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<p>Giving birth is one of the most intense physical experiences you can go through. Even quickest most painless labors involve pushing a human being out of your body, so it&#39;s reasonable to feel anxious about the process.</p><p>Some women find it soothing to have their partner or close loved ones in the delivery room with them. When the shooting pains reach a peak high they can look at the supportive faces of people who love them and can&#39;t wait to meet the new baby.</p><p>However, in some cases, having people witness one of the most vulnerable physical moments of your life adds to the anxiety. Particularly, if they&#39;re not sensitive and respectful of how scary it can be to push a full human out of your body.</p><h2>In a recent post on <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/dywkw0/aita_for_deciding_to_ban_my_boyfriend_from_the/" target="_blank">the Am I The A*shole subreddit</a>, a pregnant woman asked if she&#39;s wrong for banning her boyfriend from the delivery room after finding out about a bet he made.</h2><blockquote> <p><span style="color: rgb(119, 119, 119); font-family: BlinkMacSystemFont, -apple-system, &quot;Segoe UI&quot;, Roboto, Oxygen, Ubuntu, Cantarell, &quot;Fira Sans&quot;, &quot;Droid Sans&quot;, &quot;Helvetica Neue&quot;, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 1.1rem; letter-spacing: -0.01em; font-style: italic;">AITA for deciding to ban my boyfriend from the delivery room after finding out him and his brother were placing bets on my labor and delivery?</span></p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>OP shared that she got pregnant during a one night stand, and her and her now boyfriend decided to keep dating and give it a real go.</h2><blockquote> <p>So I got pregnant during a one night stand. The guy and I were still casually talking after and it was heading towards dating so when I found out I was pregnant we slowly began to date and made it official. He is now my boyfriend and we live together.</p> </blockquote><h2>However, tensions between the couple formed when OP found out her boyfriend and his brother made a bet on how many pushes it will take her to give birth.</h2><blockquote> <p>Yesterday we were opening some baby shower items at his mom&rsquo;s house and my boyfriend&rsquo;s brother and his girlfriend were there. Everything was cool and I was having fun hanging out with his brothers gf but my boyfriend and him were super giggly and his brother was asking me questions about if I&rsquo;m having an epidural and stuff. I asked what&rsquo;s going on and they said nothing and changed the subject. We had dinner later that night and they were still acting weird when it was just them in the kitchen or living room alone together. His girlfriend finds out and tells me that my boyfriend and his brother are placing money bets on how long my labor will be and how many pushes until I &ldquo;shoot&rdquo; out my son. I was disgusting by this immature behavior and so was his mom and the girlfriend. I excused myself and left to go home.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>Finding out about the bet made OP feel disrespected and prompted her to ban her boyfriend from the delivery room.</h2><blockquote> <p>When he came home I told him that he will not be in the delivery room with me. I said he hurt my feelings really bad with betting and kidding around about something so scary to me. We made up the next morning but I still don&rsquo;t want him in the room with me. I told him that our relationship is still super fresh (6 mo) and that we&rsquo;re still figuring each other out. That we&rsquo;re going to have to do a lot of growing up to make this work between us and to co parent and raise a child. I want to be with him and try this new future with him but I was on the fence about having him in the delivery room to start with and this incident tipped the scale. I ended the conversation with telling him he has a lot of maturing to do.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>OP&#39;s boyfriend&#39;s brother even reached out to apologize and emphasize how much his brother wants to be in the delivery room.</h2><blockquote> <p>He&rsquo;s really upset and his brother even reached out and apologized but said I was being rude and unfair from keeping my boyfriend from the birth of his own son and that he has a right to be there since he apologized already. I really don&rsquo;t want him and I don&rsquo;t think it makes it right just because he said sorry, but I still feel like an a*shole.</p> </blockquote><p>OP went on to clarify that the bet isn&#39;t the first time her boyfriend has been immature about the birthing process, and this type of immaturity makes her anxious about coparenting in general.</p><blockquote> <p>Edit&mdash; this wasn&rsquo;t his first offense. He has been immature about the whole pregnancy and we have had multiple sit down discussions about the way he&rsquo;s acted during a couple of moments.</p> </blockquote><p>They&#39;ve had multiple conversations about jokes he&#39;s made about OP&#39;s private parts getting changed by birth, and how pregnancy has affected her digestive system.