Navigating friendship after one friend has a kid can be difficult. The massive experience gap between childless people and parents can create tension on both ends, not to mention the simple logistics of hanging out in the first place.
It can become extra awkward when the parent and childless friend disagree on when it's appropriate for the kids to be included in the adult hang.
Am I the a**hole for telling my friend I don’t want her to bring her two-month-old to my 25th birthday celebration? I’m turning 25 in February and was planning a weekend girls trip to Chicago. I have a friend who’s about to give birth any day now and our birthdays are ten days apart.
I was hesitant to invite her in the first place since she’s about to give birth but another friend let slip about my party so she basically asked if she could come along too. I said sure and then she said she would have to bring baby girl along.
Now on this trip, I was hoping to cross a bucket list item off my list - eating gummies and going to an aquarium while in Chicago. Finishing the night off with BBQ and drinking. An environment I wasn’t comfortable having a baby around.
My friend doesn’t see the problem with bringing her two-month-old along at all. Everyone agrees with me. The baby shouldn’t come with. My friend says that since I don’t have kids, I shouldn’t have a say in how she raises her baby. AITA?
Addition: this will be her third child, my apologies, I should have mentioned above.
The internet was quick to weigh in.
NTA. It doesn't sound as if you are trying to have a 'say in how she raises her child,' you are trying to have a birthday party consisting of activities totally unsuitable to a two-month-old baby.
Your friend needs to grow up to the reality that when she has a child, she has to be an adult and a parent which means a change in her social activities. She invited herself along on this outing; it's not a kiddy party so she probably better rethink that.
You shouldn’t have a say in how she raises her baby…BUT you definitely have a say in what you planned for your bday weekend! And for the record, I agree with you 100% a two-month-old has no business being involved in what you have planned!
NTA even a little bit. Having her baby there would completely change your entire weekend, she’s being selfish. Not to mention making poor choices as a new Mom.
NTA, does she think her baby is a purse?
NTA. There is a line to be drawn when trying to tell someone what to do with their baby, but this is not the situation. A two-month-old, still within newborn stage has zero business going here and there, in a large city, on a birthday weekend.
Also, in cold a*s February, in public spaces, with diseases still swimming in the air. WHILE y’all plan on being drunk and high. Your birthday weekend deserves to be free of children. TL;DR: She’s bugging bro.
NTA. That trip is not appropriate for a two-month-year-old. You are going to get intoxicated and hit the town. You don’t take a baby for that.
Any time someone goes, you don’t have kids you don’t have a voice in how I raise mine, that’s guaranteed they are doing bad parenting behavior and are looking for an excuse to shut down complaints.
Clearly, the internet and the rest of the birthday party is on OP's side, so her friend might have some self-reflecting to do.