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<p>Keeping the peace with a difficult in-law can be incredibly hard, there&#39;s a thin line between letting things roll off your back and enabling someone who is emotionally manipulative.</p><p>On the other hand, speaking your mind can sometimes result in a major conflict, and the backlash can be more trouble than it&#39;s worth.</p><h2>A woman who recently posted on <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/oth5tw/aita_for_snapping_at_my_bil_after_he_told_me_to/" target="_blank">the Am I The A**hole subreddit</a> is facing backlash from her family after recently snapping at her brother-in-law in response to a derogatory comment.</h2><blockquote> <p>AITA for snapping at my BIL after he told me to &ldquo;settle down&rdquo; while I&rsquo;m &ldquo;young and fresh?&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>OP kicked off the post by sharing that she&#39;s never liked her brother-in-law, but the rest of the family is into him because he has money.</h2><blockquote> <p>I (22F) am currently spending a week (well was) with my sister (25F) and her husband (39M). I dislike him because he&rsquo;s a snobby douchebag who looks down on people. However my entire family likes to ignore that because he&rsquo;s got money. For the record, he&rsquo;s been disrespectful to me in the past but I&rsquo;ve always kept quiet since he&rsquo;s basically revered in my family.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>During a recent visit to the pool, OP&#39;s brother-in-law asked if she was in a relationship, and then urged her to &quot;settle down&#39; while she&#39;s in her prime.</h2><p>He went on to say she only had 5-6 years before her body went downhill, and pressured her to find an older man.</p><blockquote> <p>Anyway, I was hanging out by the pool when he came and started talking to me. It was fine until he asked if I&rsquo;m in a relationship and I said no. Then he said that I should seriously consider marriage and &ldquo;settle down&rdquo; while I&rsquo;m in my &ldquo;prime&rdquo;. I was already shocked but he continued to say that women have the most value when they&rsquo;re young and that I should date older men who can provide for me.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>He literally pointed at my body and said that it will &ldquo;all go downhill&rdquo; in 5-6 years so I should find someone of high status while I&rsquo;m &ldquo;young and fresh&rdquo;.</p> </blockquote><h2>OP responded by telling her brother-in-law to mind his own business, and went on to tell him he makes old man noises and should focus on his own health before lecturing other people.</h2><blockquote> <p>So at this point, I was furious. I said that he needs to mind his own business and that I&rsquo;d never consider dating, let alone marrying an older man. I told him that he makes old man noises when he gets up from a chair and should worry about not seriously hurting his back soon. And I said that I never liked him anyway so he should stop bothering me.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>OP&#39;s sister walked out during her diatribe, and forced her to apologize even after OP explained what the brother-in-law had said.</h2><blockquote> <p>Of course, my sister came just in time to hear all of that. She was pissed and yelled at me to apologize immediately. I explained what he just said to me and she completely disregarded it and still forced me to apologize. Her husband - who btw was laughing his a*s off - even told her to calm down. However, she told me to leave and think about what I said to him. I did leave - I packed my stuff and left the house entirely.</p> </blockquote><h2>Now, OP&#39;s sister has told the entire family and they&#39;re all mad at her, claiming she should&#39;ve accepted that her brother-in-law has a &quot;strong personality.&quot;</h2><blockquote> <p>My sis told my family and now they&rsquo;re all mad at me. Everyone is telling me to apologize to keep the peace. They said that I was rude and should be ashamed of myself. They said that I should know that my BIL has a strong personality and that I should learn to accept his views. My mother especially has been acting very manipulative and pressuring me to say sorry and do something nice for both of them.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>OP&#39;s sister also gave her a long speech about how she disrespected the marriage and now she can&#39;t trust OP in her home.</h2><blockquote> <p>My sis gave me this long speech on how I disrespected her marriage and home and that she&rsquo;s more mature blah blah. She said that she cannot trust me to behave around her husband and that I need to take the first step by saying sorry. She keeps ranting that I disrespected her in <em>her</em> house while she was nothing but nice and welcoming. So am I the a**hole here?