Anyone who's been through the SOTU rodeo before knows what exactly our "state" is going to be. It's going to be strong. Sure, it may also be "getting stronger" or "resiliant...and strong!" or some such variation, but our Presidents aren't exactly known for changing the script to respond to, you know, reality. Here are some suggestions for a more accurate State of our Union.

(by Johnny McNulty and Shira Rachel Danan)