
Using people as stepping stones for one's success.
10. From video-kid:
One thing that bothers me as a gay man is the idea that there's a right way to be gay, and a lot of people both within the community and outside it see that as internalized homophobia.
It really bugs me that me liking rock music and not enjoying drag is seen as trying to distance myself from these things or being ashamed of my sexuality - it's like I can't just like what I like, I'm making a statement.
I've had queer people make a point of humiliating me or act like I'm a shame to the community because I don't like the right things.
Plenty of straight/cis people either question my sexuality or act confused when I tell them I'm not into Lady Gaga or don't care about Drag Race.
These things are fine, for the people who like them. I wouldn't want to tell someone else they can't enjoy the music they like, but it feels like this is just seen as the default in a way it isn't for straight/cis people.
It just seems ludicrous to me, but a lot of people seem to genuinely think that me liking rock/metal music is some grand statement about how I'm not one of those gays.
Or that I need to get over myself and start listening to what they think I should like. Take drag for example. I totally appreciate the work drag queens have done, and continue to do, for gay rights.
They inspire people to live authentically and be themselves.
But a lot of people seem to think that because I'm a gay guy who doesn't generally enjoy it (apart from a few exceptions like Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Divine, Dame Edna, and Lily Savage) I'm not being authentic, or I'm somehow hiding myself.
11. From InvisibleMe21:
People treat the two-party system like teams in a football game. They excuse bad behavior from the side they support and do everything they can to make the other side look bad. Often they treat the two sides differently for the same behavior.
It gets really bad during elections, where you can't even be critical of your own side when they're wrong without being accused of supporting the other side. Or some other accusation in the extreme.
I remember a (fake) story going around social media about a woman who ran over her husband for voting for Trump and the responses were overwhelmingly in support of her actions. If that isn't toxic, I don't know what is.
12. From woahts:
This weird culture where couples go behind each other's backs and snoop through their phones is really weird to me. Especially when they get mad for not finding anything. Or when asked to see their phone they get defensive.
It's very childish imo, especially when its 30+ year-olds doing it.
13. From NoUsername817226:
Filming someone making a mistake (not crimes) and posting them on the Internet, without censoring their names and/or faces, for them to be judged and humiliated.
14. From MegaEdeath1:
As someone with autism, using neurodivergence as an excuse for your actions. It's never an excuse to do crappy things, it could only sometimes be a reason for them.
If you have autism and you say something very offensive to someone and then use your autism as an excuse that's a genuinely crappy thing to do.
Sure, you can misread some social cues but we know enough common sense to not be a downright jerk.
15. From Mediocre_Fail8581:
'Boys will be boys.' No it means you won't hold them accountable for their sh**ty behavior.