Advertising


Have you seen this thing?

Citizens of Gainesville, Florida should be advised that a giant thumb with crooked hair and really fake-looking pasted-on eyes and lips is on the loose and peeing on women near the University of Florida campus. While it is possible that the serial urinator is actually some sort of poorly designed computer-generated character, or perhaps a sentient collage of cut-up photos from Us Weekly, it is definitely not a fully human organism.

Or maybe he is. I don't know. I suppose it's always possible that this sketch is simply the work of a really lazy police artist trying to render the image some creep who gets off on micturating on strange women. But my gut's telling me that this mystery piss monster is something beyond our understanding. And my gut has never been wrong about a piss monster yet.

Sources: WJXT | h/t Gawker