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<p>You know what&#39;s stressful? Well, most things in life...but especially giving birth. Everyday I am amazed that women literally birth human lives from inside them. Like, I honestly don&#39;t know how we do it. And I&#39;m just talking about the part where you have to push the baby out, not the added part where you have to deal with friends and family who want to be in the room.</p><p>A woman on <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/cpl234/wibta_for_not_telling_my_motherinlaw_when_i_go/" target="_blank">reddit</a> is currently dealing a mother-in-law who wants to be at the birth of her child. Her mother-in-law has caused a scene when it came to being in the room while she gave birth in the past, and this woman is wondering if it would be okay to avoid this problem by not telling her when she goes into labor.</p><p>She explains:</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>This relates to around when our first kid was born and I&#39;m going to try to make this short. We just moved from out-of-state and were living with my in-laws until we got our own place. I was overdue and induced.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>When we were on our way around 10 pm my MIL called saying she was on her way too. No biggie, it&#39;s her first grandchild so she&#39;s understandably excited. She decided on her own that she was going to stay with us overnight.</p> </blockquote><h2>But what started out as seemingly &quot;no biggie,&quot; began to escalate over time.</h2><blockquote> <p>Fast forward to the next morning. I&#39;m a pretty sentimental person and was going through some depressed feelings about having this baby. I was going to miss my alone time with my husband and wanted to spend some moments with only him.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I&#39;m not very outspoken so when MIL was in the bathroom I suggested to my husband that he ask her if she wants to go home to freshen up or eat breakfast or rest. Seriously nothing was happening still besides me laying in the hospital bed and having contractions that were super tolerable. He suggests it to her and she leaves, seemingly no problems.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>About 15 minutes later we get a call from my brother-in-law and he sounded kinda pissed. He said that MIL called him bawling saying that we don&#39;t want her there and told her to leave. My husband had to call her and apologize and practically beg her to come back.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>She showed back up as if everything was normal and decided to stay in the room until I wanted my epidural. I wasn&#39;t allowed to have anyone else in the room, even my husband, when I was getting it but I learned after that she was going around saying that I kicked her out again. After it was done she came back in again as if everything was fine.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Couple hours passed and baby was finally coming, for <em>months</em> I had emphasized the only person I want in the room was my husband. Yet again this woman starts crying when asked to leave. 20 mins after delivery there I am laying spread eagle on the delivery table and having my hoo-ha stitched up and bonding with baby, my MIL walks in.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>The meds finally start wearing off and I am pissed but still don&#39;t say anything. I spent the entire time worrying about her and making sure that I wasn&#39;t stepping on her toes.</p> </blockquote><h2>Obviously, it sucks to have this very personal, monumental event in your life overshadowed by your mother-in-law&#39;s insecurities and behavior. And given this scenario, it&#39;s unsurprising to learn that this woman has had a rocky relationship with her mother-in-law all along.</h2><blockquote> <p>I could probably write a book on shitty things that my MIL has said/done to me. Putting all that aside, this one is the main reason why I don&#39;t want her to know when I&#39;m going into labor. My husband really understands why I feel this way and says it is up to me but I have to be ready for the consequences of my decision.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>She&#39;s always been over-dramatic and I don&#39;t want to be dealing with her when I&#39;m supposed to be focusing on myself and the baby. I really don&#39;t want her to be there. WIBTA?</p> </blockquote><h2>The people of reddit spoke, and most of them had this woman&#39;s back.</h2><h2>78october said:</h2><blockquote> <p>NTA. and no you shouldn&rsquo;t be prepared to deal with the consequences. Your husband should shield you from those circumstances. He needs to step up and protect you from his mother and her machinations.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>grumpypionus made this great point:</p><blockquote> <p>NTA. Labor is a medical procedure, not a damn spectator sport.</p> </blockquote><h2>Some people pointed out that the husband was also in the wrong here.</h2><p>RunningTrisarahtop said:</p><blockquote> <p>NTA. Your husband is an asshole along with his mom.</p> <p>His response to his brother should have been &ldquo;we needed privacy, mom needs to calm down and she will meet the baby soon enough.