Woman asks if she's wrong for not acting excited about sister's fifth pregnancy.

A pregnancy announcement can be a cause for celebration, or a deeply stressful piece of news, it all depends on the circumstances.

At first, it can be unclear sometimes whether a pregnancy announcement is the result of excitement and planning, or an 'oopsy' situation.

Suffice it to say, reacting the 'wrong' way can create a lot of tension.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a young woman asked if she was wrong for not getting overjoyed at her sister's pregnancy announcement.

She wrote:

'AITA for how I responded to my sister's pregnancy announcement?'​​​​

I F (18) have a sister F (38) who we will call 'Kay' for privacy reasons. Kay has 4 children with her husband (3f, 8f, 2f,11f). K is a stay-at-home mom, and her husband works in air conditioning.

K and her husband came over with their kids on his time off to tell us something. She said that they are pregnant with their fifth child. My mom was overjoyed. and I wasn't really paying attention. I was focusing on the TV.

Then my sister says, 'so what do you think about the news'

I said, 'cool awesome.'

Then my sister says, 'just cool, you don't seem that excited for me?' and I said ' well what do you want me to do? Jump up and down and scream my head off?'

'I can see if this was like your first child that you were expecting, like a first-time mother moment, you got four kids, and on your fifth pregnancy by this time you get used to it.'

'Was this baby really hard to conceive, like was it hard to like to get pregnant?' Kay said, 'No it just happened, I took the test a week ago.'

I said, ' Ok then, so at a certain point after number three, people's reaction is not going to be as enthusiastic as if you were expecting with your first' Kay said ' I thought you will be happy for me.'

I was like 'I am but it's not that exciting for me since you been pregnant before.' She got mad and left with her husband and kids and did not stay for dinner. My mom thinks I should apologize to Kay for not being excited about her pregnancy. So Reddit AITA?

Edit: I just want to clarify that this fifth baby was not a baby that was hard to conceive, or they had been trying and wanting a fifth baby. It just happened.

EDIT TWO: I have been finically supporting her other kids, giving her money and food constantly and babysitting her kids so she can go out every weekend to hang out with friends.

I did not add it to my original post because that was not what I was focusing on, I wanted opinions on my reaction to the announcement not me financially supporting her kids. I could have added that, but I did not want to go over the character limit. That's why I made an update on my profile.

People had a lot of thoughts about this one.

CrystalQueen3000 wrote:

NTA. I think it’s weird people expect a big deal to be made of it. Cool, you had sex and now you’re cooking baby number 5, whatever.

ZenFenFae wrote:

Uh, no, 'cool awesome' without disengaging from the TV is legitimately a weird response to having another niece/nephew/nibling. Like I have much older siblings with big families, it was exciting and good news even when it was baby #5.

Can't imagine looking at my youngest nephew and being like 'Well it's not like you're #1, why should I care?' You don't have to jump up and down, but like a smile and a genuine 'Wow that's great, congrats!' is not hard. I'm not even a kid person, but come on guys, it's super weird to be snarky about someone you love having a baby just because you're meh on kids.

I've had lots of achievements I know weren't particularly meaningful to others in my life, expecting them to be moderately enthused for my happiness is just kind of a baseline of what a relationship is.

LadyPent wrote:

Good lord. Why is it such a terrible burden to be happy about the things that make someone you love happy? Are only firstborn children worth celebrating?

Is a child less valuable because their mother doesn’t struggle with infertility? You’re N T A for not being overly effusive, but your speech about why this baby is no big deal to you puts you in YTA territory.

skullyfrost40 wrote:

I'm going with NTA. You are 19, and they are on their 5th kid. Who would expect a teenager to be overly joyous at this point. You told her that you were happy and that it should have been good enough.

I don't know why people think others should be jumping through the roof at this point. Especially, someone your age.

DerelictDilettante wrote:

Eh. YTA, A simple “congratulations” would have been easier than all the effort you put into tearing her down lol. Couldn’t even muster an “I’m happy you’re happy?”

Why did you do that? Pregnancy announcements are boring but shaming the mother's excitement or wrecking their vibe never occurred to me as an appropriate reaction.

Manical_Fanatical wrote:

You are Schrödingers AH. I get that you are not excited and you shouldn't have to act excited just so someone else can feel good. But the way you explained why you weren't excited comes off as rude.

2ndgenerationcatlady wrote:

Yeah YTA. I get your point, but it doesn't actually matter whether you are excited or not - your sister is excited, and it's kind to share/reflect back the excitement of those we love.

TheGreatNyanHobo wrote:

I am thinking ESH. I don’t expect an 18yo to be genuinely excited about a pregnancy. Especially not for someone who is old enough to be her aunt instead of her sister.

But I do expect an 18yo to have the social courtesy to turn from the TV long enough to give a sincere “congratulations.” The monologue was also poorly put.

But the sister pushed for it and demanded the reaction she wanted, so she prompted it. Both people did things that we can find fault with, even given the circumstances.

lostalldoubt86 wrote:

NAH- Your sister is allowed to be excited for each child. You are NTA for being over it at this point. A “congratulations” would have been a better response. But I understand it’s hard to be enthusiastic after that many pregnancies.

Edit: NTA with that update. Having a 5th child when she is taking money from an 18 year-old is irresponsible. Don’t give her your money and time anymore.

One thing is clear: this situation has thoroughly divided the commenters.