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>He has teased about my privates becoming mangled, and how gross it will be if I sh*t myself. He always makes fun of my inability to hold in farts this late into my pregnancy. I have told him multiple times this stuff hurts my feelings, bad. This pregnancy hasn&rsquo;t been easy mentally and physically and he knows this. He knows how serious I am about this. Also, they weren&rsquo;t doing the bets as a fun guessing game like someone suggested. They were being sneaky and hiding it from me because they knew it would make me upset. So if they knew that then why continue to do it?</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Edit&mdash; a lot of people ask me why I haven&rsquo;t had a serious conversation about this with him if it&rsquo;s been bothering me so much. I have, multiple times. I straight out tell him those comments or actions make me uneasy and hurt my feelings. He nods his head but the same behavior still continues. And then he&rsquo;s surprised when I eventually have enough and don&rsquo;t want him in the delivery room? I will accept my judgement but I just wanted to mention that I don&rsquo;t think it&rsquo;s pregnancy brain I&rsquo;m dealing with. I feel like I&rsquo;ve been holding his hand through this and that I am going to have 2 children at the end of it.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Edit&mdash; some people are saying this is his way of coping with stress. That can be it for sure. But after knowing how it&rsquo;s affecting me I feel like he needs to learn better stress management than make me feel bad about my body and giving birth</p> <p>Edit&mdash; I&rsquo;m due December 1st.</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/dywkw0/aita_for_deciding_to_ban_my_boyfriend_from_the/" target="_blank">louloomoo</a> pointed out just how gross and hypocritical OP&#39;s boyfriend&#39;s behavior is.</h2><blockquote> <p>NTA.</p> <p>Giving birth is not a spectator sport. This isn&rsquo;t the f*cking Kentucky Derby.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>He has no right to be in that room unless you want him there, and you don&rsquo;t. Maybe while he&rsquo;s in the waiting room he can take bets on how long it will take him to grow the f*ck up.</p> <p>What if he had kidney stones and you were betting on how many hours it would take him to squeeze the stone out of his pee hole. Would he find that amusing?</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/dywkw0/aita_for_deciding_to_ban_my_boyfriend_from_the/" target="_blank">bearpony</a> emphasized the fact that no one has a &quot;right&quot; to be in the delivery room aside from OP and the medical team.</h2><blockquote> <p>Nope. Nope nope nope. He does not have a &#39;right&#39; to be there. You&#39;re the one birthing the baby. The only people who should be there with you are people who will help you. Doctors and nurses who will help you medically, or close, trusted loved ones who will help you emotionally. Your boyfriend isn&#39;t either of those things. He can sit in the waiting room and wait. NTA.</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/dywkw0/aita_for_deciding_to_ban_my_boyfriend_from_the/" target="_blank">meltedcheeser</a> thinks OP should re-evaluate her relatioship with her boyfriend, given how misogynistic he is.</h2><blockquote> <p>This is above AITAH pay grade. Take this over to <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnancy/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">r/pregnancy</a> or <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/babybumps/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">r/babybumps</a>.</p> <p>Labor is hard. You need to feel 100-percent supported and loved. You cannot have someone mocking your process or making you feel self conscious about your vagina/anus or coping.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Your vagina will not be mangled. This man is a horrible human being for degrading your body. You are creating life. Bringing a human into the world. Your body is mind-blowingly incredible... and he&rsquo;s reduced you to a sexual object.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Obviously this relationship is fragile. He needs therapy. But you absolutely get to decide who supports you in labor and if he can&rsquo;t, because he is more focused on keeping score and mocking your bowel movements, get him the f*ck out.</p> <p>No one is entitled to be in that room. No one. He can&rsquo;t be a man, he can&rsquo;t be in the room. NTA.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>And to all these boys saying men don&rsquo;t &ldquo;grow&rdquo; up &mdash; that&rsquo;s deeply misandrist and patriarchal. There are fantastic husbands out there who crush it in labor... who become fathers the second they try to conceive with their partners. Who are empathic and knowledgeable and supportive and strong and loving and attentive.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Stop pushing bullshit narrative that &ldquo;boys will be boys&rdquo; simply because it&rsquo;s easier to be a bullshit person. You make the decision everyday whether or not to be a mature adult, and you take the easy way out because society believes this shit. Stop.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/dywkw0/aita_for_deciding_to_ban_my_boyfriend_from_the/" target="_blank">shikakaaaaaaa</a> thinks OP&#39;s boyfriend needs to grow up in the ways he views women&#39;s bodies.</h2><blockquote> <p>NTA. He f&#39;d up beyond repair here. Going through labor and delivering a child is an experience you want to be immersed in and having him there will frankly ruin it. When you look back, the memory will be forever tainted.