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<h2>Controlling what activities your partner partakes in during their free time can be a toxic pattern in a relationship, but expressing your discomfort with certain places or behaviors can also be part of healthy communication.</h2><p>When a conflicted woman decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit&#39;s &quot;Am I the As*hole&quot; about whether or not she was wrong to keep the strippers at her friend&#39;s bachelorette party a secret, people were quick to help deem a verdict.</p><h2>AITA for not telling my boyfriend about strippers at a bachelorette party?</h2><blockquote> <p>My BF and I have been together for almost 4 years. We met in college, started dating our junior year and are part of the same friend group. A couple friends of ours were supposed to get married last summer, but had to delay it to this year. We are both in the wedding party and were invited to the bachelor/bachelorette parties.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>During the planning for the bachelor party, my BF told me that the best man wanted to go to a strip club and the groom got the go-ahead from the bride. I am very uncomfortable with strip clubs, just always have been. I am not trying to shame sex-workers in any way, but strip clubs just always grossed me out.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>I told my BF this and told him I would feel much better if he didn&#39;t participate in that part of the bachelor party. I wasn&#39;t going to tell him he can&#39;t go to the party at all, just that when other people go to a strip club, that he finds something else to do.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>We kind of got into a fight about it because he was worried that he would be the only one not going to the club and would therefore be alone at a bar or have to leave altogether if the rest of the party wanted to stay there for a long time. I understand that part, but I was pretty firm that I didn&#39;t want him to go to the club part of it and he eventually relented.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>The parties were scheduled for the same weekend and the bachelorette party got a hotel suite for the night. Well, it turns out that the maid-of-honor hired a couple of male strippers to come to the room for a private show. I wasn&#39;t really comfortable with it and tried to leave, but the rest of the girls pretty much made me stay.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>After the parties, I asked my BF how the bachelor party went and he pretty much just said it was fun and that he hung out at a bar with another couple guys while the rest went to a strip club for an hour or so. He asked how my party went and I told him it was fun, but didn&#39;t mention the male strippers. I don&#39;t know why I didn&#39;t tell him, I just didn&#39;t.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>At the wedding reception a couple weeks later, I was talking with some people and noticed my BF talking with a group of people in the wedding party across the room and they were all laughing except my BF. I keep looking at them and eventually my BF looks at me and he&#39;s just staring daggers at me.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Like, I have never seen him look at me like that before and I felt really uncomfortable. He was really cold with me the rest of the night and he ended up getting pretty drunk and passing out at the hotel as soon as we got there.</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>On the car ride home the next day he finally opened up and told me that one of the bridesmaids had told him about the strippers and he was pissed that I would tell him not to go to a strip club and then go and hang out with male strippers in a private hotel room show.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>He said that was way worse than any strip club and that I was a huge as*hole and hypocrite for it. He said he feels like I&#39;m hiding something because I didn&#39;t tell him about the strippers and he doesn&#39;t believe me that nothing happened.</p> </blockquote><h2>Here&#39;s what the jury of internet strangers had to say:</h2><blockquote> <p>YTA (You&#39;re the As*hole), how did the other girls &quot;make you stay&quot;? Why couldn&#39;t you go to the hotel bar? And why didn&#39;t you tell your boyfriend and explain the situation? - space_dan1345</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>YTA - how would you not be the as*hole here? You made a big stink about the idea of him going to the strip club, yet you participated in the exact same thing. And then lied about it, too. Plus, I actually kind of agree that your situation is worse (private room thing vs strip club itself). Objectively, you&#39;re a hypocrite. While it doesn&#39;t necessarily make you a bad person, yes, you&#39;re definitely the asshole. - Brickolas75</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>YTA. You glossed over how the rest of the girls &quot;pretty much made&quot; you stay. It sounds like they exerted social pressure. Of course, that was the same kind of social pressure your boyfriend faced, although he had advance notice. You asked your boyfriend to conform to your standards, but you did not conform to them yourself.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Then, you committed a lie by omission by not telling your boyfriend what happened after the fact. From beginning to end you are wrong. For the record, I am not comfortable in strip clubs either. - General_Relative2838</p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>YTA. You&#39;re a literal hypocrite. You didn&#39;t want your boyfriend doing something, and then you turned around and did the exact thing you didn&#39;t want him doing. No one /forced/ you to stay, you just had 0 backbone and got peer pressured into staying. Yikes. - PartyySnacks</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>YTA - you should have disclosed this the next day. Also you can leave if you want. No one can hold you captive. Doesn&rsquo;t sound like you tried very hard - steamynicksxo</p> </blockquote><h2>So, there you have it!</h2><p>Everyone agreed that this woman was completely wrong to not tell her boyfriend immediately that she broke her own rule, as she kept him from participating in his friend&#39;s bachelor party events for no reason. Good luck, everyone!</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Woman asks if she's wrong for not telling BF about strippers at bachelorette party.