</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/JeanGaryDiablo89/">JeanGaryDiablo89</a> thinks OP should remind her sister that according to her husband&#39;s logic she&#39;s already going &quot;downhill.&quot;</h2><blockquote> <p>NTA - let your sister know that she&#39;s got 3-4 more years before her looks go downhill according to BIL&#39;s logic.</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/S4XM4N12/">S4XM4N12</a> thinks OP&#39;s brother-in-law sounds like a straight up misogynist.</h2><blockquote> <p>NTA. This guy sounds like a piece of work who views women as objects.</p> <p>Also, who said you needed anyone to provide for you. Patronizing and Sexist at a bare minimum.</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/stary_sunset/">stary_sunset</a> thinks OP&#39;s brother-in-law is going to dump her sister soon, by his logic.</h2><blockquote> <p>NTA. Your BIL is a predator. He picked your sister because she was young enough to fall for his crap. He will probably dump her in a few years and find another 20-year-old to groom. Toxic af and your family is horrible.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Pistalrose/">Pistalrose</a> pointed out how creepy it is that he was commenting on OP&#39;s body in the first place.</h2><blockquote> <p>NTA. Honestly? I find his expressing appreciation for your body and youth - his SIL - pretty creepy. Cause despite it being framed as criticism, it&rsquo;s definitely interest. And that&rsquo;s something a decent BIL would keep under wraps, not get his jollies while coaching it in plausible deniability.</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/thoughtfulspiky/">thoughtfulspiky</a> thinks what OP said was funny.</h2><blockquote> <p>NTA. Your BIL is a misogynist AH.</p> <p>Also, what you said was freaking hilarious, and I say that as a old person past 50.</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Organic_Extension750/">Organic_Extension750</a> thinks OP should cut off her family until they apologize and get with reality.</h2><blockquote> <p>NTA. I would tell your sister that the only person who is disrespecting her in her own house is the old misogynist dumbass she married and that she shouldn&#39;t act surprised the day her asshole husband cheats on her and leave her for a younger woman when she&#39;ll be out of &quot;her prime&quot;. And that she can go f**k herself.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I would also cut all contact with all them who are enabling the a**hole your sister married.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>It&#39;s clear the internet is in OP&#39;s corner, the only question is whether that solidarity will translate to make OP less alone while navigating her family.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Woman asks if she was wrong to snap at BIL who told her 'it's time to settle down.'

Keeping the peace with a difficult in-law can be incredibly hard, there&#39;s a thin line between letting things roll off your back and enabling someone who is emotionally manipulative.On the other hand, speaking your mind can sometimes result in a major conflict, and the backlash can be more trouble than it&#39;s worth.A woman who recently posted on the Am I The A**hole subreddit is facing backlash from her family after recently snapping at her brother-in-law in response to a derogatory comment. AITA for snapping at my BIL after he told me to &ldquo;settle down&rdquo; while I&rsquo;m &ldquo;young and fresh?&quot; OP kicked off the post by sharing that she&#39;s never liked her brother-in-law, but the rest of the family is into him because he has money. I (22F) am currently spending a week (well was) with my sister (25F) and her husband (39M). I dislike him because he&rsquo;s a snobby douchebag who looks down on people. However my entire family likes to ignore that because he&rsquo;s got money. For the record, he&rsquo;s been disrespectful to me in the past but I&rsquo;ve always kept quiet since he&rsquo;s basically revered in my family. During a recent visit to the pool, OP&#39;s brother-in-law asked if she was in a relationship, and then urged her to &quot;settle down&#39; while she&#39;s in her prime.He went on to say she only had 5-6 years before her body went downhill, and pressured her to find an older man. Anyway, I was hanging out by the pool when he came and started talking to me. It was fine until he asked if I&rsquo;m in a relationship and I said no. Then he said that I should seriously consider marriage and &ldquo;settle down&rdquo; while I&rsquo;m in my &ldquo;prime&rdquo;. I was already shocked but he continued to say that women have the most value when they&rsquo;re young and that I should date older men who can provide for me.  