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Woman ditches family Thanksgiving because of sister's dog; whole family is mad.

Woman ditches family Thanksgiving because of sister's dog; whole family is mad.


Some people are super into dogs, and others aren't.

On the surface, this statement doesn't seem controversial. But in real life, the experience gap between people who love dogs and those who prefer distance can cause serious tension.

In a popular AITA post, a woman asked if she was wrong for ditching family Thanksgiving after seeing her sister's dog was there.

She wrote:

AITA for going home because of my sister's dog being at Thanksgiving​​​​​​?

I'll (F33) preface this with I don't like dogs. My sister (F29) has a dog that she says her world revolves around. Which is fine, she can do her thing. I just have an issue when it affects me. It is a breed that sheds a lot.

Like she regularly has dog hair on her clothes. I don't eat food at/from my sister's house. I've found dog hair in her cooking before so I gently pass on her dishes. Privately I have told my mom that I don't like her dog around food and I won't eat my sister's dishes.

We were supposed to have thanksgiving at my parents' house, Neither my sister or I live at our parents' anymore. I arrive a little early to offer to help and see my sister was already there. Well, I walk in and see my sister's dog is at my mom's house.

I've never been at my mom's house when my sister's dog is there. Well, I also found out my sister had been there all day helping my mom cook. Apparently, she had offered a few days earlier and my mom accepted. I didn't know this was happening.

Next thing I know the dog is trotting through the kitchen. This whole situation was too much and I told them I wouldn't be eating this food. They ask why, I tell them why. My sister says I'm blowing things out of proportion.

Mentions lots of people eat food prepared where dogs are nearby. I tell her I'm not one of those people. I just decide to go home. I leave the pies I made and ended up ordering Chinese.

When dinner was supposed to happen my phone was blowing up and I was told I should have just dealt with it by multiple family members. So AITA?

People were quick to throw in their two cents.

genxerbear wrote:

NTA. Sounds like your sister has a messy house and the dog is not properly groomed either. I totally get it and you shouldn’t have to put up with the dog mess.

capmanor1755 wrote:

YTA but only for your failure to communicate.

You're approaching this as if your stance is common and therefore your family was being unreasonable. There are 69 million dog owners and 45 million cat owners in the US, most all of whom eat food prepared around pets.

Most people would refuse to eat food in a home where pets were licking off the dishes but most people would not refuse to eat food in a home where a dog was present.

You absolutely have the right to have an atypical stance on eating around dogs but because it's atypical, you'll need to take the lead on communicating it.

To avoid being an a**hole you need to explain the extent of your aversion and ask for their support. I would use terms like phobia, as what you are describing falls into that level of severity.

Your family relationships will do better if you own up to having an unusual and very strong phobia against eating around pets. Ask your mom and sister if they are open to accommodating you, rather than suggesting that they're unhygienic beasts.

You'll be more likely to preserve your family relationships.

SoloPiName wrote:

YTA. I am absolutely not a dog fan but unless they were wiping their utensils on his butt, I think you're being pretty dramatic.

Forsaken_Woodpecker1 wrote:

NTA it’s not like you rubbed their noses in it it made them pick out the dog hairs. They know the dog makes you uncomfortable, and you left. If you were being dramatic or controlling, you would’ve stayed to argue.

Ceecee_soup wrote:

As someone with many animals this whole post is hilarious. You ruined your own holiday bc you once found a dog hair in your food? I mean you’re not an AH bc you didn’t do anything to anyone else here but come on OP, was that not a bit dramatic?

PerkyLurkey wrote:

NTA and dog hair is gross. If your sister is covered in dog hair, it’s in her clothes and definitely on her sleeves, which end up in the food.

If the dog is permitted in the kitchen, you know she was alternating between petting the dog, feeding the dog scraps, which is unhygienic.

I guess she doesn’t regularly brush the dog, which would tamp down on the amounts of flying puffs of fur, which means she’s become blind to the amount of dog hair in her life.

I’m with you, I wouldn’t eat her food either, and wouldn’t have stayed to eat a dinner she had helped prepare. So sorry you are dealing with this.

ToriBethATX wrote:

NTA. I have dogs. I love dogs. They are generally not allowed in the kitchen, particularly when I'm making food.

Lots of people may eat food prepared where dogs are nearby, but that doesn't mean the dogs were running around in the kitchen shedding everywhere including the food. They don't eat food with HAIR (of any animal) it.

Keep in mind that is something that could easily and swiftly get any place where food is made shut down, temporarily or permanently depending on the number of times such complaints get filed. You dealt with it by choosing to go home.

Your family are AHs for telling you that. Your mom is an AH for not telling you your sister was going to be helping with the dog running around when she KNOWS your problem.

Your sister is an AH for acting like it doesn't matter and everyone should just eat her dog's sheddings and not taking into account SAFE food prep habits.

Tell your family this (politely) and that at least you left the pies you SAFELY made, as you could have just taken them home with you.

Cheque-Plz wrote:

YTA. That is really extreme to not eat food because a dog was nearby when it was made? Maybe you have some personal aspects that have created this level of issue, but your family clearly didn't know that.

If you'd just arrived and asked the dog to be put outside you'd be NTA but the food thing is dramatic AF.

One thing is clear: no one can agree on this one. So if you have a hot take, it's not too late to share it and add to the court of dog-related opinions.

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