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>He&#39;ll be there watching you in the most vulnerable state you&#39;ll ever likely be in with your nether region wide open and you&#39;re in agony and likely pooping on the table. Do you really trust him enough to with all that? Do you really think that he will make the experience better for you?</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>There&#39;s nothing unfair about not letting him in during the delivery and he has no right to be there. Also, the brother&#39;s the other a*shole who was participating in these disgusting bets so I don&#39;t even know why you&#39;re even listening to him trying to guilt you.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>You are not an asshole for protecting yourself and your experience. The sperm donor and his brother are total a*sholes.</p> </blockquote><p>Given the unanimous agreement that OP is NTA, it seems reasonable to assume her boyfriend won&#39;t be in the delivery room. Perhaps the bigger, and more pressing question at hand, is whether OP&#39;s boyfriend will level up to the duties of fatherhood.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Woman asks if it's wrong to ban boyfriend from delivery room because he made bets about her labor.

Giving birth is one of the most intense physical experiences you can go through. Even quickest most painless labors involve pushing a human being out of your body, so it&#39;s reasonable to feel anxious about the process.Some women find it soothing to have their partner or close loved ones in the delivery room with them. When the shooting pains reach a peak high they can look at the supportive faces of people who love them and can&#39;t wait to meet the new baby.However, in some cases, having people witness one of the most vulnerable physical moments of your life adds to the anxiety. Particularly, if they&#39;re not sensitive and respectful of how scary it can be to push a full human out of your body.In a recent post on the Am I The A*shole subreddit, a pregnant woman asked if she&#39;s wrong for banning her boyfriend from the delivery room after finding out about a bet he made. AITA for deciding to ban my boyfriend from the delivery room after finding out him and his brother were placing bets on my labor and delivery? OP shared that she got pregnant during a one night stand, and her and her now boyfriend decided to keep dating and give it a real go. So I got pregnant during a one night stand. The guy and I were still casually talking after and it was heading towards dating so when I found out I was pregnant we slowly began to date and made it official. He is now my boyfriend and we live together. However, tensions between the couple formed when OP found out her boyfriend and his brother made a bet on how many pushes it will take her to give birth. Yesterday we were opening some baby shower items at his mom&rsquo;s house and my boyfriend&rsquo;s brother and his girlfriend were there. Everything was cool and I was having fun hanging out with his brothers gf but my boyfriend and him were super giggly and his brother was asking me questions about if I&rsquo;m having an epidural and stuff. I asked what&rsquo;s going on and they said nothing and changed the subject. We had dinner later that night and they were still acting weird when it was just them in the kitchen or living room alone together. His girlfriend finds out and tells me that my boyfriend and his brother are placing money bets on how long my labor will be and how many pushes until I &ldquo;shoot&rdquo; out my son. I was disgusting by this immature behavior and so was his mom and the girlfriend. I excused myself and left to go home. Finding out about the bet made OP feel disrespected and prompted her to ban her boyfriend from the delivery room. When he came home I told him that he will not be in the delivery room with me. I said he hurt my feelings really bad with betting and kidding around about something so scary to me. We made up the next morning but I still don&rsquo;t want him in the room with me. I told him that our relationship is still super fresh (6 mo) and that we&rsquo;re still figuring each other out. That we&rsquo;re going to have to do a lot of growing up to make this work between us and to co parent and raise a child. I want to be with him and try this new future with him but I was on the fence about having him in the delivery room to start with and this incident tipped the scale. I ended the conversation with telling him he has a lot of maturing to do. OP&#39;s boyfriend&#39;s brother even reached out to apologize and emphasize how much his brother wants to be in the delivery room. He&rsquo;s really upset and his brother even reached out and apologized but said I was being rude and unfair from keeping my boyfriend from the birth of his own son and that he has a right to be there since he apologized already. I really don&rsquo;t want him and I don&rsquo;t think it makes it right just because he said sorry, but I still feel like an a*shole. OP went on to clarify that the bet isn&#39;t the first time her boyfriend has been immature about the birthing process, and this type of immaturity makes her anxious about coparenting in general. Edit&mdash; this wasn&rsquo;t his first offense. He has been immature about the whole pregnancy and we have had multiple sit down discussions about the way he&rsquo;s acted during a couple of moments. They&#39;ve had multiple conversations about jokes he&#39;s made about OP&#39;s private parts getting changed by birth, and how pregnancy has affected her digestive system. He has teased about my privates becoming mangled, and how gross it will be if I sh*t myself. He always makes fun of my inability to hold in farts this late into my pregnancy. I have told him multiple times this stuff hurts my feelings, bad. This pregnancy hasn&rsquo;t been easy mentally and physically and he knows this. He knows how serious I am about this. Also, they weren&rsquo;t doing the bets as a fun guessing game like someone suggested. They were being sneaky and hiding it from me because they knew it would make me upset. So if they knew that then why continue to do it?  