&rdquo;</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>If she stayed he should have said &ldquo;mom, you need to leave now.&rdquo;</p> <p>When she walked back in he should have said &ldquo;Mom!!! What the heck! Get out of here!&rdquo;</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>And he should say &ldquo;mom, we want to do things differently this time. When baby is here we will call. We don&rsquo;t want company till after the baby arrives&rdquo;.</p> </blockquote><p>Thezazzthaxaxx</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Yeah this is especially frustrating because it shows that he put his mothers wishes in front of his wife&#39;s. Not cool dude. Shes the one who&#39;s vagina is about to get ripped to bring these babies into the world. She gets to decide who is there. Jesus this is so not about her and he needs to help.</p> </blockquote><p>Certain_Concept said:</p><blockquote> <p>Note the &#39;my&#39; decision and not our decision. Not our consequences.. but hers.</p> <p>They are married. They should make group decisions and appear as a united front before their other family/friends.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Instead this pretty mush shows that he is choosing a side.. and not that of his wife&#39;s. He plans on putting his wife front and center for his mothers angry emotions?</p> </blockquote><p>And finally, bluehills29 had the perfect suggestion:</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>NTA. You might want to let everyone know that you won&#39;t be telling them until the baby is born, and won&#39;t be having visitors at the hospital until you notify them you and the baby are up to it. Don&#39;t argue about reasons, just repeat, and get your husband to repeat, that the two of you have made that decision together and won&#39;t be discussing it further.</p> </blockquote><h2>After all of the support, the woman who wrote the original post gave an update. Here is a condensed version:</h2><blockquote> <p>edit: thank you so much everyone for the responses! Back when we were living with my in-laws I was severely depressed and felt like since they were sharing their home with us I didn&#39;t have a say in a lot and felt like I just needed to be grateful, so I didn&#39;t say a lot.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>We were paying weekly rent and buying groceries but I never felt comfortable there. For example, my MIL and BIL used to make shit up and put it in my head that my husband was cheating on me.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>My PPD was pretty bad because of them. I love my husband and he is also an amazing father. I tell him he&#39;s a closet Mama&#39;s boy but he just denies it over and over.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>He&#39;s chewed her out before though for stuff that she&#39;s said. I&#39;ve developed more of a spine now being on our own and realizing how much fucked up shit they put me through and put in my head.</p> </blockquote><h2>The day you give birth is about you and your baby(ies). Whatever you are comfortable with should be what everyone understands will happen, without protest. The lady pushing human life out of her hoo-ha gets to call the shots.</h2><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Pregnant woman asks if she's wrong to lie to MIL to keep her away from delivery.

You know what&#39;s stressful? Well, most things in life...but especially giving birth. Everyday I am amazed that women literally birth human lives from inside them. Like, I honestly don&#39;t know how we do it. And I&#39;m just talking about the part where you have to push the baby out, not the added part where you have to deal with friends and family who want to be in the room.A woman on reddit is currently dealing a mother-in-law who wants to be at the birth of her child. Her mother-in-law has caused a scene when it came to being in the room while she gave birth in the past, and this woman is wondering if it would be okay to avoid this problem by not telling her when she goes into labor.She explains: This relates to around when our first kid was born and I&#39;m going to try to make this short. We just moved from out-of-state and were living with my in-laws until we got our own place. I was overdue and induced.  When we were on our way around 10 pm my MIL called saying she was on her way too. No biggie, it&#39;s her first grandchild so she&#39;s understandably excited. She decided on her own that she was going to stay with us overnight. But what started out as seemingly &quot;no biggie,&quot; began to escalate over time. Fast forward to the next morning. I&#39;m a pretty sentimental person and was going through some depressed feelings about having this baby. I was going to miss my alone time with my husband and wanted to spend some moments with only him.  I&#39;m not very outspoken so when MIL was in the bathroom I suggested to my husband that he ask her if she wants to go home to freshen up or eat breakfast or rest. Seriously nothing was happening still besides me laying in the hospital bed and having contractions that were super tolerable. He suggests it to her and she leaves, seemingly no problems.  About 15 minutes later we get a call from my brother-in-law and he sounded kinda pissed. He said that MIL called him bawling saying that we don&#39;t want her there and told her to leave. My husband had to call her and apologize and practically beg her to come back.  She showed back up as if everything was normal and decided to stay in the room until I wanted my epidural. I wasn&#39;t allowed to have anyone else in the room, even my husband, when I was getting it but I learned after that she was going around saying that I kicked her out again. After it was done she came back in again as if everything was fine.  Couple hours passed and baby was finally coming, for months I had emphasized the only person I want in the room was my husband. Yet again this woman starts crying when asked to leave. 20 mins after delivery there I am laying spread eagle on the delivery table and having my hoo-ha stitched up and bonding with baby, my MIL walks in.  The meds finally start wearing off and I am pissed but still don&#39;t say anything. I spent the entire time worrying about her and making sure that I wasn&#39;t stepping on her toes. Obviously, it sucks to have this very personal, monumental event in your life overshadowed by your mother-in-law&#39;s insecurities and behavior. And given this scenario, it&#39;s unsurprising to learn that this woman has had a rocky relationship with her mother-in-law all along. I could probably write a book on shitty things that my MIL has said/done to me. Putting all that aside, this one is the main reason why I don&#39;t want her to know when I&#39;m going into labor. My husband really understands why I feel this way and says it is up to me but I have to be ready for the consequences of my decision.  She&#39;s always been over-dramatic and I don&#39;t want to be dealing with her when I&#39;m supposed to be focusing on myself and the baby. I really don&#39;t want her to be there. WIBTA? The people of reddit spoke, and most of them had this woman&#39;s back.78october said: NTA. and no you shouldn&rsquo;t be prepared to deal with the consequences. Your husband should shield you from those circumstances. He needs to step up and protect you from his mother and her machinations. grumpypionus made this great point: NTA. Labor is a medical procedure, not a damn spectator sport. Some people pointed out that the husband was also in the wrong here.RunningTrisarahtop said: NTA. Your husband is an asshole along with his mom. His response to his brother should have been &ldquo;we needed privacy, mom needs to calm down and she will meet the baby soon enough.&rdquo;  If she stayed he should have said &ldquo;mom, you need to leave now.&rdquo; When she walked back in he should have said &ldquo;Mom!!! What the heck! Get out of here!&rdquo;  And he should say &ldquo;mom, we want to do things differently this time. When baby is here we will call. We don&rsquo;t want company till after the baby arrives&rdquo;. Thezazzthaxaxx Yeah this is especially frustrating because it shows that he put his mothers wishes in front of his wife&#39;s. Not cool dude. Shes the one who&#39;s vagina is about to get ripped to bring these babies into the world. She gets to decide who is there. Jesus this is so not about her and he needs to help. Certain_Concept said: Note the &#39;my&#39; decision and not our decision. Not our consequences.. but hers. They are married. They should make group decisions and appear as a united front before their other family/friends.  Instead this pretty mush shows that he is choosing a side.. and not that of his wife&#39;s. He plans on putting his wife front and center for his mothers angry emotions? And finally, bluehills29 had the perfect suggestion: NTA. You might want to let everyone know that you won&#39;t be telling them until the baby is born, and won&#39;t be having visitors at the hospital until you notify them you and the baby are up to it. Don&#39;t argue about reasons, just repeat, and get your husband to repeat, that the two of you have made that decision together and won&#39;t be discussing it further. After all of the support, the woman who wrote the original post gave an update. Here is a condensed version: edit: thank you so much everyone for the responses! Back when we were living with my in-laws I was severely depressed and felt like since they were sharing their home with us I didn&#39;t have a say in a lot and felt like I just needed to be grateful, so I didn&#39;t say a lot.  We were paying weekly rent and buying groceries but I never felt comfortable there. For example, my MIL and BIL used to make shit up and put it in my head that my husband was cheating on me.  My PPD was pretty bad because of them. I love my husband and he is also an amazing father. I tell him he&#39;s a closet Mama&#39;s boy but he just denies it over and over.  He&#39;s chewed her out before though for stuff that she&#39;s said. I&#39;ve developed more of a spine now being on our own and realizing how much fucked up shit they put me through and put in my head. The day you give birth is about you and your baby(ies). Whatever you are comfortable with should be what everyone understands will happen, without protest. The lady pushing human life out of her hoo-ha gets to call the shots.

You know what&#39;s stressful? Well, most things in life...but especially giving birth. Everyday I am amazed that women literally birth human lives from inside them. Like, I honestly don&#39;t know how we do it. And I&#39;m just talking...