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<p> </p><h2>Most people are familiar with the standard rules of wedding etiquette: don&#39;t wear white, don&#39;t take the spotlight away from the couple getting married, don&#39;t interrupt the ceremony to declare your undying love for the groom...</h2><p>While forcing the bridal party to change their hair color or cover up their tattoos for your wedding photos is extreme borderline &quot;bridezilla&quot; behavior, what happens when your guests aren&#39;t aware that you chose to wear a navy blue gown? So, when a young professional harpist decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit&#39;s &quot;Am I the As*hole?&quot; about a wardrobe malfunction at a wedding gig, people were quick to help deem a verdict.</p><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/vl2rmu/aita_for_wearing_the_same_color_as_the_bride_as_a/">AITA</a> (Am I the As*hole) for wearing the same color as the bride as a wedding harpist and not changing?</h2><blockquote> <p>So I (F18) was asked to play the harp at a friend of my fathers wedding. Normally, I would ask for payment beforehand, but since it was a family friend, they asked if they could just pay me at the reception and I told them yes.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>The dates worked out for me, and it was set in a church about 1 hour from my house. I showed the dress I planned to wear to the bride when we went over the music she wanted and at the rehearsal, but only on a hanger. It looks like it would be ugly on a hanger, as it&rsquo;s just navy blue with long sleeves and floor length, but it&rsquo;s surprisingly pretty.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>I got to the venue about 4 hours early, so my harp would have time to acclimate to the room. When I got there, the bride&#39;s mother came to give me my corsage, and when she saw me, she demanded I change my dress. I laughed because I&rsquo;ve known her for years, and then realized she wasn&rsquo;t joking.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>I asked what was wrong with it and she said that the bride went with a non-traditional dress that was also navy blue. I panicked a little, because this is her wedding and I felt really bad, but she and her groom had approved it twice.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>I told the mother, and she asked if I had any other color I could change into. I don&rsquo;t bring extra dresses unless my dress somehow doesn&rsquo;t get approved beforehand, so I didn&rsquo;t.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>She then told me to go to the bridal shop 20 minutes away, and buy a new dress. I refused, because those dresses would cost about what I was getting paid for this wedding, and I told her I couldn&rsquo;t afford it. I felt bad, but she begrudgingly walked away.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>The actual wedding went smoothly, and after everyone else had left the church and congratulated the bride, I stopped to talk to her. I explained what the mother-in-law said, and she said that it was fine and that they weren&rsquo;t thinking when they approved my dress. At the reception, when I talked to the mother-in-law about payment, she refused to pay me. I didn&rsquo;t want to cause a scene, but the bride came over and heard us talking.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>This time, she was also upset with me and also refused to pay me. I didn&rsquo;t know what to do. As my parents were busy and couldn&rsquo;t attend this wedding, I didn&rsquo;t have anyone there to back me up. A lot of people assume harpists come from a lot of money because of how expensive harps are, but I&rsquo;ve been renting a harp since 4th grade, and when my teacher passed, we bought it for an amazing deal.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>I also charge a lot less than most musicians would, but I have a college payment due in a few days and I can&rsquo;t afford it. I got my parents involved when I got home, and my dad talked to his friend (the father of the groom) who was there when they approved the dress, and he got the payment to me. I still feel really bad, but I don&rsquo;t think there was anything I could have done. Should I have just sucked it up and bought a new dress? AITA?</p> </blockquote><h2>Yikes...</h2><p>If you choose a &quot;non-traditional&quot; wedding gown, should you kick everyone who is wearing the same color as you off the dance floor, or do you remind yourself that the entire point of getting married is to celebrate your love with family and friends and get champagne tipsy instead? Aside from the entire navy blue disaster...refusing to pay your performers and vendors is disgusting behavior. Is this bride really concerned that the harpist in the corner is going to steal the spotlight from the bride at a wedding?</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>Of course, people were eager to weigh in on this gorgeous wedding drama. Here&#39;s what the jury of internet strangers had to say:</h2><blockquote> <p>Girl no, they just wanted to stiff you. You did everything you were supposed to. In future, invoice clients and keep electronic records in case things escalate in ways you cannot mitigate via fatherly intervention. NTA (Not the As*hole) - Creepy_Meringue3014</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>NTA. In future get prepayment for your services because this will not be the first shakedown you encounter by people trying to get your talent without payment. Honestly - if brides choose a non-traditional color aside from white/ivory chance are that someone will be wearing the color of their dress. That&#39;s not anyone else&#39;s problem aside from the bride if it&#39;s not explicitly been discussed with the guests. - Bringintheclowns1</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>NTA - This was a business transaction and you held up your end of the deal. The dress was approved (twice). They had no reason to refuse payment. - Fatal_axecident</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>NTA. I&rsquo;m going to say this may have been setup in advance so they wouldn&rsquo;t have to pay you. They may have thought you were a friend of the family and you should have done it for free. After all the bride was cool until it came time to pay. Lesson learned for you, get at least half as a deposit for EVERYONE. - shodwill</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>NTA. You actually went above and beyond by showing the bride and groom your dress ahead of time&mdash;unless that was part of the agreement for your harp playing, it wasn&rsquo;t necessary. On top of that, they said your dress was fine. They don&rsquo;t get to then demand that you wear something different on the day of the event without paying for the new dress. They also don&rsquo;t get to refuse to pay you for your services just because they didn&rsquo;t like the dress that they told you was fine to wear. Great job getting a parent involved to make sure you got paid! - Prestigious-Pick-308</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>So, there you have it!</h2><p>Everyone agreed unanimously here that this young woman didn&#39;t do anything wrong especially since the dress was pre-approved. Note to self: don&#39;t work for the weddings of family friends!</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Wedding harpist asks if she was wrong to refuse to change dress after bride withheld pay.

