Gender reveals are all about surprise.
While some parents throw them already secretly knowing the gender, most organize it so it's truly a surprise to all. This usually requires a baker, party planner, or one trusted friend to take the ultrasound results and set up the pink or blue cakes (or in some cases, the explosions).
This secretive process can get tricky if the parents are impatient and press to get told ahead of time.
AITA for “ruining” my friend's gender reveal?
My (27f) friend (29F) is pregnant. She wanted to do a gender reveal, so at her 20-week ultrasound she got the ultrasound technician to write the gender on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope and gave it to me.
She wanted me to order those smoke cannons for her, her husband and their kids to pop at a photograph session to reveal what their new baby is going to be. Personally, I don’t see the point in them, but it made my friend happy and I felt honoured that she trusted me with such a secret.
When she handed me the envelope she made me swear that under no circumstances I would tell her what it is no matter how much she begged, or tell anyone else. I agreed.
Fast forward, I’ve had this envelope for 2 weeks now, I’ve ordered the cannons and the gender reveal is in a few days.
For the past two weeks my friend has HOUNDED me with texts begging me to just tell her what it is, but then following up with “actually no I don’t want to know”. And it’s just been going back and forth like that.
The texts were annoying but I just ignored it and understood she was just excited. But the past 3 days she had begun hounding me at work. I work an office job and I’m in and out of meetings all day.
After the first day of a call into my work I asked her to please just chill out and stop calling me at work. I reminded her that she made me promise not to tell and she’d find out soon enough. Here is where I may be the a**hole, I’d been having a crappy day at work with a particular client being a giant PAITA.
I was stuck in a meeting with this client and the receptionist stuck her head in and said I had an urgent phone call, thought it may have been my kid's school so I excused myself and took the call.
It was my “friend” AGAIN. I just snapped and told her if she wanted to know so badly it’s a boy!” And then I hung up the phone. My husband thinks I’m in the right because there is only so much one person can take.
But our mutual friends are calling me the AH because I should have just kept my mouth shut. So AITA?
EDIT: I’ve seen a few people concerned about these “cannons” these aren’t the same type that have caused devastation and loss of life by causing fires.
They are pressurized with air and powder inside them in nonflammable so they don’t pose any fire hazard. But I completely understand and appreciate people’s concern.
Update: finally got one of our mutual friends to respond to me and tell me what they were told.
Turns out as another commenter had guessed, they were told a different story.
My “friend” never mentioned the onslaught of texts begging to know or the ringing me multiple times at work they were simply told that “OP couldn’t keep a secret and just had to tell me and ruined the surprise”.
I honestly don’t know where to go from here, since being able to tell one of the mutual friends what ACTUALLY happened she’s just as pissed as I am.
I haven’t heard from my “friend” except for a text message telling me how I’m such a horrible friend and I shouldn’t have told them. I haven’t responded.
People had a lot of thoughts about the situation.
NTA. Texting you is one thing, calling you up at work is a completely different thing.
NTA, she called your work phone and interrupted the receptionist and a business meeting! That is where she crossed the line fully, not that she hadn't already with the many calls. You needed to put an end to it, and you did.
If she didn't want to know, she shouldn't have asked!
NTA. She was being a nuisance I may be biased because I can't stand gender reveal parties but she took obnoxious to another level. But she is being obnoxious for two after all.
NTA. You never call someone's work place. Those games can get someone fired.
NTA - hounds you multiple times a day and then gets mad when you had enough. You’re friend shouldn’t set up a big reveal if she can’t handle waiting like an adult.
Clearly, OP's 'friend' needs to grow up and stop throwing tantrums when she gets what she asks for.