Donald J. Trump has released some health records in order to show that he is (physically) healthy enough to fix America's ills. While a 69-year-old man's health records might sound insanely boring, things get interesting when you look deeper—for example, when you look deep enough to discover that the guy who was listed as Trump's doctor was a dead man. At first, Trump tweeted that the report was written Dr. Jacob Bornstein, but deleted that tweet after realizing that Jacob has been dead for since 2010:
So, while Trump might be in perfect physical condition, he either forgot his doctor's name or that his other doctor has been dead for five years. Once he got the name right—the correct doctor was Dr. Harold Bornstein, Dr. Jacob Bornstein's son—Trump linked to the report:
Dr. Bornstein uses Trump-y language that sounds ridiculous coming from a man of science. Highlights include:
Laboratory and test results were astonishingly excellent.
His physical strength and stamina are extraordinary.
His cardiovascular status is excellent.
And the kicker:
If elected, Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency.
Trump and Dr. Bornstein have a lot in common: they both think that Trump is unequivocally the greatest, have a penchant for hyperbole, and have ridiculous hair.