He literally pointed at my body and said that it will &ldquo;all go downhill&rdquo; in 5-6 years so I should find someone of high status while I&rsquo;m &ldquo;young and fresh&rdquo;. OP responded by telling her brother-in-law to mind his own business, and went on to tell him he makes old man noises and should focus on his own health before lecturing other people. So at this point, I was furious. I said that he needs to mind his own business and that I&rsquo;d never consider dating, let alone marrying an older man. I told him that he makes old man noises when he gets up from a chair and should worry about not seriously hurting his back soon. And I said that I never liked him anyway so he should stop bothering me. OP&#39;s sister walked out during her diatribe, and forced her to apologize even after OP explained what the brother-in-law had said. Of course, my sister came just in time to hear all of that. She was pissed and yelled at me to apologize immediately. I explained what he just said to me and she completely disregarded it and still forced me to apologize. Her husband - who btw was laughing his a*s off - even told her to calm down. However, she told me to leave and think about what I said to him. I did leave - I packed my stuff and left the house entirely. Now, OP&#39;s sister has told the entire family and they&#39;re all mad at her, claiming she should&#39;ve accepted that her brother-in-law has a &quot;strong personality.&quot; My sis told my family and now they&rsquo;re all mad at me. Everyone is telling me to apologize to keep the peace. They said that I was rude and should be ashamed of myself. They said that I should know that my BIL has a strong personality and that I should learn to accept his views. My mother especially has been acting very manipulative and pressuring me to say sorry and do something nice for both of them. OP&#39;s sister also gave her a long speech about how she disrespected the marriage and now she can&#39;t trust OP in her home. My sis gave me this long speech on how I disrespected her marriage and home and that she&rsquo;s more mature blah blah. She said that she cannot trust me to behave around her husband and that I need to take the first step by saying sorry. She keeps ranting that I disrespected her in her house while she was nothing but nice and welcoming. So am I the a**hole here? JeanGaryDiablo89 thinks OP should remind her sister that according to her husband&#39;s logic she&#39;s already going &quot;downhill.&quot; NTA - let your sister know that she&#39;s got 3-4 more years before her looks go downhill according to BIL&#39;s logic. S4XM4N12 thinks OP&#39;s brother-in-law sounds like a straight up misogynist. NTA. This guy sounds like a piece of work who views women as objects. Also, who said you needed anyone to provide for you. Patronizing and Sexist at a bare minimum. stary_sunset thinks OP&#39;s brother-in-law is going to dump her sister soon, by his logic. NTA. Your BIL is a predator. He picked your sister because she was young enough to fall for his crap. He will probably dump her in a few years and find another 20-year-old to groom. Toxic af and your family is horrible. Pistalrose pointed out how creepy it is that he was commenting on OP&#39;s body in the first place. NTA. Honestly? I find his expressing appreciation for your body and youth - his SIL - pretty creepy. Cause despite it being framed as criticism, it&rsquo;s definitely interest. And that&rsquo;s something a decent BIL would keep under wraps, not get his jollies while coaching it in plausible deniability. thoughtfulspiky thinks what OP said was funny. NTA. Your BIL is a misogynist AH. Also, what you said was freaking hilarious, and I say that as a old person past 50. Organic_Extension750 thinks OP should cut off her family until they apologize and get with reality. NTA. I would tell your sister that the only person who is disrespecting her in her own house is the old misogynist dumbass she married and that she shouldn&#39;t act surprised the day her asshole husband cheats on her and leave her for a younger woman when she&#39;ll be out of &quot;her prime&quot;. And that she can go f**k herself.  I would also cut all contact with all them who are enabling the a**hole your sister married. It&#39;s clear the internet is in OP&#39;s corner, the only question is whether that solidarity will translate to make OP less alone while navigating her family.