Man asks if he was wrong to tell MIL wife hasn't showered in 5 weeks.
Having a newborn is difficult, and having twins can really put some parents over the edge. But what if your husband or wife is struggling to the point where you're worried about them? When this husband witnesses his wife struggle to bathe herself after giving birth to twins, he takes to the popular Reddit Forum to ask:
'AITA for Telling my wife's mom that my wife haven't showered for 5 weeks?'
The OP is the worried husband/new father.
My wife just gave birth to twins f and haven't had a shower since, ever time I ask her to she gives some kind of excuse. Like I can't leave the babies or I'm just too tired. She didn't act like this with our first child and I'm worried. Even when I took time off work to help her she still refused, I can't understand why. It has gotten beyond frustrating and worrying. -Blueprints000
That IS worrisome, but she's probably ZONKED. Give her a break. But then...
Other things she usually looks after like dinner or cleaning the house haven't been looked after, I been doing as much as I can myself which is hard because I work full time.
She is really starting to stink and it's hard for me when I sleep beside her during the night so during work I called her mom to see if she had any idea to help her daughter. Her mom give me a few ideas but didn't tell me she was gonna come over which she did.
I understand that OP is worried, but is this really his mother in law's business?
My mother in law went over to our house and basically forced my wife in the shower and refused to leave until she did shower. When I got home my wife was angry and told me she didn't need her mom involved and that she only needed my support during the hard time she's going through.
She said she felt humiliated. She been barely spoken to me ever since, I now feel as if I done something wrong. AITA for telling my wife's mom?
This is a tough one. It's not okay to humiliate your spouse, but in this case, did OP's wife have it coming? Let's see what the Reddit mob had to say.
N T A but I would try and convince her to see her doctor. This sound like PPD, and she needs to see someone immediately. -reader9802
New parents need to hear this: If the baby/babies are fed, clean, etc, have nothing you can do to help them, it's okay to let them cry for 10 minutes while you shower or run the vacuum or whatever.
Sometimes it's good for you mentally to walk away for a minute. NAH, I'm pretty sure OP did the RIGHT THING by calling his MIL. He's trying to respect his wife but sometimes you need to call in an outside but loving party to intervene. -carissa504
Also here to say this. NTA because you didnt invite your MIL to take part in this situation, you just asked for advice. Your wife was in her right to blow up, but the person that actually needs to get involved ASAP is a psychologist. -sunrrat
Seeing a lot of people disagreeing about forcing the shower but if she just had twins there's a good chance that she had a c-section which means she REALLY needs to bathe or she's at major risk of getting an infection. I think it was great that the mom came over and did that and also 100% agree this sound like PPD. - shesiksleopardthon
All good points. Then, this Reddit user has a harsher take.
He's kind of TA. OP I know it’s hard to see, but you wife is putting in all of her effort and energy into just existing and taking care of the babies that she doesn’t have enough left over to shower. Don't humiliate her by telling her mom. -ktlem337
And then, this fascinating take.
She also needs additional help. The OP doesn't have to complain about how she stinks. Come on. Having twins is hard. Sounds like she also has a toddler. Nightmare. - indigofiasco'