By Dan Abromowitz

Dear Jen,

Hope you are well! Great job with the fitness! I wish you the best. Now, please read the rest of this letter aloud, to your butt.

Jen's Butt,

Wow, okay. I've never communicated with a butt before (except for a single disastrous consultation with a specialized psychic) so cut me slack if I faux pas. It's just that I have so many questions, not just because you're a butt, but you're an accomplished butt to boot(y). A notable butt. The eyes of the world are upon you, Jen Selter's Butt.