'AITA for not wanting to spend my lottery winning on a new car for my BF?'

Most of us have dreamed about what we'd do if we won the lottery. Images of dream houses, fancy vacations, and big pools might come to mind, but the reality of winning the lottery is far more complex and stressful than most people imagine.

The presence of a windfall can bring out the worst in people, causing even the closest friends and family to show entitlement. On top of that, the heavily taxed winnings can easily be spent away if you don't have a plan on how to make it last.

These complex dynamics came up in a popular AITA post, where a woman asked if she was wrong for not buying her boyfriend a car until speaking with a financial advisor.

She wrote:

'AITA for not wanting to spend my lottery winning on a new car for my boyfriend?'

Recently, I (F26) have won quite lot of money in the lottery. It’s not the main prize (it was one of the top 3 though) but it’s a life-changing amount in my country. I grew up poor, very poor and while I worked my way up, my closest family is still struggling.

I help but I cannot fix everything, well I couldn’t before. My winnings were recently deposited in my bank account (completely separate one from my normal one). I’m not touching that money until I have my meeting with my financial advisors that I hired.

My plan is to use small amount of money to enjoy, use part to improve my family’s life (e.g. buy them flats that they can later on afford to upkeep but in safer place and of better quality).

And, invest the vast majority in different venture to ensure stream of revenue for years to come so I can live comfortably and help my family. The only people that know are my closest family and my boyfriend, Andy (M30).

We’ve been together fo 7 months but we don’t live together. Andy has different plans. He basically came up with a list of items he need so and have been pressuring me into getting them before I even speak to my advisors.

Basically, he wants a new car, stereotypically, he want something like a Tesla, which he absolutely doesn’t need. He wants us to move in together and for me to buy a house with a pool.

He now started talking about kids, since we can afford them, blah, blah, even though he knows that I am childfree. I’ve been refusing every single request telling him that necessities come first.

That money I should under lock and key until I speak with my financial advisors. He’s not very happy. He’s been calling me a Scrooge, telling him I don’t love him anymore, calling me a cheapskate.

Worst of all, he now told every one of our friends about this and they’ve started pressuring me as well, asking me to fund nights out, etc. And they’ve been very cruel when I refuse, a**hole being almost a compliment. I’m devastated. Am I really an a**hole in this situation? AITA for not wanting to spend frivolously?

Commenters were quick to share their thoughts on the popular thread.

snarkisms wrote:

NTA. nope. do not buy your boyfriend of less than a year a car, or a house with a pool. There is a phenomenal comment thread of what to do if you win the lottery here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/24vo34/comment/chb38xf/

Read it and take it to heart. Congratulations on your winnings and understand that your life is going to be very different. That isn't a bad thing.

bookgeek59 wrote:

NTA. Ditch the boyfriend ASAP. Don't buy him a pack of gum, let alone anything else. He's trying to manipulate you with guilt ('If you loved me...') and by telling mutual friends about your money. I'm so happy for you, using your money so well!

Punkrockpm wrote:

NTA. You are doing the smart thing with this windfall, as well as keeping it to yourself. It's amazing how many people act entitled and the 'Gimmes' come out.

Your friends are being TA. Your boyfriend is TA. 🚩

This man (and your friends) are showing their true colors. He shouldn't be pressuring you for anything.

He just wants access to that money.🚩

PS: Consider going no contact or low contact with these 'friends' while you process all this.

From FitOrFat-1999:

NTA. Unfortunately, your boyfriend now sees you as an ATM, not a girlfriend. It's NOT you, a sudden influx of money shows people's true colors. He and your 'friends' will not leave you alone about this either.

They will suck you dry of the money and then dump you. I would dump him and block them, then move ASAP. You need new friends.

Princesszelda24 wrote:

NTA. Red flags. After only 7 months of dating, how did he decide he was entitled to your money? Not only that but you're childfree and he's clearly not. How do you think that's gonna play out? Leave him now or be regretful later.

MadHatter_1391 wrote:

NTA! You should absolutely not be buying extravagant gifts for your BF of less than a year with your new-found winnings. He’s trying to use you.

He also blurted out your secret to a bunch of people when he didn’t get his way, thereby making your life more difficult. Dump him and listen to a financial advisor. Don’t cave to peer pressure. Congrats on your good luck.

EvilFinch wrote:

NTA. Just 7 months and he just makes demands. Haha. That he also spread the news of your win. He behaves as if it is his money.

Well, I bet he thinks it is his money. You need to end it. He just sees the $$$, he doesn't care about you anymore. Congrats for your win! Don't let others tell you what to do with it. Your plan sound great. Be careful - greed is dangerous.

It seems clear the internet has come to a consensus: it's time for OP to dump her boyfriend, given the massive red flags.