Edit&mdash; a lot of people ask me why I haven&rsquo;t had a serious conversation about this with him if it&rsquo;s been bothering me so much. I have, multiple times. I straight out tell him those comments or actions make me uneasy and hurt my feelings. He nods his head but the same behavior still continues. And then he&rsquo;s surprised when I eventually have enough and don&rsquo;t want him in the delivery room? I will accept my judgement but I just wanted to mention that I don&rsquo;t think it&rsquo;s pregnancy brain I&rsquo;m dealing with. I feel like I&rsquo;ve been holding his hand through this and that I am going to have 2 children at the end of it.  Edit&mdash; some people are saying this is his way of coping with stress. That can be it for sure. But after knowing how it&rsquo;s affecting me I feel like he needs to learn better stress management than make me feel bad about my body and giving birth Edit&mdash; I&rsquo;m due December 1st. louloomoo pointed out just how gross and hypocritical OP&#39;s boyfriend&#39;s behavior is. NTA. Giving birth is not a spectator sport. This isn&rsquo;t the f*cking Kentucky Derby.  He has no right to be in that room unless you want him there, and you don&rsquo;t. Maybe while he&rsquo;s in the waiting room he can take bets on how long it will take him to grow the f*ck up. What if he had kidney stones and you were betting on how many hours it would take him to squeeze the stone out of his pee hole. Would he find that amusing? bearpony emphasized the fact that no one has a &quot;right&quot; to be in the delivery room aside from OP and the medical team. Nope. Nope nope nope. He does not have a &#39;right&#39; to be there. You&#39;re the one birthing the baby. The only people who should be there with you are people who will help you. Doctors and nurses who will help you medically, or close, trusted loved ones who will help you emotionally. Your boyfriend isn&#39;t either of those things. He can sit in the waiting room and wait. NTA. meltedcheeser thinks OP should re-evaluate her relatioship with her boyfriend, given how misogynistic he is. This is above AITAH pay grade. Take this over to r/pregnancy or r/babybumps. Labor is hard. You need to feel 100-percent supported and loved. You cannot have someone mocking your process or making you feel self conscious about your vagina/anus or coping.  Your vagina will not be mangled. This man is a horrible human being for degrading your body. You are creating life. Bringing a human into the world. Your body is mind-blowingly incredible... and he&rsquo;s reduced you to a sexual object.  Obviously this relationship is fragile. He needs therapy. But you absolutely get to decide who supports you in labor and if he can&rsquo;t, because he is more focused on keeping score and mocking your bowel movements, get him the f*ck out. No one is entitled to be in that room. No one. He can&rsquo;t be a man, he can&rsquo;t be in the room. NTA.  And to all these boys saying men don&rsquo;t &ldquo;grow&rdquo; up &mdash; that&rsquo;s deeply misandrist and patriarchal. There are fantastic husbands out there who crush it in labor... who become fathers the second they try to conceive with their partners. Who are empathic and knowledgeable and supportive and strong and loving and attentive.  Stop pushing bullshit narrative that &ldquo;boys will be boys&rdquo; simply because it&rsquo;s easier to be a bullshit person. You make the decision everyday whether or not to be a mature adult, and you take the easy way out because society believes this shit. Stop. shikakaaaaaaa thinks OP&#39;s boyfriend needs to grow up in the ways he views women&#39;s bodies. NTA. He f&#39;d up beyond repair here. Going through labor and delivering a child is an experience you want to be immersed in and having him there will frankly ruin it. When you look back, the memory will be forever tainted.  He&#39;ll be there watching you in the most vulnerable state you&#39;ll ever likely be in with your nether region wide open and you&#39;re in agony and likely pooping on the table. Do you really trust him enough to with all that? Do you really think that he will make the experience better for you?  There&#39;s nothing unfair about not letting him in during the delivery and he has no right to be there. Also, the brother&#39;s the other a*shole who was participating in these disgusting bets so I don&#39;t even know why you&#39;re even listening to him trying to guilt you.  You are not an asshole for protecting yourself and your experience. The sperm donor and his brother are total a*sholes. Given the unanimous agreement that OP is NTA, it seems reasonable to assume her boyfriend won&#39;t be in the delivery room. Perhaps the bigger, and more pressing question at hand, is whether OP&#39;s boyfriend will level up to the duties of fatherhood.