 Most people are familiar with the standard rules of wedding etiquette: don&#39;t wear white, don&#39;t take the spotlight away from the couple getting married, don&#39;t interrupt the ceremony to declare your undying love for the groom...While forcing the bridal party to change their hair color or cover up their tattoos for your wedding photos is extreme borderline &quot;bridezilla&quot; behavior, what happens when your guests aren&#39;t aware that you chose to wear a navy blue gown? So, when a young professional harpist decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit&#39;s &quot;Am I the As*hole?&quot; about a wardrobe malfunction at a wedding gig, people were quick to help deem a verdict.AITA (Am I the As*hole) for wearing the same color as the bride as a wedding harpist and not changing? So I (F18) was asked to play the harp at a friend of my fathers wedding. Normally, I would ask for payment beforehand, but since it was a family friend, they asked if they could just pay me at the reception and I told them yes.   The dates worked out for me, and it was set in a church about 1 hour from my house. I showed the dress I planned to wear to the bride when we went over the music she wanted and at the rehearsal, but only on a hanger. It looks like it would be ugly on a hanger, as it&rsquo;s just navy blue with long sleeves and floor length, but it&rsquo;s surprisingly pretty.   I got to the venue about 4 hours early, so my harp would have time to acclimate to the room. When I got there, the bride&#39;s mother came to give me my corsage, and when she saw me, she demanded I change my dress. I laughed because I&rsquo;ve known her for years, and then realized she wasn&rsquo;t joking.   I asked what was wrong with it and she said that the bride went with a non-traditional dress that was also navy blue. I panicked a little, because this is her wedding and I felt really bad, but she and her groom had approved it twice.   I told the mother, and she asked if I had any other color I could change into. I don&rsquo;t bring extra dresses unless my dress somehow doesn&rsquo;t get approved beforehand, so I didn&rsquo;t.   She then told me to go to the bridal shop 20 minutes away, and buy a new dress. I refused, because those dresses would cost about what I was getting paid for this wedding, and I told her I couldn&rsquo;t afford it. I felt bad, but she begrudgingly walked away.   The actual wedding went smoothly, and after everyone else had left the church and congratulated the bride, I stopped to talk to her. I explained what the mother-in-law said, and she said that it was fine and that they weren&rsquo;t thinking when they approved my dress. At the reception, when I talked to the mother-in-law about payment, she refused to pay me. I didn&rsquo;t want to cause a scene, but the bride came over and heard us talking.   This time, she was also upset with me and also refused to pay me. I didn&rsquo;t know what to do. As my parents were busy and couldn&rsquo;t attend this wedding, I didn&rsquo;t have anyone there to back me up. A lot of people assume harpists come from a lot of money because of how expensive harps are, but I&rsquo;ve been renting a harp since 4th grade, and when my teacher passed, we bought it for an amazing deal.   I also charge a lot less than most musicians would, but I have a college payment due in a few days and I can&rsquo;t afford it. I got my parents involved when I got home, and my dad talked to his friend (the father of the groom) who was there when they approved the dress, and he got the payment to me. I still feel really bad, but I don&rsquo;t think there was anything I could have done. Should I have just sucked it up and bought a new dress? AITA? Yikes...If you choose a &quot;non-traditional&quot; wedding gown, should you kick everyone who is wearing the same color as you off the dance floor, or do you remind yourself that the entire point of getting married is to celebrate your love with family and friends and get champagne tipsy instead? Aside from the entire navy blue disaster...refusing to pay your performers and vendors is disgusting behavior. Is this bride really concerned that the harpist in the corner is going to steal the spotlight from the bride at a wedding?Of course, people were eager to weigh in on this gorgeous wedding drama. Here&#39;s what the jury of internet strangers had to say: Girl no, they just wanted to stiff you. You did everything you were supposed to. In future, invoice clients and keep electronic records in case things escalate in ways you cannot mitigate via fatherly intervention. NTA (Not the As*hole) - Creepy_Meringue3014   NTA. In future get prepayment for your services because this will not be the first shakedown you encounter by people trying to get your talent without payment. Honestly - if brides choose a non-traditional color aside from white/ivory chance are that someone will be wearing the color of their dress. That&#39;s not anyone else&#39;s problem aside from the bride if it&#39;s not explicitly been discussed with the guests. - Bringintheclowns1   NTA - This was a business transaction and you held up your end of the deal. The dress was approved (twice). They had no reason to refuse payment. - Fatal_axecident   NTA. I&rsquo;m going to say this may have been setup in advance so they wouldn&rsquo;t have to pay you. They may have thought you were a friend of the family and you should have done it for free. After all the bride was cool until it came time to pay. Lesson learned for you, get at least half as a deposit for EVERYONE. - shodwill   NTA. You actually went above and beyond by showing the bride and groom your dress ahead of time&mdash;unless that was part of the agreement for your harp playing, it wasn&rsquo;t necessary. On top of that, they said your dress was fine. They don&rsquo;t get to then demand that you wear something different on the day of the event without paying for the new dress. They also don&rsquo;t get to refuse to pay you for your services just because they didn&rsquo;t like the dress that they told you was fine to wear. Great job getting a parent involved to make sure you got paid! - Prestigious-Pick-308 So, there you have it!Everyone agreed unanimously here that this young woman didn&#39;t do anything wrong especially since the dress was pre-approved. Note to self: don&#39;t work for the weddings of family friends!

Most people are familiar with the standard rules of wedding etiquette: don&#39;t wear white, don&#39;t take the spotlight away from the couple getting married, don&#39;t interrupt the ceremony to declare your undying love for the groom... ...