As long as no one in management watches this tape, they don't need to do anything.

This sketch from UCBComedy team Pocketwatch brings you the NFL's long-awaited comprehensive response to the horrifically violent behavior that plagues their players. In it, they lay out exactly what their positions are on domestic violence, assault, rape, murder, war crimes, the nude celebrity photo hacks, brain trauma, JFK's assassination and more. It's about time.

Sources: UCBComedy