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<h2>Love may be a many splendid thing, but there are just as many ways it can all go wrong. Especially once you live together.</h2><p>When a woman with an impressive career drew a boundary with her boyfriend who had recently moved in, she found herself consulting the popular Reddit forum <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/v9tw6c/aita_for_refusing_to_give_my_partner_the_code_to/">AITA (am I the as*hole)</a> for answers.</p><h2>&quot;AITA for refusing to give my partner the code to my safe?&quot;</h2><blockquote> <p>I 32(f) and a Gemologist, I spend my days in the lab testing and identifying stones. From the nature of my work I also have a large and valuable collection of jewellery but also gem specimens that I keep in a safe I specifically bought and had installed to keep them safe. I also have a second smaller safe for keeping important documents like passports.</p> </blockquote><p>Smart!</p><blockquote> <p>I own my home and my boyfriend (33m) of 2 years recently moved in as he was renting before. I gave him the code to the smaller safe so he could put valuables in it, but he also wants the code for my gem safe. Not to put anything in it, but he says because we are living together now I should trust him and give him the code.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>I&rsquo;ve said no because he has no reason to open the safe as the only thing it&rsquo;s used for is storing my collection, he&rsquo;s said he has no interest in my gem collection, doesn&rsquo;t want to look at them, but still wants the code to access them.</p> </blockquote><p>...Why?</p><blockquote> <p>This is causing tension because he says I should give it to him as a show of trust, and I said no, because he literally has no reason to go in there so he doesn&rsquo;t need the code. This is a 6 figure collection so I&rsquo;m not being difficult over a few little gems here. I am the only one who knows the code.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>So what&#39;s the verdict? Is she being precious about her precious gems, or is he not respecting her boundaries?</h2><p>The high court of Reddit had a lot of theories for why he would be so demanding of the code, but everyone could pretty much agree on one thing: <strong>OP (original poster) is NTA (not the as*hole).</strong></p><blockquote> <p>Definitely nta. I wouldn&#39;t trust anybody with the code. Money does weird things to people. Even the ones you trust completely. - <a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Satansbiscuit666/">Satansbiscuit666</a></p> </blockquote><p>And most of the forum had similar thoughts.</p><blockquote> <p>Don&#39;t tell him how much you have either. Protect your assets. Money does weird shit to people. The fact he is manipulating and putting pressure on you to give him something He. Does. Not. Need. is giving me untrustworthy vibes.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>&quot;If you trusted me you&#39;d do it&quot; makes me puke. If he loved you he wouldn&#39;t need to ask twice and take your No as an answer and respect that. Use your insurance validation excuse if you need to provide one.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>Even in marriage my other half does not have access to my inheritance, they did not want it. Did not ask for details and we&#39;ve been together over 30 years. His entitlement to your information is worrisome at such an early stage of your relationship. If you&#39;re posting on Reddit your Spidey Scenses are tingling too. Listen to your gut. - <a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/vigorous_pigeon/">vigorous_pigeon</a></p> </blockquote><p> </p><blockquote> <p>The fact he&#39;s pushing the way he is... He&#39;s either wanting access to the safe because he may be considering taking thm if things go south between you down the road, or he&#39;s playing a weird mind game where he asks you to disrespect your own boundaries to prove yourself to him. Neither one is good.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>At the moment, it sounds like the latter but I don&#39;t think that&#39;s any better. I&#39;d proceed with caution and be mindful to be aware of any more red flags he drops, especially ones relating to testing you or general control. Pay attention to your self talk as things progress with him, how he makes you feel (not just the good bits), and if your self esteem starts to drop. - <a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Impossible_Stick_793/">Impossible_Stick_793</a></p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p> </p><blockquote> <p>NTA. There is no reason to know. I really don&rsquo;t follow his reasoning. He doesn&rsquo;t want to go in your safe but he wants to be able to? What is he? A cat? - <a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Poekienijn/">Poekienijn</a></p> <blockquote> <p>Haha I have a cat and this is his energy 100% - <a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/safegfthrowaway/">safegfthrowaway</a> (O.P.)</p> </blockquote> </blockquote><h2>In fact, the O.P. was so impressed by the responses that she edited her original post to add:</h2><blockquote> <p>Holy hell this blew up way more than I ever expected! Im sticking to my guns and I&rsquo;m not giving him the code. All you lovely internet strangers are right, it&rsquo;s a huge marinara flag and I&rsquo;ll be telling him to pack his stuff. I&rsquo;ll update you later. Thank you all for your comments!!</p> </blockquote><h2>Well, it looks like that&#39;s the way the gemstones roll. If you want your partner to prove their love and loyalty to you, it&#39;s best not to include priceless jewels in your order. It&#39;s just a bad look.</h2><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Woman asks if she's wrong to keep her safe's combination a secret from her BF.

