Woman kicks husband and kids out in cold temps on Christmas Eve so she can bake. AITA?
Holiday baking is one of the most fun seasonal activities.
There's nothing quite like posting up in the kitchen and blasting your favorite holiday album while you go to town on some cookies. The all-immersive experience of creating sugary delights is a win-win for all, that is, until it comes time to clean up.
The clean-up portion of holiday baking has caused many a domestic squabble, and this year was no different for a lot of households.
To this very point, in a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for not cleaning up after her Christmas baking session.
She wrote:
AITA for not cleaning the kitchen after I did a lot of Christmas baking?
I love baking, it's one of my favorite hobbies. So, of course, I love baking Christmas goodies. Every year I get requests from family members to make specific things they like for our family get-togethers.
I don't always make everything people ask for, but sometimes I get carried away. This year, my husband and I were hosting my family for Christmas day, so I wanted to do a lot of baking on the days leading up to the gathering.
I had Friday off of work so I got a fair amount done, but not as much as I wanted to because our 3 kids were home from school and I kept getting distracted.
So, on Saturday, I told my husband to take the kids out of the house for a few hours so that I could focus on baking. He really didn't want to do that because it was Christmas Eve and it was cold (we did have a dangerous wind chill warning).
I told him that there was no way I could get all the baking done that I wanted to if he and the kids were in the house so I needed him to take them out to do something, anything, I don't care what.
He reluctantly agreed and I was able to get everything done that I wanted to. After I was done, I was exhausted and laid on the couch for a few minutes to rest before cleaning up the disaster in the kitchen.
I must have fallen asleep because I got woken up by my husband loudly doing the dishes. I went to the kitchen and told him that I had planned on cleaning up, but I must have fallen asleep.
I offered to take over for him, but he said he was almost done so there's no point. I could tell he wasn't happy since he was basically rage-cleaning mixing bowls.
He asked if I got all my baking done and I told him that I did and I was really happy with how everything turned out. He simply replied 'Good' without even taking his eyes off what he was doing.
I asked him how the outing was with the kids and he just said 'Fine.' I knew something was up so I asked him what was wrong.
He said I kicked him out of the house so that I could do my 'hobby' on one of the coldest days of the year and then he comes home to a huge mess in the kitchen and me napping on the couch.
I told him I didn't plan on falling asleep and had every intention of cleaning up after myself, but he didn't seem to care. He told me that he needs to start dinner because the kids are hungry so he's going to do that as soon as he finishes cleaning up 'your huge mess.'
I told him I was sorry for falling asleep without cleaning and offered to cook dinner so he can relax, but he told me that he just wants to be left alone for an hour while he cooks.
This isn't the first time that he's cleaned up after one of my baking marathons. When he cooks, he does dishes as he goes, but I can't multitask like that. So I leave the dishes until I'm done.
Sometimes I get distracted with kids or something else and unintentionally leave a mess in the kitchen. But usually, I can get him to at least let me take over for him if he starts cleaning up after me.
The people of the internet were quick to share their takes on the situation.
Salt_Statistician_12 wrote:
YTA - who sends their husband and three school-aged children out when there are excessive wind chill warnings to bake? And then doesn‘t clean up? I would be livid to come home to a mess and you napping.
ReadingSad3238 wrote:
Yeah this is a super easy YTA. I don't even understand how op typed it all out and doesn't get it. I'd be absolutely peeved if my SO kicked me and our 3 children out in dangerous weather to BAKE.
And even more so if I came home to a messy kitchen and them asleep on the couch. This was insanely selfish and disrespectful to your family, OP. Even if you hadn't fell asleep and they came home to a clean kitchen you would still be TA.
2020_albertpete wrote:
Why would you prioritize baking over family time on the 24th? It's the day before Christmas and the kids are usually so excited. Family is more important than baking.
My husband chooses to cook over spending time with the family and our kids have asked him to spend time with us rather than cook all day. He then leaves an enormous mess to clean up, when we would have rather spent time with him than a fancy meal.
PasswordisPurrito wrote:
'He really didn't want to do that because it was Xmas Eve and it was cold (we did have a dangerous wind chill warning).'
This isn't about the dishes. This is about forcing your husband out of the house with zero warning, on Christmas Eve, and on a day with dangerous weather conditions about.
This isn't like a summer's day where he can just take him to the park. What is supposed to do with them, take them shopping? YTA for kicking your husband and kids out of the house on Christmas Eve.
ChamomileBrownies wrote:
Yeah, the dishes weren't the issue for me. Then kicking your family out on Christmas Eve gets me. Why couldn't the kids help with some of the baking? Easy way to keep them occupied and stay on task.
You're supposed to spend time with your family on Christmas Eve, not view them as a distraction and boot them out of the house (regardless of weather, but in this case it's the cherry on top of the AH pie. YTA, OP.
Clearly, the people of Reddit resonate with OP's husband. Hopefully, this will help OP be more thoughtful next time.