An Obituary for America (1776-2017)

An Obituary for America (1776-2017)
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Born feisty and independent, she dies in the tiny hands of a power-hungry fraud funded by a foreign despot. She will be remembered as complicated and ambitious, overcoming her tough adolescence to be a force of good in middle age.

She died peacefully in her home after a brave and honorable fight, with the exception of Wisconsin.

She is survived by her mother, England, and her children Puerto Rico, Guam, U.S. Virgin Islands, Northern Mariana Islands & American Samoa.

America will be remembered for her love of food, her passion for baseball, and the many films and songs that bear her name. She will be remembered for her wit, her pride, and her ability to often make the brave and moral choice, even if it took her centuries.

Funeral services for America will be held January 20th in Washington, D.C.

In lieu of flowers, please donate to a charity of your choice, or to Angela Merkel so her extended family doesn't die with her.

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