Monday, Monday, Monday!! It's finally debate night!!!!!! Everyone is extremely pumped and/or filled with existential dread as this election stops feeling like a nightmare and starts feeling horrifyingly real.
One stage, two podiums, one moderator, no rules. Seriously, the debate is tonight and candidates still haven't signed a rules agreement. That's how far we've fallen. BUT WE'RE STILL PUMPED.
Here are 32 hilarious, stressed out tweets from comics and others who have predicted the debate's outcome to get you psyched:
Can't wait to see who wins the debate tonight so Trump can tell us whether or not it was rigged.— Twitnter is Coming (@OhNoSheTwitnt) September 26, 2016
BREAKING: In advance of tonight's debate, Trump campaign demands to see Lester Holt's long-form birth certificate #debatenight— Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) September 26, 2016
Personally I'm looking forward to the debate but then I love all the drinking holidays.— maura quint (@behindyourback) September 26, 2016
TRUMP GOALS FOR DEBATE:— Erin 🎶Gloria🎶 Ryan (@morninggloria) September 26, 2016
- no Hitlering
- ok soft Hitlering is ok just don't do the salute
- no saying "mah wiiiiiefe" in a Borat voice
Debate prediction: Hillary rolls her eyes hard enough to shift the magnetic poles, Trump speaks Chinese— Myka Fox Ⓜ️ (@MykaFox) September 26, 2016
TRUMP: And I was against the Iraq War from the start— Jason O. Gilbert (@gilbertjasono) September 26, 2016
DEBATE MODERATOR RON HOWARD FROM ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT: He wasn’t.
Can't. Busy composing the debate tweet that will sink Donald Trump.— Kashana (@kashanacauley) September 26, 2016
*at debate*— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 26, 2016
TRUMP: The whole thing was rigged! Just like I predicted. This is not good people. NOT GOOD
HOLT: May I ask the first question?
In High School, I was one of the top 8 debaters in New York State. My advice to Hillary: being good at debate doesn't get you a lot of dates— Gladstone (@WGladstone) September 26, 2016
Hillary will easily win the debate. Trump will declare himself the winner. No minds will change. My faith in humanity will keep dwindling.— Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie) September 26, 2016
A debate doesn't feel right for this election. Instead both candidates should face the Aggro Crag and the loser gets slimed. #debates— Chelsea Davison (@chelsea_davison) September 26, 2016
90% of the "Hillary/Trump won the debate" editorials have already been written. They're just going to plug in a few specifics Mad Libs style— Matt Nedostup (@nedostup) September 26, 2016
looking forward to everyone's great debate tweets! Together we can make absolutely no difference at all— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) September 26, 2016
If you want to play it safe during tonight's debate, drink every time the moderators hold someone accountable for lying.— Jay Welch (@welchjay) September 26, 2016
HILLARY: According to page 317 of section B32, my tax plan would cause growth in some sectors.— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) September 26, 2016
TRUMP: DOGS ARE CATS THAT SKIPPED COLLEGE!
DEBATE DRINKING GAME:— ♡ brian essbe ♡ (@SortaBad) September 26, 2016
Every time Trump says something giving him a better chance to win, drink a shot of bleach
During tonight's debate I plan to eat an entire bowl of skittles— Shalyah Evans (@ShalyahEvans) September 26, 2016
First they came for the fact checkers, and I complained a lot but there was no one around who could accurately assert that was the truth.— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) September 26, 2016
Just posting these together so future gender studies professors don't have to go looking for separate tweets. pic.twitter.com/EhNQBIA4xL— southpaw (@nycsouthpaw) September 26, 2016
*trump spends the debate on the need to preserve the purity of the teutonic race*— Mazel Tov Cocktail (@AdamSerwer) September 26, 2016
"defying expectations, Trump was very on message tonight"
#Debate2016 prediction: It won't change that sort of questionable way your dad says "Hillary."— Jaime Lutz (@jaime_lutz) September 26, 2016
How are we all watching the debate tonight? pic.twitter.com/Fu7clNB6Dp— Dave Shumka (@daveshumka) September 26, 2016
i've already thrown up 3 times thinking about the debate tonight best diet ever— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) September 26, 2016
TRUMP'S BAR:— shauna (@goldengateblond) September 26, 2016
Be a grownup.
Don't be too smart. Don't be too loud. Be likable. Smile. No not THAT much. Don't be too detai
ME: Lester, I got a bad feeling about this— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) September 26, 2016
HOLT: I gotta go babe
ME: Who’s my moderator
HOLT: I’ll debate you. When I get home
Keys To Tonight's Debate— Gavin Speiller (@gavinspeiller) September 26, 2016
TRUMP- Must appear to be a sane human.
CLINTON- Must appeal to every voter's specific opinion of what "likable" is.
I'd offer you a drinking game for tonight's debate, but it starts in under 7 hours so you're already late to start drinking.— Dan McLaughlin (@baseballcrank) September 26, 2016
Don't ask me how, but I got ahold of Donald Trump's debate notes. pic.twitter.com/BEEhT5uEma— ROB FEE (@robfee) September 26, 2016
Debate question predictions— Craig Rozniecki (@CraigRozniecki) September 26, 2016
"Secretary Clinton, recite the entire Constitution..."
"Mr. Trump, spell the word 'Constitution'."#DebateNight
Fox News just declared Trump the winner of tonight’s debate.— Albert Brooks (@AlbertBrooks) September 26, 2016