Vanishing from the party for forty minutes at a time to scroll through Instagram from the privacy of a restroom stall might make your partner suspect the worst. Are you having an affair with all the models whose posts you always "like" along with 500,000 other thirsty strangers? If you're not even looking at the phone in the bathroom, are your organs doing ok, sir? The only explanation for ruining a dinner date with the length of your bathroom visit would be if you have a serious, possibly undiagnosed medical condition. In that case, have you gone to the doctor or are you just hoping nobody at your birthday lunch noticed you've been gone since the appetizer?
So, when a confused and frustrated woman decided to consult the online courtroom of moral philosophy otherwise known as Reddit's "Am I the As*hole?" about her husband's bizarre and worrisome bathroom habits, people were quick to help deem a verdict.