Paris Hilton is back! Or maybe she never went away! Maybe she's been hiding in your house for the last several months, filming this bizarre sex party in your basement!
The woman on the right has the facial expression of someone questioning all the life decisions that brought her to this moment. (via ParisHiltonVEVO on YouTube)
I guess Paris Hilton is still a thing, and Paris Hilton trying to have a music career is still a thing, because suddenly we have this music video for "High Off My Love," featuring Birdman. It's a fever dream of a video in which Paris asks "Do you want to get high off my love?" at least 50 times, but never gives anyone an opportunity to answer.
If this is a sex party, and I have to pick one of these people as a partner, I choose the man with a chandelier for a face. (via ParisHiltonVEVO on YouTube)
Well, I guess this featured Birdman fellow technically has an opportunity to answer, but he uses the time to discuss money. Oh, and I have some bad news about Birdman: He's not the film Birdman or the cartoon Birdman. Rather, he's a rapper whose rhymes are what I believe people in the music business call "tepid."
The whole video is just slightly off, but oddly compelling because of that. It feels 90% like a parody of itself and 10% like "Hey, maybe these people aren't having a sex party and this is actually a masked murder cult." I mean, seriously:
Bon soir! Did anybody call for a death? (via ParisHiltonVEVO on YouTube)
Anyway, here's the thing for your viewing... pleasure? That's not quite right. Your viewing masochism? Oh, and if this video turns out to have a Ring-style curse on it, my advance apologies for sharing: