Thanksgiving with the family can be emotionally complicated.
But Thanksgiving with the family and your cheating ex? Well, that can be exponentially more emotionally complicated.
AITA for leaving my parents' house after they invited my ex to Thanksgiving?
I live about 4 hours away from my parents so I don’t see them that often. Quite frankly I don’t mind being away from them for tons of reasons that are a little too personal for me to share.
Driving all the way there was already exhausting so I just wanted to settle in and get ready for dinner. First thing that happens was I recognized a car that I hadn’t seen in a while (2 months).
It was my ex’s car, parked right there in the driveway next to my mothers car. A little backstory. My ex and I broke up when I found out he cheated on me with two of my “close” friends for a good portion of our relationship (2 out of the 4 years).
I moved taking all of my things and my cat. Just left without a word to anyone. You have to understand I was completely devastated and I thought he was the one. Anyways, I pull up and see his car.
I went anyways to see my parents. When I go inside I call for my mother trying to limit the amount of times I see my ex. My mother comes immediately and gives me a hug. I ask her if she could step outside to talk. Wrong choice.
I ask her why my ex is here and she responds with, “I invited him. His parents are out of town and he didn’t have a place to go for dinner.” Completely blown away that she did that, since she knew the reason behind why we broke it off.
Stunned, I ask her to make me a plate and told her I was just going to stay at a hotel. She flips out and looks at me dumbfounded. Meanwhile, my ex just happens to step out to smoke a cigarette as my mother finally agrees to make a to-go container.
He's outside now staring at me and not saying anything which I was grateful for until he started to talk. He kept saying sorry and that he was lost without me, all the bullsh*t cheaters say after they have been caught.
My mom and dad step out with my food, so I am just ready to go. My dad stops me and tells me I am being childish for leaving and not facing up to my ex since he clearly wants forgiveness. I got so mad and yelled at all of them.
“I didn’t even want to come, I knew some s**t like this would happen that's why I am leaving. You didn’t need to invite him but you did even after all of the betrayal he put me through.”
On the brink of tears, my dad calls me an a**hole and I run to my car dropping my food after stumbling down the front steps.
I called some friends and they said that I should have stayed for the sake of my parents, since I was definitely being an a**hole.
The internet was quick to weigh in.
Everyone in this situation is an a**hole except for you. I am so so sorry that happened. You made the right choice in leaving.
NTA. I am so sorry that happened to you! I have to ask, what planet are you on? This is the most outrageous AH thing I've read on AITA today.
Given the circumstance of your breakup what your parents did was just outright cruel. Why are your friends taking the side of your parents? None of this makes any sense. Is there more to this story? I really don't have words.
NTA but your parents are, it is so disturbing and really messed up of them to invite this man who cheated on you, hurt you, betrayed you, and they want you to what? Break bread. You absolutely did the right thing by leaving.
You don’t owe anyone anything, not even your time. And some friends you have, I completely disagree with them telling you you should’ve stayed for your parents' sake, F that. I'm baffled, does anyone around you have your back?
I am truly upset on your behalf. OP you didn’t want to make the trip anyway and it seems that you guys have some traumatic past between you all, maybe it’s best if you go little to no contact for a while.
Also re-examined those friendships yeah. You deserve so much better.
NTA. Thanksgiving Ambush by your parents who are supposed to love and protect you! The most outrageous Thanksgiving post I have seen, by far. The audacity of your father to call you an a**hole is beyond low class.
Absolutely No Contact until an apology is made by the parents is the best plan. Do not let them guilt you for any reason. Including Christmas. Stay strong OP!
After receiving a lot of support, and also questioning around why her parents would ever think any of this is okay, OP responded:
One of the only friends that I truly trust said that my parents may have had a point in their relationship where one of them cheated and that's why my dad thought I was being childish.
Hopefully, OP is able to keep a firm distance and boundary with her parents, for the indefinite future.