Love may be a many splendid thing, but there are just as many ways it can all go wrong. Especially once you live together.When a woman with an impressive career drew a boundary with her boyfriend who had recently moved in, she found herself consulting the popular Reddit forum AITA (am I the as*hole) for answers.&quot;AITA for refusing to give my partner the code to my safe?&quot; I 32(f) and a Gemologist, I spend my days in the lab testing and identifying stones. From the nature of my work I also have a large and valuable collection of jewellery but also gem specimens that I keep in a safe I specifically bought and had installed to keep them safe. I also have a second smaller safe for keeping important documents like passports. Smart! I own my home and my boyfriend (33m) of 2 years recently moved in as he was renting before. I gave him the code to the smaller safe so he could put valuables in it, but he also wants the code for my gem safe. Not to put anything in it, but he says because we are living together now I should trust him and give him the code.   I&rsquo;ve said no because he has no reason to open the safe as the only thing it&rsquo;s used for is storing my collection, he&rsquo;s said he has no interest in my gem collection, doesn&rsquo;t want to look at them, but still wants the code to access them. ...Why? This is causing tension because he says I should give it to him as a show of trust, and I said no, because he literally has no reason to go in there so he doesn&rsquo;t need the code. This is a 6 figure collection so I&rsquo;m not being difficult over a few little gems here. I am the only one who knows the code. So what&#39;s the verdict? Is she being precious about her precious gems, or is he not respecting her boundaries?The high court of Reddit had a lot of theories for why he would be so demanding of the code, but everyone could pretty much agree on one thing: OP (original poster) is NTA (not the as*hole). Definitely nta. I wouldn&#39;t trust anybody with the code. Money does weird things to people. Even the ones you trust completely. - Satansbiscuit666 And most of the forum had similar thoughts. Don&#39;t tell him how much you have either. Protect your assets. Money does weird shit to people. The fact he is manipulating and putting pressure on you to give him something He. Does. Not. Need. is giving me untrustworthy vibes.  &quot;If you trusted me you&#39;d do it&quot; makes me puke. If he loved you he wouldn&#39;t need to ask twice and take your No as an answer and respect that. Use your insurance validation excuse if you need to provide one.  Even in marriage my other half does not have access to my inheritance, they did not want it. Did not ask for details and we&#39;ve been together over 30 years. His entitlement to your information is worrisome at such an early stage of your relationship. If you&#39;re posting on Reddit your Spidey Scenses are tingling too. Listen to your gut. - vigorous_pigeon   The fact he&#39;s pushing the way he is... He&#39;s either wanting access to the safe because he may be considering taking thm if things go south between you down the road, or he&#39;s playing a weird mind game where he asks you to disrespect your own boundaries to prove yourself to him. Neither one is good.  At the moment, it sounds like the latter but I don&#39;t think that&#39;s any better. I&#39;d proceed with caution and be mindful to be aware of any more red flags he drops, especially ones relating to testing you or general control. Pay attention to your self talk as things progress with him, how he makes you feel (not just the good bits), and if your self esteem starts to drop. - Impossible_Stick_793   NTA. There is no reason to know. I really don&rsquo;t follow his reasoning. He doesn&rsquo;t want to go in your safe but he wants to be able to? What is he? A cat? - Poekienijn  Haha I have a cat and this is his energy 100% - safegfthrowaway (O.P.)  In fact, the O.P. was so impressed by the responses that she edited her original post to add: Holy hell this blew up way more than I ever expected! Im sticking to my guns and I&rsquo;m not giving him the code. All you lovely internet strangers are right, it&rsquo;s a huge marinara flag and I&rsquo;ll be telling him to pack his stuff. I&rsquo;ll update you later. Thank you all for your comments!! Well, it looks like that&#39;s the way the gemstones roll. If you want your partner to prove their love and loyalty to you, it&#39;s best not to include priceless jewels in your order. It&#39;s just a bad look.

Love may be a many splendid thing, but there are just as many ways it can all go wrong. Especially once you live together.  When a woman with an impressive career drew a boundary with her boyfriend who had recently moved in, she found...