Let's hope Alex Jones attacking a Trump piñata is the weirdest thing you see all day.

Let's hope Alex Jones attacking a Trump piñata is the weirdest thing you see all day.

Back in April, Stephen Colbert debuted a new character on The Late Show called Tuck Buckford—who was meant to be a parody of conspiracy theorist/presidential advisor (probably) Alex Jones. Which, let us just say, is not an easy thing to do without veering into Poe's Law territory.

Now, Jones has responded with a new character of his very own. The Real Tuck Buckford.

Jones, as The Real Tuck Buckford, claims that The Real Tuck Buckford is in fact a liberal, who is very mad at Alex Jones for stealing his persona and using it to tell people the truth about gay frogs. As Buckford, Jones says all the things he imagines liberals go around saying/thinking all the time. Which is of course very accurate.

"I'm not like Alex Jones, I don't believe in political violence, that's why I promote it continually! That's called the Oxymoron Leftist Mind Control System that I bought into, because I wanna be in charge."

Jeez! If I had a dollar for every time I said that exact thing!

Jones then goes on to praise the recent production of Julius Caesar (the one all the Republicans are mad at because Caesar is played by a dude who looks like Trump). And, well, that is when all the hardcore piñata action starts, because The Real Tuck Buckman is very mad about how AWESOME Donald Trump is.


Now, you see—there could be more than a few problems with this. Particularly for someone like Alex Jones who is quite sure that a production of Julius Caesar is going to result in people going and trying to assassinate Donald Trump.

First of all—let's just be real here. Jones is an amazing actor. His impersonation of a liberal is simply uncanny. He says just what I'm thinking! It is totally possible that there are going to be people who see this and think "Oh hey, maybe I should go attack the real Donald Trump with a hatchet!" Is he not the least bit concerned about that?

Second! What if people watching the show do not understand that he's even doing a character, and think that Alex Jones himself wants them to go attack Donald Trump with a hatchet? I mean, we are talking about people who think Julius Caesar is an enthusiastic endorsement of political violence. Probably because they are too smart to go taking any of those liberal arts classes where they might have, you know, read the play.

We are also talking about people who are sending death threats to theater companies in Texas for performing The Merry Wives of Windsor, simply because that is also a Shakespeare play. You know, because they are just fed up with that dang William Shakespeare and all his liberal propaganda!

So it is totally possible that they will see this...

I can't stop looking at this GIF
I'm sorry, but this is my new favorite GIF ever

...and not realize Jones is "in character" (despite the wig), and think that Donald Trump has turned on him somehow, and then they go and attack Donald Trump with a hatchet.

Isn't he just a little bit worried? I think he should be. He should also be concerned by the fact that this Donald Trump piñata does not appear to contain any candy, which is probably part of a conspiracy against him from Big Party City or whatever. I hear they are totally in it with the aliens and the Bilderberg group. They routinely provide the streamers and pin-the-tail-on-the-sheeple games for meetings at Bohemian grove.

Let's hope that no one is inspired by this terrible violence committed against our dear president by Alex Jones!