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<p>Getting proposed in front of a room of people can be deeply romantic, if it&#39;s something your partner knows you&#39;re on board for. But sharing that very intense moment in front of an audience isn&#39;t everyone&#39;s cup of tea, particularly at another family&#39;s wedding reception.</p><p>While there&#39;s no hard and fast rule about what constitutes an appropriate proposal setting, it&#39;s fairly common sense that you don&#39;t propose at someone else&#39;s wedding because it&#39;s a <em>major </em>spotlight steal.</p><h2>In a recent post on the <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cvxr4l/aita_for_intentionally_ruining_my_bfs_proposal/" target="_blank">Am I The *sshole subreddit</a>, a woman shared how she shut down her BF&#39;s proposal at her dad&#39;s wedding reception.</h2><p> </p><blockquote> <p>&quot;AITA for intentionally ruining my BF&#39;s proposal?&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>She shared that her BF had been hinting at a surprise all throughout the reception and she noticed him clutching something in his trouser pocket that could easily have been a ring box.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;BF and I were at my father&#39;s wedding reception, and my entire family and dad&#39;s friends were there. BF been dropping hints all day about a surprise he had planned and he kept putting his hand in his trouser pocket, but when his hand was out of his pocket I saw something that could have very easily been a ring box.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>When OP saw her BF finish a drink and stand up ceremoniously, she quickly pulled him into another room.</h2><p>OP then told him that it wasn&#39;t the time or place to propose.</p><blockquote> <p>&quot;Then at one point he took a deep breath, finished his drink, and started to stand up. I stood up with him, grabbed him by the elbow and dragged him into another room and said &quot;if you&#39;re about to do what I think you&#39;re about to do, then don&#39;t tell me, just don&#39;t do it here and now.&quot; He said it was meant to be a surprise and I said this wasn&#39;t the place to surprise me.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2>OP&#39;s boyfriend then revealed that the ring was her paternal grandmother&#39;s and that her dad and stepmom had already approved the engagement plan.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;He then showed me the ring and it&#39;s my (paternal) grandmother&#39;s engagement ring, which he couldn&#39;t have had without my dad giving it to him. He then told me that dad and my stepmum had already approved his plan of proposing tonight, but I&#39;d sort of put him off proposing tonight as it was no longer a surprise and I&#39;d explicitly told him not to literally seconds ago. I had no idea they&#39;d approved it or I would have just let him get on with it, and I&#39;d have said yes.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>Now, with the knowledge that the reception proposal was family approved, OP feels like she messed up the special moment.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;I feel like I fucked up here. Did I?&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/sunrisebutterwort/">sunrisebutterwort</a> completely empathizes with OP, and thinks proposing at the reception would&#39;ve been a tacky move even with permission.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;NAH. People who propose or announce pregnancies or engagements at somebody&#39;s else&#39;s wedding occupy a special level of suck. so no, you definitely did not fuck up. and even if your dad and stepmum gave permission to bf to do this, it still does not mean he should do it. He shouldn&#39;t have asked them in the first place as it&#39;s such a big ask, and they may have assented because they felt like they had no choice. weddings are about the bride and groom, plain and simple.&quot;</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>&quot;As for your bf, I kind of give him a pass in even trying this on as young guys tend of think of weddings as family reunions in fancy dress. he may simply not understand wedding etiquette or...simple courtesy. but he&#39;ll learn fast enough once you guys start planning your own!&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/judyblumereference/">judyblumereference</a> asked if OP and her BF have discussed proposal preferences in depth, since a public proposal is a big move for anyone.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;NAH. Have you guys talked about proposals at all? Even if your dad and stepmom were cool with it, are you interested in being in public when proposed to, or would you have enjoyed being proposed to at someone else&#39;s wedding? It sucks that you ruined the surprise but it seems you were caught way off guard, maybe time to get on the same page.&quot;</p> </blockquote><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cvxr4l/aita_for_intentionally_ruining_my_bfs_proposal/" target="_blank">DrowsiestApproval</a> thinks no one was wrong in the situation.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;NAH. It&#39;s sweet what he was trying to do, but this is supposed to be a special memory for both of you, meaning both of you should be comfortable when it happens.&quot;</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>&quot;Your family who was in on the plan, your boyfriend, these are all people who love you and presumably want to you be happy. It just so happens that, in this instance, your bf missed the mark. Next time, knowing your preference, he can plan something that the two of you will remember fondly for the rest of your lives.&quot;</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cvxr4l/aita_for_intentionally_ruining_my_bfs_proposal/" target="_blank">Skelechicken</a> thinks even with approval, it&#39;s a bit bizarre to get engaged at someone else&#39;s wedding, and OP&#39;s response was completely understandable.</h2><blockquote> <p>&quot;NAH. It&#39;s cool that he got approval, but it really is sort of a strange thing to propose at someone else&#39;s wedding reception. You were being very thoughtful for picking up on the signs and trying to discretely save the evening.&quot;</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>&quot;I suspect this will all be put behind everyone as just a big comedy of errors. No harm no foul here.&quot;</p> </blockquote><p>At this point, everyone seems to understand where OP was coming from, hopefully her boyfriend does as well so he can get on with proposing in a less anxiety-inducing setting.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Woman asks if she was wrong for stopping boyfriend from proposing at her dad's wedding.