Controlling what activities your partner partakes in during their free time can be a toxic pattern in a relationship, but expressing your discomfort with certain places or behaviors can also be part of healthy communication.When a conflicted woman decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit&#39;s &quot;Am I the As*hole&quot; about whether or not she was wrong to keep the strippers at her friend&#39;s bachelorette party a secret, people were quick to help deem a verdict.AITA for not telling my boyfriend about strippers at a bachelorette party? My BF and I have been together for almost 4 years. We met in college, started dating our junior year and are part of the same friend group. A couple friends of ours were supposed to get married last summer, but had to delay it to this year. We are both in the wedding party and were invited to the bachelor/bachelorette parties.   During the planning for the bachelor party, my BF told me that the best man wanted to go to a strip club and the groom got the go-ahead from the bride. I am very uncomfortable with strip clubs, just always have been. I am not trying to shame sex-workers in any way, but strip clubs just always grossed me out.   I told my BF this and told him I would feel much better if he didn&#39;t participate in that part of the bachelor party. I wasn&#39;t going to tell him he can&#39;t go to the party at all, just that when other people go to a strip club, that he finds something else to do.   We kind of got into a fight about it because he was worried that he would be the only one not going to the club and would therefore be alone at a bar or have to leave altogether if the rest of the party wanted to stay there for a long time. I understand that part, but I was pretty firm that I didn&#39;t want him to go to the club part of it and he eventually relented.   The parties were scheduled for the same weekend and the bachelorette party got a hotel suite for the night. Well, it turns out that the maid-of-honor hired a couple of male strippers to come to the room for a private show. I wasn&#39;t really comfortable with it and tried to leave, but the rest of the girls pretty much made me stay.   After the parties, I asked my BF how the bachelor party went and he pretty much just said it was fun and that he hung out at a bar with another couple guys while the rest went to a strip club for an hour or so. He asked how my party went and I told him it was fun, but didn&#39;t mention the male strippers. I don&#39;t know why I didn&#39;t tell him, I just didn&#39;t.   At the wedding reception a couple weeks later, I was talking with some people and noticed my BF talking with a group of people in the wedding party across the room and they were all laughing except my BF. I keep looking at them and eventually my BF looks at me and he&#39;s just staring daggers at me.  Like, I have never seen him look at me like that before and I felt really uncomfortable. He was really cold with me the rest of the night and he ended up getting pretty drunk and passing out at the hotel as soon as we got there.   On the car ride home the next day he finally opened up and told me that one of the bridesmaids had told him about the strippers and he was pissed that I would tell him not to go to a strip club and then go and hang out with male strippers in a private hotel room show.  He said that was way worse than any strip club and that I was a huge as*hole and hypocrite for it. He said he feels like I&#39;m hiding something because I didn&#39;t tell him about the strippers and he doesn&#39;t believe me that nothing happened. Here&#39;s what the jury of internet strangers had to say: YTA (You&#39;re the As*hole), how did the other girls &quot;make you stay&quot;? Why couldn&#39;t you go to the hotel bar? And why didn&#39;t you tell your boyfriend and explain the situation? - space_dan1345   YTA - how would you not be the as*hole here? You made a big stink about the idea of him going to the strip club, yet you participated in the exact same thing. And then lied about it, too. Plus, I actually kind of agree that your situation is worse (private room thing vs strip club itself). Objectively, you&#39;re a hypocrite. While it doesn&#39;t necessarily make you a bad person, yes, you&#39;re definitely the asshole. - Brickolas75   YTA. You glossed over how the rest of the girls &quot;pretty much made&quot; you stay. It sounds like they exerted social pressure. Of course, that was the same kind of social pressure your boyfriend faced, although he had advance notice. You asked your boyfriend to conform to your standards, but you did not conform to them yourself.  Then, you committed a lie by omission by not telling your boyfriend what happened after the fact. From beginning to end you are wrong. For the record, I am not comfortable in strip clubs either. - General_Relative2838   YTA. You&#39;re a literal hypocrite. You didn&#39;t want your boyfriend doing something, and then you turned around and did the exact thing you didn&#39;t want him doing. No one /forced/ you to stay, you just had 0 backbone and got peer pressured into staying. Yikes. - PartyySnacks   YTA - you should have disclosed this the next day. Also you can leave if you want. No one can hold you captive. Doesn&rsquo;t sound like you tried very hard - steamynicksxo So, there you have it!Everyone agreed that this woman was completely wrong to not tell her boyfriend immediately that she broke her own rule, as she kept him from participating in his friend&#39;s bachelor party events for no reason. Good luck, everyone!

Controlling what activities your partner partakes in during their free time can be a toxic pattern in a relationship, but expressing your discomfort with certain places or behaviors can also be part of healthy communication.  When a...