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The Washington Post has obtained transcripts of two of President Donald Trump's absolutely batsh*t conversations with foreign leaders back in January. Some heroes embedded in the White House shared the records of Trump's chats with Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto and Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull and they're wild. Not in a good way.

Highlights include Trump whining to Peña Nieto, "If you are going to say that Mexico is not going to pay for the wall, then I do not want to meet with you guys anymore because I cannot live with that." He also is corrected by Turnbull that the Boston Bombers did not come from the Middle East.

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A particularly meme-able moment comes from Trump ranting about refugees to Turnbull, insisting that they will be bad people, not ones who will "go on to work for the local milk people."

"Local milk people," presumably means DAIRY FARMERS, not farm-to-table restaurateurs. The fact that the president forgot the phrase "dairy farmer" promptly started trending on Twitter.

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Whatever it means, it's a moo point.

Read the whole transcript of Donald Trump's crazy calls to foreign leaders here. For your own safety, please wear a helmet, because you'll be banging your head against the desk.