Getting proposed in front of a room of people can be deeply romantic, if it&#39;s something your partner knows you&#39;re on board for. But sharing that very intense moment in front of an audience isn&#39;t everyone&#39;s cup of tea, particularly at another family&#39;s wedding reception.While there&#39;s no hard and fast rule about what constitutes an appropriate proposal setting, it&#39;s fairly common sense that you don&#39;t propose at someone else&#39;s wedding because it&#39;s a major spotlight steal.In a recent post on the Am I The *sshole subreddit, a woman shared how she shut down her BF&#39;s proposal at her dad&#39;s wedding reception.  &quot;AITA for intentionally ruining my BF&#39;s proposal?&quot; She shared that her BF had been hinting at a surprise all throughout the reception and she noticed him clutching something in his trouser pocket that could easily have been a ring box. &quot;BF and I were at my father&#39;s wedding reception, and my entire family and dad&#39;s friends were there. BF been dropping hints all day about a surprise he had planned and he kept putting his hand in his trouser pocket, but when his hand was out of his pocket I saw something that could have very easily been a ring box.&quot; When OP saw her BF finish a drink and stand up ceremoniously, she quickly pulled him into another room.OP then told him that it wasn&#39;t the time or place to propose. &quot;Then at one point he took a deep breath, finished his drink, and started to stand up. I stood up with him, grabbed him by the elbow and dragged him into another room and said &quot;if you&#39;re about to do what I think you&#39;re about to do, then don&#39;t tell me, just don&#39;t do it here and now.&quot; He said it was meant to be a surprise and I said this wasn&#39;t the place to surprise me.&quot; OP&#39;s boyfriend then revealed that the ring was her paternal grandmother&#39;s and that her dad and stepmom had already approved the engagement plan. &quot;He then showed me the ring and it&#39;s my (paternal) grandmother&#39;s engagement ring, which he couldn&#39;t have had without my dad giving it to him. He then told me that dad and my stepmum had already approved his plan of proposing tonight, but I&#39;d sort of put him off proposing tonight as it was no longer a surprise and I&#39;d explicitly told him not to literally seconds ago. I had no idea they&#39;d approved it or I would have just let him get on with it, and I&#39;d have said yes.&quot; Now, with the knowledge that the reception proposal was family approved, OP feels like she messed up the special moment. &quot;I feel like I fucked up here. Did I?&quot; sunrisebutterwort completely empathizes with OP, and thinks proposing at the reception would&#39;ve been a tacky move even with permission. &quot;NAH. People who propose or announce pregnancies or engagements at somebody&#39;s else&#39;s wedding occupy a special level of suck. so no, you definitely did not fuck up. and even if your dad and stepmum gave permission to bf to do this, it still does not mean he should do it. He shouldn&#39;t have asked them in the first place as it&#39;s such a big ask, and they may have assented because they felt like they had no choice. weddings are about the bride and groom, plain and simple.&quot;  &quot;As for your bf, I kind of give him a pass in even trying this on as young guys tend of think of weddings as family reunions in fancy dress. he may simply not understand wedding etiquette or...simple courtesy. but he&#39;ll learn fast enough once you guys start planning your own!&quot; judyblumereference asked if OP and her BF have discussed proposal preferences in depth, since a public proposal is a big move for anyone. &quot;NAH. Have you guys talked about proposals at all? Even if your dad and stepmom were cool with it, are you interested in being in public when proposed to, or would you have enjoyed being proposed to at someone else&#39;s wedding? It sucks that you ruined the surprise but it seems you were caught way off guard, maybe time to get on the same page.&quot; DrowsiestApproval thinks no one was wrong in the situation. &quot;NAH. It&#39;s sweet what he was trying to do, but this is supposed to be a special memory for both of you, meaning both of you should be comfortable when it happens.&quot;  &quot;Your family who was in on the plan, your boyfriend, these are all people who love you and presumably want to you be happy. It just so happens that, in this instance, your bf missed the mark. Next time, knowing your preference, he can plan something that the two of you will remember fondly for the rest of your lives.&quot; Skelechicken thinks even with approval, it&#39;s a bit bizarre to get engaged at someone else&#39;s wedding, and OP&#39;s response was completely understandable. &quot;NAH. It&#39;s cool that he got approval, but it really is sort of a strange thing to propose at someone else&#39;s wedding reception. You were being very thoughtful for picking up on the signs and trying to discretely save the evening.&quot;  &quot;I suspect this will all be put behind everyone as just a big comedy of errors. No harm no foul here.&quot; At this point, everyone seems to understand where OP was coming from, hopefully her boyfriend does as well so he can get on with proposing in a less anxiety-inducing setting.

Getting proposed in front of a room of people can be deeply romantic, if it's something your partner knows you're on board for.