Two seriously homoerotic tortoises.

Gather 'round, children, and I'll tell you the story of how respected British actor Benedict Cumberbatch decided to go for a bracing dip in the cool ocean waters of California and ended up chilling on a beach as human-tortoise hybrid (along with his Sherlock co-star Martin Freeman, for some reason). And as a dinosaur. And a thumb. And a... Well, a bunch of stuff. But we'll get to that.

It all started when some paparazzo caught this rather ubiquitous image of the shirtless dripping thespian in Los Angeles:

Sources: redditor I_REMOVE_COCKS