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Woman scolds classmate who 'plays with her food' and wastes it; gets told off. AITA?

Woman scolds classmate who 'plays with her food' and wastes it; gets told off. AITA?


Eating habits are both deeply personal, and one of the most universal human experiences.

We all have to eat a few times a day to survive, but what we eat and how we eat is deeply individual.

However, because we have to eat at work, at school, and pretty much anywhere we spend a full day, which means other people witness our habits. Sometimes, this can get weird.

In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for commenting on another woman's eating habits.

She wrote:

AITA for telling a girl to stop wasting food?

I (21f) usually always sit with the same group of people in my university’s dining area. There’s this girl I’ve talked to a few times, but I’m not really friends with. She’s kind of quiet, but when she finally talks she seems normal.

I’ve sat across from her a few times and noticed how she was eating because it was weird to me. She eats maybe half of her food keep in mind you control the amount of food. It’s cooked by the cafeteria staff buffet-style.

She could easily take less and kind of plays with it with her fork when she’s “done” (aka eating half of it, sometimes even less). I didn’t say anything for a while, but a few weeks ago I had to ask her why she always only ate half her food.

She seemed embarrassed but answered she thought she was more hungry and laughed it off. I then asked her why she made this mistake every time we ate, and that she must have learned by now.

She didn’t really answer (I don’t actually remember, but it wasn’t actually an explanation) and left pretty quickly. She doesn’t really show up that much anymore, but when she does she still eats like this, and I couldn’t hold it in anymore.

I asked her once again, and also asked her if her parents never told her not to play with her food. It was a genuine question, some people are raised in households where manners aren’t important, but obviously, they are for most people.

She got really mad at me and told me to stop commenting on her eating habits and that it was none of my business. I told her that it absolutely was since she was sitting at our table and obviously wasting food.

She told me to go f*ck myself and left and threw out the rest of her food (AGAIN!) After she left, one of my friends told me to leave her alone as she seemed like she was having a hard time and maybe had some sort of issue with food.

Yeah, obviously she has an issue with food? She keeps wasting it! She hasn’t shown up again, I’m assuming she buys her own food now, which might teach her not to waste it so that’s good.

The same friend who told me to leave her alone keeps pestering me to apologize to her, but I think she should apologize to me. She’s unnecessarily rude when being asked the most basic and obvious questions and also told me to go f**k myself?

That’s way harsher than anything I’ve ever told her. Keep in mind that I care a lot about food waste and the environment. AITA for telling a girl to stop wasting food?

People did not hold back.

CortaNalgas wrote:

YTA. 'Some people are raised in a households where manners aren’t important.'Apparently, that includes you because you’re rude as hell.

secondarytrash wrote:

YTA. It was hard to even read the whole thing. Why are you so concerned about what this stranger is doing in the cafeteria?

As much as I hate seeing wasted food what do you think is happening to all the food that isn’t eaten that’s cooked at your school? It goes to waste. Same thing happens at a lot of fast food chains and restaurants.

The fact that you really kind of don’t understand how awkward and embarrassing it is that you felt confident enough to walk up to someone and ask why they don’t eat all their food / is wasteful is odd to me.

What if she always thinks she’s able to eat more than she actually is able to? Thinks a dish is going to be good but then after a few bites decides it’s not? Who are you really to say? The fact that you feel entitled to an answer to the question is also odd.

JegHaderStatistik wrote:

YTA. Don't comment on people's eating habits, you don't know if its an underlying ED or whatever reason. She doesn't need to justify it to you.

pinkvia24 wrote:

YTA speaking of your parents did they not teach you manners? Mind your own business. She may have an eating disorder so stop being nosy.

mewley wrote:

Jesus f*$%#ng Christ, yes YTA. First off, you barely know this person. It’s not your fucking place to comment on her eating habits, period. At all. Like just zip your lips, it’s none of your business what she eats or doesn’t eat.

Second, it sure as hell isn’t your place to repeatedly scold and try to correct her. This isn’t about manners! She doesn’t owe you an explanation or have to live up to your personal preferences just because she sits near you!

Third, you have no idea what might be going on with her health, physical or mental. Which is why - again, since you seem stubborn - it’s not your place to have an opinion or make a comment on it.

I don’t know what you thought you set out to do by hassling her, but all you have accomplished is letting your friends know you’re an AH and isolating someone who may already be in a vulnerable place.

After getting thoroughly dragged, OP jumped on with an update.

EDIT: OK! I’m the a**hole! Sorry, I’m not studying to be an eating disorder specialist. I looked up stuff about it and I’m realizing I was too harsh. I’ll apologize the next time I see her and try not to be so condescending.

But you should all follow your own advice. If people genuinely don’t know something you should tell them nicely instead, and I realize I should’ve tried to educate her NICELY about food waste and not have commented at all on how she was eating.

Clearly, OP didn't get the response she expected.

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