Hosting a lot of family members during the holidays can get logistically tricky, which is why communication with all parties is key.
AITA for causing a family rift because I don't want to sleep outside in my mom's yard on Christmas?
I, 18f, am the youngest out of four kids. My siblings are 31m, 28f and 25m.
We were raised by our dad and stepmom, and our bio mom lives in another country with her husband. She wants me and my siblings to spend Christmas with her this year and has offered to pay for our transport and visas.
My siblings are all married and have kids and are gonna bring their spouses and kids with them. Our mom's house is quite big and she said she'll spread out air mattresses in the living room and there's a guest room.
She didn't say anything specifically to me about where I'd be sleeping so I assumed I'd be sleeping on one of the air mattresses.
Well one of my brothers told me that my mom expects me to sleep in a tent outside. I honestly thought he was messing with me but when I asked my mom about it it turns out she did. The conversation wasn't in English but it basically went like this:
Me: [brother's name] said that you expect me to sleep outside in a tent? Is this true?
Mom: Yeah, I thought you would be fine with having your own tent.
Me: Why didn't you talk to me about it?
Mom: I didn't think it would be a problem. Is it a problem?
Me: it is, I don't want to sleep outside.
Mom: I don't know what you want me to do, there's too many of you.
Me: Can I sleep on the couch?
Mom: No, [husband's name] likes to watch TV late, you'll be a nuisance.
Me: I don't know then, but I'm not sleeping outside. I'd rather not go.
My mom told all my siblings about the conversation and now they're all mad at me and told me to suck it up and go.
They said I'm being selfish and making a fuss about nothing, and that I can't expect any of them to sleep outside with their spouses or kids.
I told my dad about it and he's now royally pissed off with my mom and said that she's being 'a mega b**ch' and alienating me on purpose and they had a huge argument on the phone. My siblings are all mad at me for causing this.
Edit: my mom lives in Western Europe, so it will be very cold there and most likely snow as well.
NTA. The fact that your step-dad wanting to watch tv at night is more important than you being able to sleep inside tells you exactly where you stand in your mother’s priority list.
If your AH siblings continue to pretend that sleeping outside in a tent during winter isn’t a big deal, tell them that you accept their offer to switch beds with them.
I live in Western Europe, it's snowing outside as I type this, no way I'd sleep outside in this weather.
And I somehow doubt OP's mum will provide the equipment necessary to sleep comfortably outside in sub-zero temperature, the sleeping bags made for this alone are pretty expensive.
NTA, What kind of person expects a guest (regardless of whether they are family or not) to sleep in a tent outside when everyone else gets a cozy mattress inside. I just can’t wrap my head around that.
NTA. Your mother and her husband are putting you below his desire to watch TV at night.
He can suck it up and skip TV for a few days, or he can move the TV to the bedroom for the duration of the visit and watch TV in the comfort of his own bedroom.
Or he can move the TV to a tent in the yard and watch it out there.
NTA. Tell the husband to stop 'being selfish and making a fuss about' watching tv late.
Your mother called you a 'would be nuisance' and decided that she'd rather make you uncomfortable than make her husband uncomfortable.
Why can't the husband spend a few days without late-night television instead of you spending nights outside while everybody else is inside, like an outside dog? Your siblings decided that it's best to make you uncomfortable because you're single and childless.
They created the situation by devaluing your comfort on the basis of your marital status. Had you been older, married and with kids, better planning would have happened.
If they had more respect for people regardless of whether or not they made babies yet, this would not have happened. They all suck. NTA.
Clearly, the internet ison OP's side. The question left at hand is whether her mom will stop being a weirdo.