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Woman asks if she's wrong to refuse 'disgusting' dinner at in-laws.

Woman asks if she's wrong to refuse 'disgusting' dinner at in-laws.


Cooking and sharing food with people you love is a timeless way to bond, but food can also be a delicate subject depending on everyone's individual needs and preferences...

Gluten-free, vegan, vegetarian, raw, no carb, nut allergies--it can be hard to make an entire group happy even with seemingly safe options like a quick plain pizza. While it's normal to have to choke down a few meals you hate in your lifetime in the name of being polite, if you're constantly forced to eat 'disgusting' or grossly unhealthy meals because of a family member's habits, it's not fair to keep putting your body through another unseasoned, well done steak. A complete lack of spices, smothering everything in Ranch dressing, salads that don't feature a single green, or meat-heavy dishes can make you feel like a lead weight if you're not used to consuming a full stick of corn-sprinkled butter in one sitting.

So, when a health-conscious woman decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about boycotting her in-law's cooking, people were quick to help deem a verdict.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for trying to arrange meet-ups with my in-laws that aren’t food-centric because I can’t sit through another disgusting meal with them?

My in-laws are so nice, but their taste in food is… gross. I’m talking inches of mayo on simple sandwiches, ranch dressing poured all over everything, food covered in cheese, deep fried this and that, and for a vegetable… corn slathered in butter. It’s all beige and tasteless because they don’t season food unless it comes in seasoning packets, and they salt everything within an inch of its life. Almost every time I eat there I have the worst stomach ache.

We got tired of having to choke down my MIL’s cooking and whenever we’d have them over there would be nonstop complaining because even though I would make stuff I thought they’d like (heavy on the meat and potato, lots of cheese available) there would be big enough portions, there was “too much green stuff” etc etc. So it’s mutual. They think what we eat is disgusting and I think what they eat is disgusting.

So the solution is to obviously hang out without food, right? I started suggesting we go to the park, the Zoo, on nice hikes, etc. But then eventually someone would say “Sure, but then let’s meet back here for a nice lunch!” and I’m back to choking down mayo sandwiches. If we tried to skip it they’d get mad for cutting the visit short. I would recommend ordering pizza and then get myself a nice healthy salad, they’d complain about how I’m no fun and think I’m better than them.

My husband finally put his foot down and said that we won’t be meeting up to do food anymore and MIL made a huge stinky fit about it, saying that we were ruining everything and being too picky and we thought we were better than they are.

Mind you that we’ve never made faces about the food, we’ve never once complained about it, and I always offer to help come up with a menu or bring something and I'm shot down. They however always make faces because “Ew what’s quinoa salad” and “Ew what is this green stuff” and can’t deal with one meal that isn’t 1500 calories in one go.

Are we completely off base here?

Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say:

NTA (Not the As*hole) They recognize their food choices are bad, otherwise they wouldn’t be trying to shame or guilt you for your healthy lifestyle. They’re envious, but want to cut you down instead of making any meaningful change. - Lucyfiir

NTA, there is a certain limit as to what people can take. Stand firm, if you do go for hikes take snacks (granola, dried fruit, ect). Or go to a restaurant for lunch so you can order what you want and they can have what they want. - RCalkins11

NTA - but work harder at a compromise... you have years ahead of you together. Maybe you and hubby have a sit-down with them 'we love you and want to hang out, yet it's obvious we have different tastes in food -- we are NOT saying one is better than the other, but I complain about mayonnaise and you complain about too many greens -- it is what it is. How about for now, if food needs to be involved, we go out to eat so everyone can order what they prefer... and/or if going out isn't okay, we each contribute to the meals and people can eat what they want without judgement.' Or try this: That sandwich looks so good! Can I please have one without mayo? Or can I borrow a knife to take just a bit of this mayo off -- I cant wait to dig in... - Babsgarcia

'Too much green stuff'? Are they FIVE? - eva_rector

ESH A lot of people here are missing things because your request, 'meetings without food,' seems reasonable, but your MIL is right, you do think you are better than them. You don't have to like it, you shouldn't be forced to eat it, but you should work on learning to respect their food choices. - Brooklynxman

So, there you have it!

While the opinions were somewhat mixed, most people agreed that this woman shouldn't be forced to consume food she hates that makes her sick, but she does probably think her choices are superior which is what her mother-in-law is picking up on. Good luck, everyone!

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